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 Oct 2017 Hadrian Veska
Star BG
Inside craters of mind I wander,
feeling fumes of dark energies rise.

Shadow figures embark
attempting to take sanity,
trying to drown self in sea of sorrows
where pity is infused in undertow.

Breath of inner resolve circles within
building momentum,
as standing position is taken
to conquer negativity.

Reprograming process commences
as craters become basins of light.
Deep breath integrates voice
saying farewell to dark
Hello to self love.

Inside pause under moon rays,
warrior within takes over.
Affirmations fly
as each word
is knife of power. cutting away dark.
“I’m a trooper who shall never give up.”
“I will conquer demons from past lives.”
“I believe in self and am sacred.”

Canyon of heart resonates
with power phases enkindling peace,
in all cells as mind pattens of past sadness
find exit route with another breath.

Light hugs inside delicate song
ridding self of baggage of loneliness.

And freedom rings while heartbeats plays
Never alone. Never alone, evermore.
I read a poem about being trapped in loneliness and feeling alone so this poem was born.
As always I'm dreading just leaving my bed,
I've got a hundred thoughts threading fog through my head.
Another day to live, twenty-four hours of fight,
I don't have much else to give; I used it all up last night.
Am I the only one to see colour in different shades and hues?
'Cause lately this world seems duller, the Earth has lost it's muse.

My body is aching through every bone and joint,
and my will is breaking, for I no longer see the point.
I grasp fire just to feel pain and stare at the sun to go blind,
It seems I've got a plastic brain and a melting mind.

I'm stressing out in a traffic even though I'm in no real hurry,
but in my head details are graphic of every fear and worry.
Another week to go through, seven days of pointless waste,
you know the feeling too true, you know it's feel and it's taste.
Am I the only one to see colour, instead of just white and black?
'Cause lately this world is duller, there's so much that we lack.

My body is aching from my head down to my toes,
and I'm just faking the knowledge no one else really knows.
I wonder if I'm sane, and if I'm alone and confined,
it seems I've got a plastic brain and a melting mind.

Why does it feel that every person I meet isn't real?
As if they're stuck in a dream, or following a line down stream.
Does anyone else think like this?
That there's something we all miss,
'cause wasn't life a gift of bliss?
Instead we regret and only reminisce.

My body is aching through every limb and pore,
and no matter what you're making, you'll always need more.
Can't be another link in a chain; bound, locked and intertwined,
I suffer from a plastic brain and a melting mind.
 Sep 2017 Hadrian Veska
Star BG
I have a brother,
that cares little to connect
because of our differences.
A sister,
too busy
with a husband
who won’t welcome me
to their home.
A son,
who cares little for a relationship
because he carries judgments
and has fiancee
that meets his needs.
A mother,
who is restraint from me
because
I can’t afford to visit
even thought she constantly asks
and no one will assist.

I feel family-less
BUT
at least I have my desires,
of nurturing my writing,
photography,
aiding humanity
and meeting everyday challengers.
At least, I have my dreams,
as I
carry no animosity,
just sadness.
Came this morning so I feel the disconnect. I am alright with it. Its part of life. In truth my heart and the love within is all I need.
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