Diary of the Damned: Favorites

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Ember Evanescent

I don't even know what the hell is wrong with you anymore.
Just stop, okay?
Please.
Don't tell me how you got drunk, I don't actually care about how you defile your own body or any other girl's body in public or in private, I don't give a **** about how much **** or ecstasy you've messed up your body with. You are beyond under-aged. I don't even care about the law, really. I am not a particularly law abiding person, I don't care if you drink under-aged or sleep around or get high as hell or smoke like it's your last night alive, but don't tell me about it. It doesn't impress me.
It saddens me that you are so young and are already turning to substances. You are letting the drugs and the alcohol swallow you and turn you into someone you are not, losing who you are. It bothers me that you inhale smoke into your lungs before you can even legally drive. It hurts my heart that you seek only to satisfy your body, and you need it from more than one girl, you can't just commit to one person because you have no love in your heart so ***** you.
The problem is, I don't even care, okay?
I don't even care, but you are a cold and unkind person because you are *not faithful, you are so brutal, you know that you are hurting me and don't even f!cking care I wish I could cry but I swore to myself I would never ever cry over you as long as I lived and I don't care, I don't care I DON'T F!CKING CARE ....except I do.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

#no #idkwtfiswrongwithme #imsorryifihaveoffendedanyone #heishurtingme

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Failure

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Hunter Bacon

Failure

They think I'm "fixed"
because of therapy, treatment
funny, depression isnt just some skit
it's an illness, and no, it doesn't end.

Silly you, you think I'm fine
you're outside my walls
can't cross this line
happy on the outside
Inside I'm aching to die.

#love #harm #broken #depression #heart #hate #sadness #death #failure #insanity

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

December 13, 2014

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Joshua Haines

December 13, 2014

"I really wish I could love you."
"Don't cry. I'll be okay."

Her cold hands blanketed my cheeks, as warm tears repelled from finger to finger.

I looked at her, as her eyes changed from blue to green to blue again. "I don't want you to die, Reno."

"Dying can't **** me, Josh. I thought you knew better." Her eyes were green again, as her iris exploded into a wave of grey. She blinked and they were blue again, changing the room to an eggshell white. We sat on a naked mattress, in the middle of an empty room, my face resting on her soft shoulder. Only orange, dancing pill bottles kept us company. They'd tip their caps, like a hat, at the end of each song.

We swam in a teal sea, inside of four brick walls. Our mouths didn't move, but our voices travelled through air bubbles.

Doing an underwater backflip, the bubbles broke, "When did you first fall in love?"

Kicking off the floor, towards her, "I was twenty."

"How'd you know?"

"She gave me a cupcake and was trying to light the candle, but couldn't. She kept trying and trying. At that moment, I knew I loved her."

She swam towards me, her legs like ribbons waving at the surface.

"His name was Lee," she cooed as she started to drown, "I was seventeen and he open hand slapped me. I thought that was love. Then, eventually, he started to close his hand and then I knew that it wasn't. It didn't stop me from loving him with everything I had, though."

I reached for her as her legs were being pulled up to the surface. She opened her mouth, "You'll be okay. I promise."

My pillow was soaked by sweat as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The other side of the bed was empty. I turned my head to see the bathroom light peeking behind an indecisive door. Getting up, I walked around the foot of the bed and over the blanket dying on the floor. As I grew closer to the bathroom, the sound of retching clawed at my eardrums.

My hand pushed the door until the bronze **** kissed the wall. An alabaster body was on the floor. Reno's face appeared as she wiped her mouth. She flushed the toilet. I walked towards her, kneeled beside her, and hugged her as the sound of suction and spinning water drowned the air.

I whispered in her ear. She picked up head, out of my arms, and smiled, blue eyes and all.

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

The Butterfly Thief

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Julia O'Neary

The Butterfly Thief

I didn't know that a man
could hold me with arms
so strong-
But kiss me with lips
so soft-

I have felt butterflies make
windstorms of my insides before-
But I never felt their wings halt-
Hushed, still and quiet-
Have they flown away?
Or have you lulled them
into a false state of grace?
I could exist in your embrace,
in the calm after the storm,
my heart flat-lined and wind
knocked out of my chest,
for however long you let me.

I whisper into your sandpaper cheek
I should go-
You whisper back
Okay-

But I sit for a few more moments,
your arms wrapped around me,
reluctant to move, because when I do
I can no longer pretend you're mine.
This is only a stolen moment in time.

You unfold yourself from me
and it's already begun-
The moment passes
and soon enough this feeling
too will be undone.

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Unrelease

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

SG Holter

Unrelease

Holding on for
Dear life. To the
Thought of
Letting go.

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Untitled

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

SG Holter

Untitled

Walking on
Shards of
Mirror. I have a
Thousand clones
Sharing
My pain.

Such is
World. Humanity. And
Tragedy.

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Muse

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Born

Muse

So what happens after we fall in love
then I tell you stories
The ones that are invisible to the eyes of many

Then I grew old and reminisced on my weary love aches
the ones that got you here

Once upon a time the moon was brighter than the sun
now that's how you begin a love story
then I tell you about the daring ghosts

But first love her most
your mother
the months of agony are irreplaceable, priceless

My child
Love is real
you float like a feather
Then when you find your person
be sure to tell your kids that
Love is Life

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Don't Let Pain Win (a story)

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Luna Lynn

Don't Let Pain Win (a story)

Oh the pain
Oh the pain it hurts
and it hurts so bad
Clutching my chest in heaving
never ending breaths
I've lost my soul
I've gone mad
I sit here to pass the time
while you try to buy it
You think I'm fine
but I'm heartbroken
and I hide it
So you smile and drink
your tea down smooth
while I try not to notice
your lips
every wrinkle around your mouth
every motion
every groove
You reach out to
You reach out to touch me
and a fire lights inside
But you packed your ****
and now the cab is coming
because you said
you said the fire died
I was convinced
so I did not fight
Just let you go
into the breeze
into the rain
out of the snow
You kissed me one last time
one last time
and in that split minute
of a moment
you were still mine
and in being mine I rubbed you
and I kissed your chin
and I asked you
was the pain worth giving in
You only smiled
wiped my tears away
Walked right out on my life
and told me I'd be okay
left me in a state of disbelief
complete disarray
and the pain was so extreme
I couldn't even pray
So I took my life right there
right where you left me
right where you left me standing
and as I watched my body become
a distant visual memory in dreaming
a painful reminder
an ugly history of a sad and
a weakly human being
I watched you come back

I watched you

I
watched
you
come
back

(C) Maxwell 2014

#suicide #sad #pain #sadness #breakup #heartache #fiction

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

not so merry go round

Dec 2014 Diary of the Damned

Luna Lynn

not so merry go round

Remember those days?
Those days we spent driving nowhere
just listening to music and our own desires
just riding the wind
Remember those nights?
Those nights we spent making love
just becoming so lost in our hopes; dreams
just becoming lost in our skin
Remember those laughs?
Those laughs we shared over long islands
just living, smiling and spending money
just drinking away our troubles within

Remember those days?
Those days we argued, cried; left it to God
just threw our hands up in frustration
just decided to walk away
Remember those nights?
Those nights we cried ourselves to sleep
just trying to forget what we did
just trying to forget the pain
Remember those laughs?
Those uncomfortable moments in the light
just trying to pretend we could be friends
just trying to remain

And in the midst of memories
here we are
and there we go

once again

(C) Maxwell 2014

#love #sad #relationship #confusion