I was laying in your bed
waiting for you to come jump in
I put on some music, of course my favorite song
wondering what was taking you so long
finally you walk through the door
and I couldn't wait to kiss you more.
you slowly walk over, but instead of laying on your bed
you grabbed my hand instead.
you pulled me in close and we started to dance
which I swear to god, put me in a trance.
Our song came on and you whispered every word in my ear
soft enough for just me to hear.
Your hands on my hips, mine in your hair
that's when I knew, we had something rare.
We danced and danced, you spun me around and dipped me down
We were holding each other so close, as if we would never let go.
In those moments, we were infinite
I wish we had never finished.
When the song was over, you kissed my lips.
Oh god did you kiss my lips. you kissed me like you were suffocating and I was the only air you needed.
you picked me up and layed me on your bed.
you kissed my forehead and made your way to my neck.
You found my ear and whispered slowly "I'm in love with you."

To have

My head on your chest

Beneath your comforting arms

My hand on your stomach 

Moving with the rhythm

Of your breathing

The silence being pierced
By your wonderful heart beating

Is truly

The best feeling
Of pure happiness

That I will ever experience

Used
Thrown away
Here I am
Here to stay

I'm used to a man's hands on my thighs meaning something more
I'm used to kissing someone I'm in love with
I'm used to baring my soul to someone who is committed to me
But today, when he held my face in his hands like I've always dreamed of having done to me
And his hands instantly found the space between my thighs before he stroked my cheek or traced my jaw
I was tempted to say "I have other body parts, I have hands and shoulders and a neck"
"I'm more than just a body that you can use"
But I remembered that there are no feelings involved
This is purely physical
This is my medicine
This is what's going to numb my pain

I'm someone who used to love with all my heart
Until the only girl I loved just tore it apart
I'm someone who used to keep promises
Until the only girl I loved just broke hers to pieces
I'm someone who used to trust so much
Until the only girl I loved showed me why I should not do such
I'm someone who used to always truly believe
Until the only girl I loved made all those make-believes
I'm someone who used to choose to always stay
Until the only girl I loved just left me alone and stray

And now that someone who I used to be, is totally gone
Because the only girl I loved just used me, for the thing called "fun"

i am not
a nail to hang a picture
a switch to turn on a light
a key to open a door
a broom to sweep a floor

so why must you think
it is okay
to treat me like these few?
i am a person
a mind
a soul
i was not made
to be used


- j.m.d.