I’ve been pulled
and pushed around
all my life

Like a rag doll 

And it has ended up

Where I am just
going with the wind

Push me away

Pull me back
close

Mess me around

I dont care anymore

I’ve gotten used to

Being used

i lay awake at night
and
listen to the sound the rain makes.
it spatters onto the ground with such purpose
that i can not help but feel jealousy in the pit
of my empty stomach.
the rain knows where its going and where its been.
i wander, confused at who i am and who i'm going to be.
i crave the feeling of certainty.
to know if i'm going to pull the string attached to my lips
and pull it into another forced smile another day.
i lay awake at night and
wish to be a drop of rain.

Chaplin is his name, Sir, Charles Chaplin. A man of many talents one can say. He was a poet, dreamer,  a gentleman, a lonely fellow, always hopeful of romance and adventure and he was The Little *****...END.

I need a shoulder to cry on
I need someone to talk to
I need someone to hold me
I need someone to tell me it's going to be ok.

Where is that someone?
I feel like I've been searching forever
and it's really getting to the point
where I can no longer search

I try to eat
but calories consume me
just looking at them make me feel full

disgusting, worthless
and fat
why did I look at all of those calories?

disgusting, worthless
fat pig
stop looking at calories
and don't eat a thing

Kick me
Eat me
Laugh me
Impale me

I am dust
And smoke
I am mere fragments of who
She used to be
I have assumed to be
This body which
I am using
And abusing
With my purges
And my urges

Because nothing is perfect
But regret, ah regret
Now that I can feast upon
And Lost faith?
Now that is just a buffet of emotion
That was once good but is now discarded
Thrown away like your empty stomach and your yellowing fingers
AH and the remembrance of HIS fingers.
The way no matter how hard you try,
His touch still lingers
All the way up your thighs.
You can’t escape it; for you didn’t escape it then now did you?
You didn’t even scream!
You LET him ****** your mind
And pulverize your childhood
With one hand! You LET him give you years of disgrace
And an unrelenting NEED for cleanliness
For purity that can never be found!
So you scrub and you rub
Your hands till their red,
Why not give up and leave your mind
To me instead?

You are not strong
You are not bold
Always doing whatever you’re told!
You think I’m ruining you?
I’m helping you, helping you go exactly
Where you should’ve gone the minute you betrayed yourself
By not helping yourself.

So you see
I’m here because
You can’t face a mirror
You can’t face your own TOUCH
There’s just so much
I can watch without recoiling in disgust
You make me sick!
So ill make you sick.

And now you see,
I am everywhere inside you
Let me invade you
It shouldn’t be so hard
You’ve been stepped on before,
On that day,
And it seems only fair
You should leave this world
In the very same way.
Because your gravestone is marked all
That’s needed is your final date
Don’t try and deny it
You know it’s too late.

You can’t hide your despise
For all you see
Behind the redness of your eyes
IS ME!
Does that scare you?
It should
I’ve done everything
All that I could
To lead you here.
For you hold TOO MUCH fear.
And that’s not acceptable.
That’s what makes you so forgettable.

So you see,
Everyone knows
They know you’re a coward
And they see right through you.

So ill smoke this body
And pop it
And blister it
And cut it
And mutilate
And supply it
Yet never satisfy it
But I will always comply
To my will
And I will purge every ounce of you that is left
Until there’s nothing left.

Ill throw you into the gutter,
Where you will splatter
And eventually...
Yes eventually the whole of you will be reconciled
Flushed down the same way your life went,
Because this is where you belong

It shouldn’t be very long
Your time is up


All hail Mia!