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I.

There are parts of this story
Written for me only
Chapters not to be read aloud,

II.

The tears on the pillow
Moonlight illuminating the dew
Silent cries in the quiet hours

III.

The endless screams
Muted to the world
But piercing and agonising in my head

IV.

Blood in the bathtub
Blades hidden 3rd drawer down
Scars decades old that no one has ever seen

V.

All of these small chapters;
The little hidden tragedies
Of my short, bright life
Self esteem
Teenage dream
Soul black
Beauty queen

Little fiend
Unthreaded seam
Broken hearted
Dopamine

Body seen
Liquor cream
Hates herself
Doll regime

Holy gleam
And hellish scream
Just an object
The lust supreme
Once upon a time, when the world was a feeble and wild drop in the ocean of space, a small crack was opened in the universe. Through that crack fell a great Bear, and she was magnificent, fur mottled blue with the constellations trapped in her skin. Her steps shook the earth as she traveled, seeking a place of great peace, upon this speckled planet that was scarcely bigger than herself. Laying down beside a mountain, with thunder in her voice, she birthed three cubs, bright as comets. To her first cub, Rainin, she said 'you, my son, shall inherit the sky, bring it sunlight and storms and lay blankets of snow upon this land, you will be vast and endless for all time'. To her second son, Seuro, she spoke 'and you child, will inherit the sea, from an island peak you shall rule the roiling waves, bring tides and calm to the waters, you will herald the first age of all things'. And lastly, to her daughter, who was sun-bright and borne of stars, she told her 'Maidah, you will inherit the Great Plains and the green grasses of this earth, break the mold of it and shake it, but also bring rise to mountains that reach your brother in his clouded domain, and tear in two the plates of the sea from beneath your brother's feet. With your breath you will bring life from soil to seed, and you will be queen to all that walks and breathes upon the ground. This, to you, is my last gift'. And the great bear who passed through a rift in the universe, having gifted her children, sunk deep beneath the mountain into endless sleep. Still, she slumbers, and her children shake and shape what she has given, until they join her in morpheus' domain when their world is dust and the well of creation has dried. They will sleep peaceful under mountains, their great paw prints everlasting as they let that which they have shaped greet its own sleep, its own death, yet the stars will remember them,
and this too, is a gift.
The winter winds blew in
Carrying salt from the sea
And ice from the north
It whipped and raged
Like a monster thrashing
At his invisible chains

And we brace ourselves
With layers and fire and coal
Dousing the monster
Dampening his roars
With our crackling embers
And hot cocoa hands

But you and I
With your eyes like arctic frost
And mine aglow with summer's
Forest fires and charred woods
We leave behind the warmth
To dance gentle in the chill

From spitting flame to air,
Air that burns like fire in this cold
And still we hear the roaring.
Us two, pale as fresh snow
Soulful as the cinder sun
We distmantle and destroy

Monster! Monster! With eyes,
Eyes like storms and sky
And lungs of triumph and freedom
We three, treading blizzard winds
Spirits dancing gentle, and joy!
Joy boundless, as the winter roars
I am dotted with happiness
Like freckles on my sun-kissed skin
I bathe in the light and I shape it
Into sculptures of beauty
Reminiscent of the face that births such joy
Eyes sapphire blue, an ocean expanse
Of kindness and hope
I am drowning and disappearing
Becoming the sun that glitters on the water
We dance like that in unison, eternally
I decided to stop following
The sparse and sorrowed rains
I will become my own storm
Cure the drought that binds me
These tears will feed my roots
And I will grow and grow and grow
In this savannah, where beast
Kills beast over scraps
I have become my own god
I have saved and salvaged myself
Tomorrow,
I leave
and dear
I'm afraid
that you
won't
miss me

Cause I
know I'll
think of
your guitar,
your hands
my hands
your laugh,
and dance

Cause I
know I'll
listen to
your music
when I'm
homesick
or else try
to remember
your eyes,
your words

But will you
miss my piano,
my hands
your hands
my laugh,
my car
will you phone me
just to hear
my voice again

Will we even
Say goodbye

Do we have to

Or have we
already
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