Elle Harris: Poems

Elle Harris Sep 2018

Dig your claws in my back
Treat me like I'm just a snack
Not a person, just a use
"drunk" is not an excuse
Whenever I speak up and make some noise
The only response is "boys will be boys"

Spilling all the tea with this one

#assault #tea

Breakup

Elle Harris Feb 2018

Breakup

The elephant in the room
As you and I sit across each other
This feeling of impending doom
With silence thick enough to smother

We stare across and mumble none
As we let silence scream volumes
We both know that this is done
This bonds releasing lethal fumes

There's no point in trying to save
When both of us are drowning
Our failing love needs its own grave
With decay and death surrounding

Goodbye for forever
Throw away the connection
Have our hearts sever
And feel no abjection

Those breakups when no one's sad because they knew it was coming...

Cheating

Elle Harris Jun 2019

Cheating

My teeth chatter and my leg shakes
As i think of the forms cheating takes
A snap every day, seeing each other here
“I couldn’t help it. Blame it on the beer”

“You’re all I want. It was just a mistake”
Was it really or are you a snake?
You say all the right words, so how could it be
That you were always lying to me

#cheating #sad #lying #relationship

cry for help

Elle Harris Apr 2019

cry for help

I want someone to notice
And
I want someone to help
But
I don’t want anyone to know
And
I don’t want anyone to worry
See
I don’t want to disappoint you
But
I've already disappointed myself
See
I don't want to hurt you
But
I've already hurt myself

#sad #depressed #selfharm #help

First love

Elle Harris Oct 2018

First love

I look up at his face
while standing by his side
my heart starts to race
and my smile grows wide

I wrap my hand in his
and stand on my tip toes
I wonder what this says
I question if he knows

To his kiss, my lips rise
and one forms from two
As I look him in the eyes
I say "I'm in love with you"

#love #kiss #iloveyou

half pint of tears

Elle Harris Jan 2018

half pint of tears

My flesh is weak
And my outlook is bleak
But I gave you my all
And you just let me fall
Now I sit and dissect your lies
And fall out of love with your eyes

House Not Home

Elle Harris Aug 2019

House Not Home

This place is not a home; It is merely a house
In which my lions’ heart has the voice of a small mouse
This isn’t four walls, a warm bed, and a fireplace
It’s cold chains that bind me and bitterly laugh in my face
I could leave a home, though I wouldn’t want to
But I’m trapped in this house, with no doors to walk through

There’s a single window, but it’s too high
And, though I can’t reach it, I jump and I try
My fingers skim the ledge, but I can’t get a grip
And as I fall, I see my freedom slip

Brought to you by another anxiety attack

#freedom #sad #trapped #hurt #depressed

I will never...

Elle Harris Jun 2020

I will never...

I will never be her
I will never have her caramel hair that you admire from afar
I will never have her pure skin, untouched by man or scar
I will never have a slim waist like hers for you to wrap your arms
I will never have her ability to flirt with winks and with charms
I will never be your first choice for she took that spot
I will never treat you poorly while pain is all she brought
I will never believe you when you say I’m the one
I will never forget that you and she are not done
I will never fall for sweet nothings when the truth is clear
I will never neglect that while you’re with me you hold her near
I will never be naive and let fact and fiction blur
I will never be yours because I will never be her

KN

Elle Harris Mar 2018

KN

You twist and turn the truth,
While ripping at my youth.
I strongly say "stop"
And you make my head throb.
You call me a sinner
And claim you are a winner.
You boast that I ask for it
And in me grows a pit.

I've never wanted you,
And this I know is true.
But you make my head pound
As you turn facts around.

I tell you not to touch me,
Even though it's just my knee.
I know where it will go,
So keep your hand not even low.
I don’t want your grimy hands
Tracing all over my lands.
Yet, here you go again
Causing another stain.

It's all my fault,
Or so you say.
This is assault.
To you, I'm just prey.
Stop manipulating,
This is too frustrating.
Stop labeling me
As your way to flee.

I am not in the wrong.
It has been you all along.

I just realized how this girl's been manipulating me, and I'm trying to sort out my thoughts.

