the billionaire man
felt more joyous excitement
driving his first used beat up Corolla
than his new shiny red Ferrari
happiness is a matter
of perspective and familiarity

This house on the corner with a tree
A bright green tree with fingered leaves
Is the last place for me to close a door
Pick a dandelion from a circle of grass.

A destination miles from an arrival
Where all doors keep open to the blue
Complétion of a life, my last window
To look out of and sit here with you.


Love Mary **

Remembering when you thought 30 pound was a lot
Remembering when your mum would wipe your bot
Remembering when the World was big and pretty
Remembering when life was ace with nothing ever ******

Remembering when people were fun and playful
Remembering when nothing was a handful
Remembering when asking for a sleepover
Remembering when I shared with my dog Rover

Remembering when I couldn't spell my surname
Remembering when all I wanted was fame
Remembering when I first passed my test
Remembering when I thought my car was the best

Remembering when we first had our kids
Remembering when we took them on their first trip
Remembering when they both left High School
Remembering when they often played the fool

Remembering when I fell over in the garden
Remembering when this all first happened
Remembering when the van first took me to hospital
Remembering when the acceptance was futile

Remembering when I first forgot my wife's name
Remembering when that put me to shame
Remembering when the nurse then changed my sheets
Remembering when I was hoping for that last final heartbeat

JJB

That I've lost more tears than words
That I've been scared of being intimate since the boy that abused me
That I'm hurting inside so badly that all I can do is laugh about it because I can't cope with the feelings in my head
That my mother is so depressed that the whole house is shaking
That my father cries silently in his room at night
That my sister is rather not at home
They don't know
They don't know why I wear scars like a crown
Why I wear bones like pearls
They don't know why I push them away
Why I love flowers more when they are dead
They don't know
Because I choose to
I need to be strong for my family
I need to keep the mask on
They don't know I'm wearing a mask
They just hear my name and associate it with the things I spill on the table
They will never know
I won't let them know

the boots are *****,
from stamping the ground.

the wet sound of
rain-stricken earth.
as if we could pay strangers,
such as our therapists;

whom have their own powerlines.

You dance to the music
Not to the crowd
Silly and Soulful
Simple and Proud.

You dance through the struggles
With shimmering grace
Cry when you need
Sharing empty space.

I follow your footsteps
Feel the Room
Learning to Love
Starting to Bloom