of course you disliked stupidity,
of course you didn't want me.

of course you hated immaturity,
of course you didn't need me.

*of course.

You came to me in time of despair even though the way I was treating you wasn't fair.
You'd hold my hand and tell me I'd soon be fine, because I think you knew I wanted to die.
There would be days I'd seem a million miles away and begin to cry, or days I would be running around not acting one bit shy.
Regardless of the day, your actions would find a funny way to tell me you loved me everyday.
Due to my thoughts I wasn't sure what to believe, I guess I had to be taught.
I lived and I learned and soon the tables were turned.
Through a long painstaking process you taught me the unbelievable.
You opened my eyes to a life full of beauty and self-worth, and opened my heart to an irreplaceable, beautiful love.
I love you and everything you have taught me, I wouldn't trade any moment we have shared for the world.
You're my best friend and life wouldn't have such a complete feeling without you, and every emotion you make me feel.

these scars i've gained
in battles fought

they eat me from
the outside-in

but there are those
from lovers all

that eat me from
the inside-out

but if these scars
are all i'll have

and remember
from our love

then so be it

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

acceptance is something we all wish was contagious,
but true acceptance comes from a heart that is filled with patience.
fingers tremble as dreams race through your bloodstream.
trying on different clothes and attitudes makes your body ache and turn,
outside is an identity that isn't yours which feels as bad if not worse than a peeling sunburn.
"don't." you tell yourself. "don't give in to the personality you've thrown in the highest corner upon the highest shelf.
it's gone.

(j.a.r.)

Stain my lips with your kiss, like the orange and yellows stain the morning sky to clear the way for the sun. I want to taste you now and I want to taste you later. Don't be greedy with your love, sharing is caring, and I would love to be included if you are giving. I want to roll over in the morning half asleep and explore every part of your mouth. And I want to rollover in the late night, wide awake, and explore every part of your mind. You are an incredible, independent, and intricate boy and I don't plan on taking advantage of that ever. I want you at all times of the day and I want you over everyone else. For you see, if my mind must be filled with thoughts of something, I am begging for it to be the thought of you. And even if something else feels it stands a chance, they can shy away as they watch the thought of you fill every single part of my mind, places I didn't even know existed. You fill me up and make me think and feel alive. And I wouldn't trade this for the world.