Stuck in this deep depression of denial,
Waiting for the day of my internal revival.
Smothered by complacency,
An overwhelming intensity.
Almost done with my goodbyes,
Sickening sorrows & sparkling cyanide.
I'm a product of interest,
Put up for display.
Waging my battle of empathy
and apathy every night and day.
I am a self-destructive travesty,
Delighted in self-inflicted agony.
These masochistic realities do not stray.
They've made their home where at night I pray.
In my closet and in my mind;
They incapacitate me,
and leave me confined.
Run fast, run free.
This is what they tell me.
Run fast past the gilded bars.
I'll be free of this monstrosity,
When I can count the stars.
In the mean time, I shall wait.
For my internal revival to arrive.
For this is an intricately crafted game,
And the weak never survive.

Sit and talk but I cannot say of what
Words make up the air, all their meanings hushed
Black coffee, make up, burning ashes and sage
Memories washed of their feeling in the bleeding hot summer rain

Calendars, journals, lilac, and falling asleep
My blood burned so hot when my ink ran so deep
Locked me in your hardened heart, no apology or reprieve
If I ever wanted out, I never wanted to leave

Fanfare, warfare, conversations in vain
**** it, **** it, **** you, take it all back today
If you've left for where I've gone, you've gone to the wrong place
Your lies soaked without purpose in the slowing hot summer rain

Downtown nights, loyal tires, every bit down the drain
My mind played tricks on me; your affections went astray
You played your part in the chess game, but it was my move to make
Nothing lasts forever in the fading hot summer rain