I did not ask to be held together
Nor to be pulled through the dark
I only hoped to be warm for a moment
To linger a while longer in your heart

I’d like to.
In fact, I’d
have loved to,
but you made it
impossible.

I’d have set
myself on fire
if you’d have
asked me to.

Now, I’d let
it all burn
to ash, leave
the charred
husks behind.

Those are yours.

Not mine.

*

-JBClaywell

© P&ZPublications

She fell:
into my arms,
like raindrops
at my feet,
but no:
not the tiny type
that proceed the storm,
like the plump generous kind
that fall,
and let you know
that you're in the beginning and the middle of the deluge
half way in, and you can't go no farther -
type of rain.

Lighting up the night sky
of my life
with spiderwebs of purple lightning
she rolled like distant thunder,
while her waves of water
made everything brand new
again.

Suicide;
it doesn't stop the pain.
It packs it into a grenade,
amd throws it
to your loved ones.

Lately I've been feeling
very tired,
condemned to the coarse shouts
curses, and vile bitterness
of the people around me

I feel
so utterly wronged,
and misunderstood,
having to question the sky
over and over again,

how did a simple thing,
come to such terms
in a complicated world

Every move,
every word, every
expression of life
is judged and
grudges,
are as common as
love should be.

I find myself
trapped in endless seconds,
hours, days, years
performing the same acts
over and over again,
living the same regrets

while managing to grasp onto
the despair over
a time glass whose sands
are rushing against my will,
leading to a sad,
forgotten, fate

I can not find anything
to express joy and gratitude
of the person I am,
for it is because of who I am
the world is so intent
on bringing me down,

All I can do
when I run out of breath
to fight,
is to ask
for forgiveness,

in losing to
somebody else's will.