Memories

Elle Harris Dec 2018

Memories

I can scrub you from my mind
And erase you from my heart
I can delete you from my phone
And keep your name out of sight

But I can't leave us behind
Because you tore me apart
So when I lay in bed alone
I think of us holding on tight

The memories are kind
Bittersweet from the start
But they're in the past and I'm on my own
Trying, praying, I will be alright

Being real, you're a mastermind
Deception is your work of art
And every time you come and atone
I want to give up the fight

Please stop trying to come back. I'm tired of feeling the pain.

#breakup #heartbroken

Memory Lane

Elle Harris Nov 2018

Memory Lane

Black asphalt and deep ditches
Invasive dreams of your kisses
Sleet and tears mix on the ground
This time last year you stuck around
But now you’ve left, without a trace
Memories without a face

#memories #past

Moving On

Elle Harris Nov 2018

Moving On

No more crying alone in my bed
I'm getting you out of my head
No more tears will be shed over you
I will be happy and bid you adieu

There's no reason for me to cry
Because when you said goodbye
You lost the only one who cared for you
Losing me was the worst thing to do

No Tears Left To Cry

#breakup #movingon

personalities

Elle Harris Feb 2018

personalities

I am not one
We hate each other
One is done
And two just wants her mother
One picks up the knife
Two wants to quit
One's destroyed my life
Two's tired of it

Siren #2

Elle Harris May 2019

Siren #2

Every time I start to move on
You try and lure me back in
You’re a siren and I'm drawn
To the water on your skin

I am safe on the land
With a caring man by my side
He’ll keep me on the sand
And try to keep me dried

I try and combat your song
Which promises me wishes
we both know it’s wrong
You'll leave me swimming with the fishes

But I'll wave the land bye
When she drags me down
I don’t want to stay dry
I want to drown

Starting New

Elle Harris Jan 2020

Starting New

I pray my toxic cycle is over
I hope he won’t use me for ***
I pray we’ll stay together ‘til we’re older
I hope he’s not like my ex

but there is no way to know
and that eats me up inside
the more I feel my love grow
the more I fear he’ll leave my side

he seems to be a good man
but my judgment is always wrong
how do I know there's no evil plan
how do I know that we’re lifelong

he’s been honest from the start
he shows love to more than my physique
he compliments me for being smart
he holds me close when I am weak

I guess I have to trust the process
and put my heart back on the line
I just pray that all this progress
will end with him being forever mine

So I've been gone for a hot minute. I got cheated on and was so busy wallowing in self-pity that I didn't post the few poems I wrote. I'm in a healthy relationship now, but I'm so scarred from the past that I'm petrified I'll ruin it. This was me just sorting through my thoughts. I'm currently happier than ever, so I'm back to writing.

#love #fear #scared

The King

Elle Harris Jul 2019

The King

I’m terrified to admit I love you because I fear you won’t feel the same
But you call me “my love” more than you call me my own name
I’m scared that when our hands touch you dont feel anything more
But I’ve felt your heart race as you whispered I’m all you could ask for
I’m afraid I’ll open up to you and you’ll think im too much to handle
But you’ve already trusted me enough to tell me your every scandal
I’m petrified you don’t mean what you say and all the promises are void
But I know how concerned you get when I’m sad, anxious, or annoyed
I’m horrified this trust I’ve built will crumble from cheating or lies
But the sadness in your voice is real during our “goodbyes”
I’m fearful of falling in love because I’m paranoid you’ll leave me
But if I never take the chance, I’ll never know all we can be

#relationship #doubt #love #fear

This Is War

Elle Harris Dec 2020

This Is War

I used to be the epitome of strength
To fight my battles I’d go to any length
I was an army, mighty and fearless
But too many lost battles have left me hopeless

When everyone wants to plunder your city
Maybe it’s time to let it crumble
Yes, we’d call it a pity
But perhaps we need it to be humble

Our forces have been halved
And in our faces enemies laugh
Our sources have been depleted
Soldier after soldier has fled

The army that was full of strength
I’m afraid has reached its length
At this hour I wonder such
How much loss is too much?

I gave too much during the battles, now it appears I'm going to lose the war. I. don't know how to be okay. Wherever I go, destruction follows.

— The End —