I looked at myself in the mirror,
Broke a glass,
And held it against my face

Instead of slicing into my skin
Like my mind so desperately desired,
I watched as
My eyes fluttered
And started a steady stream,
Which fell and accumulated
Into a pool at the bottom of the glass

When the stream ceased,
I pursed my lips to the jagged edge
To drink

The sharp glass
Smoothly sliced into my bottom lip
And just as the clear stream flowed into my mouth,
I started to bleed

The blood mixed with my tears,
I swallowed,
And as the salty liquid travelled down my throat,
I realized that I was tasting pain
In its physicality
And yet somehow,
I felt relief

We met on a playground
You challenged me to a race,
I won

The next day
You challenged me again
I still beat you
And that became our thing

Slowly by slowly,
You got faster
And before I knew it,
It was me that was chasing you

At first,
It was
Easily,
Happily,
Healthily

But before I knew it,
It was with everything I had
No matter how much my body wanted to give in
And my mind wanted to stop
I risked everything just to be with you

For some reason
I thought you would slow down
Or at least look for me
The way I always looked for you,
But you didn’t

It was gradual,
So I should have seen it coming,
How each time your stride got longer
And you legs moved quicker
But I was so in love with the beginning
That I stopped thinking about the present and the future
And hoped that we could live in the past

Now we pass each other everyday
You look right through me
I always look back
Hoping you’ll turn around
Because I’m done chasing you,
Or so I say

But I guess that’s wishful thinking
Deep down,
I know
That chasing is for the playground,
A place that we’ve outgrown

My heart is bleeding
But how can you tell
When it’s already supposed to be
Covered in blood

I look at you now,
And you are nothing like the person I fell for,
And it makes me wonder,
If you ever really were that person,
Or if you were just acting like the person,
You thought I wanted you to be
So you could get what you wanted
And then leave

I’m sitting in the car
Outside a house full of people
Crying my eyes out
People know I’m in here
No one cares

I needed you today
I know I shouldn't say that but it's true
I haven't talked to you in five months
Not a word
Who's counting?
Me

I need your patient ear
To listen to me the way you did
Pushing me to tell you more
Feeling for me
Pulling back all my layers
Fighting through the thorns
Until you found
Me

God you were perfect
I'm so good at lying to myself
Saying I'm over you
That I'm better off

But today,
It's clear
I'd give everything,
To have you listen,
It's the only thing that'll make me feel better,
I know

But today,
I realize
That everything
Isn't enough

You have done so much to hurt me
I have made lists
And yet it doesn’t matter,
I still love you

They say love is the most powerful thing on earth
Now I know,
They’re right