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Sometimes I want to curl up and cry.
This is one of those times.

I don't always know why
Maybe there isn't a "why".
Maybe my body just needs to feel an emotion.
Any emotion.
Maybe the sadness is just residual.
From past disappointments
Past grievances
Past conversations
Or just the past in general.

Sometimes I need to reset.
This is one of those times.
The reason why
I am shivering
on a hot summer's day?
My mind
is screaming,
begging  
for a calm
that I cannot reach.
The wails
inside
rattle me.
I am tired.
I am tired.
I am tired.
Rain drops
Falling in my head
Releasing their
Kinetic flow
As they fly
From my mind
I am free to
Fly from the rain
Fly free from
My trouble
As I float in
The sky I
Know that
Everything
Will be fine
As the raindrops
Fall on my head
The rain can be
Nourishing too
After a long draught
A strong rain can be
A good thing
Sometimes we have
To let a little rain
Fall in our lives
To truly get ourselves
Clean and wash
The grime away from the day
A poem about rain
Every day feels like an obstacle.
And I'm lost with every expression you make silently.
We notice each others indifferences but never speak on them.
We strike out of luck with every passing glance and every failed attempt to fall in love.
But I want to fall in love.
And so do you.
I hope.
I think.
I'm not sure.
And so we're hard to love when being revealed to vulnerability.
And I could carve out my heart just for you to carve out yours.
And we'd just be staring at each other unable to accept the responsibility of our hearts sensibility.
And fighting is pointless because neither of us want to be the reason for pain.
And we blur passive words like, "it's for your sake" or "I just don't want you to get hurt." When in reality we both know what we mean.
Because our indifferences are our similarities.
And in reality we just don't want to be hurt.
So we make ourselves hard to love.
Because maybe one day our worth will contribute to our happiness and not just for others.
But for us.
And one day we'll be able to feel that tingle in our skin when we touch.
But for now I'm hard to love.
And your scared of falling in love.
i have learned so much of myself
i have learned of my mistakes
my failures
& faults.
i've been reacquainted with myself
i have learned of my greatness
my kindness
& love.
i still have much of myself left to give
but i need to give those wonders
to myself
only.
only i can appreciate my full self
only i can love my full self
until otherwise
proven.
all i knew of you then
was your casual smirk, kind sparkling eyes
your attractive accent & adorable laugh
but i walked away then
& now here you are
& i want to know you this time around
god, id love to know you
i don't know what's going on in my head.
the demons broke free from the prison in my mind.
why?
because i was happy for a moment?
or have i forgotten something?
today becomes yesterday,
tomorrow becomes today,

now becomes earlier,
later becomes now,

present becomes past,
but isn't it sad that
what we thought is our future,
not always become our present?

- s. r.
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