as a kid
there's nothing
like wasting away inside a tiny
room
sitting on the backrest
of the couch
looking out the window
and seeing her
tread through the rain

a red umbrella covers
her.

Mother

she's going back
to the liquor store

there have been
too many fights lately

she was a
musician
and she put it as,
“Darling, we need to change
the tune.”

He was a
writer
and he shot her

and then himself

She could say it if
she wanted
to but
the words would
carry no
weight behind them

like a cat shaking
the paw with
you
and not understanding
the real meaning
behind
the gesture

so was her
every
“I love you.”

Enough to make an
old boy cry
but he
preferred suicide

Needless to say
her response
was
“Meh.”

Memories flash through my head like a deck of cards
First in last out
Last in first out
Quad core, octa core

Signals stick and queue
Buffering and quick to view
I throw my head back
And drop it to reset the stack

Flickering memories
Lights of joy
Come to me now
Release the sweat from my brow

I'm picking litter
To clear out the litter in my head
To clear out what was said

With a robot arm
I mean you no harm
It's a mental need
To sow new seed

The needs of the planet
Are called out by the Goddess Tanit
Let's gather more litter
And afray from being bitter

there's a ring of fire in your eyes
that sets me alight,
leaving me yearning for the next moment that they meet mine.
and your hands roll over the hills on my skin,
creating a flat earth beneath your palms,
one you tread lightly across like it's new fallen snow.
and as the sun from your smile melts it all away,
you begin to plant flowers across the newly warmed earth,
gently allowing them to find their homes in places of safety.
they bloom quickly,
creating a trail of lavender & rose to the core of my being.
as time passes and the sunshine fades to moonlight
they thrive,
seeming to glow in the dark,
before beginning their unwanted wilt.
and as the snow falls again,
i will wait for the sun to shine bright
the next time your fire eyes meet mine.

smile sigh walk away
still roaming all the hotels and cabarets
wallowing in sophistry and idle banter
as love and retribution fade

hearing feverish words from a parallel universe
where attention is hell and ignorance is bliss
and all the emerald cities and vast molten plains
disappear into the nothingness
of your jaded gaze
lost

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pur whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the ****** and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to ***** up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do
you?