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I fear that one day my life will be controlled by substances
It's sad to say that I put myself in these situations
But my body yearns to feel numb and I know of no other way to make the pain go away
Maybe not feeling is okay but my bad choices could conflict badly on something amazing in my future
To decide which is more important and at the same time not allowing my body to be over taken by drugs is difficult
I always thought I was strong and this is my test
It will define the person of whom I will become and if I fail then I apologize
I apologize to the future me because I know you will suffer
And I know happiness will not be an option for you
609

I Years had been from Home
And now before the Door
I dared not enter, lest a Face
I never saw before

Stare solid into mine
And ask my Business there—
“My Business but a Life I left
Was such remaining there?”

I leaned upon the Awe—
I lingered with Before—
The Second like an Ocean rolled
And broke against my ear—

I laughed a crumbling Laugh
That I could fear a Door
Who Consternation compassed
And never winced before.

I fitted to the Latch
My Hand, with trembling care
Lest back the awful Door should spring
And leave me in the Floor—

Then moved my Fingers off
As cautiously as Glass
And held my ears, and like a Thief
Fled gasping from the House—
 Dec 2015 Emmanuel Coker
Styles
I know you love it,
I can feel your vibe.
you don't just see me,
you see my other side.

I saw you looking;
how you stared for a while,
noticing you smiling,
when I caught you,
for the second time.

must of been those stunning eyes
or that curious smile, you caught my eye
Wanted you closer as the seconds went by
instead of just flirting, I wanted to be by your side.
eyes feeling on each - locked out the world
left each other stuck inside.

I saw you notice me,
and I noticed for a while.
As I looked on, I noticed your style.
And now I'm feeling you, lovin your vibe.
noticed your eyes feeling, watching me move
like a movie --- we should roll, and chill
then take a ride

Close your eyes, and
let me climbs inside.
Touch your soul,
while I ease your mind,
rock your body,
sooth it with mine.
giving you the real me,
until you are addicted to that natural high.
Don't rush a think,
lets just take our time.

Relax, baby just enjoy the ride.
Coming into my world,  while I dip inside.
give me the best of you like its already mine.
Introduce your Highness to her new shrine.
If only I knew your deepest fears,
your goals, your dreams, your closest peers,
I'd love you for the rest of my years,
If only I knew.

If only I knew what made you sad,
the good, the great, the worst, the bad,
I'd love you as the best I've had,
If only I knew.

If only I knew how to make you stay,
my troubling heart will no more astray,
I'd love you until my very last day,
If only I knew.

– billiondays
I'm feeling a little blue.
I hate the way
The rain softly lands on the ground
Just enough to get my feet wet
But not enough
To let me drown.
Fear.

Has picked up my trail
Is looking to find me.

Fear.*

He's right on my tail
He's coming to bind me.

I run through the night
I'm looking behind me.
With no one in sight
I'm running to find me.

Where would I go?
How would I get there?
Will I ever come back?
Would anyone care?

I'm outrunning fear
Running to find me
Who will come near
And help me come find me.

Out of nowhere it strikes me
I fall to the ground
Out of nowhere it fights me 
From pain do I drown

Away from the pain
I go and I swim
But what will I gain 
If I actually win.

I'm running away 
But there's something I lack
I know I can't stay
But do I have to go back?

8/3/13
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