What are words for me?
They aren't merely words
Words are like oxygen for my soul
Food for my survival
Fueled by imagination and fed by the heart
They are the only asset i possess
They are the very reason for my existence
Each and everyday they breathe fresh life into me
They stand by me through thick and thin
They inspire me
They comfort me
They console me
They help me get through the tough times
They help me enjoy the good moments
They help me experience the hidden flavours of life
They help me express myself..
...the variety of emotions that i go through
The pain..the agony..the anguish
The euphoria..the insanity..the sensuality..the hatred..the anger..the love
..i have this strong urge to express it all
Each and everyday of my life i undertake a new journey with words
Travelling to unknown places
Discovering new sides of me
There are days when they kinda' desert me
May be they get upset with me
And i must say on those days i feel so suffocated and depressed
I feel like a lost traveller
But later they return to me
Perhaps they feel sympathetic towards me
For they know that i have no one save for them
And all is well again
Dear words...what would i do without you?
You mean everything to me
You are my universe
You are my lifeline
I hope to make it with you till the end of time
Till death do us part

I don't want to be someone's carnal need
I long to be someone's soul desire
Someone who loves and accepts every bit of me
And sets my soul on fire
Someone who genuinely cares for me
And wants to be with me
Someone who is willing to see things
The way i see
Someone who makes an effort to listen to me and understand me
Someone who makes me forget my troubles
Someone who makes me feel like i matter
Someone who is willing to walk with me till the end of time
And stand by through every thick and thin
I don't know if i ever will find such a person
But i hope to someday

A smile even if it's a fake one is the best reaction you can give to the problems life throws in front of you..don't let problems deter or depress you...stay optimistic and fight it out...think of it as like this...'so,for many days i was going through a good phase...now i'm just going through a bad time...no problem..i just need to stay patient and work out a solution..no need to panic or get sad...it will be over soon and life will be bright again.'

I'm hurting
I don't show it-I smile sunshines at you
I laugh but inside I'm hurting so bad
I look at your smiling face, hear your laughter, I smell your scent and imagine her doing the same and
I'm hurting
I hear your promises, your I love you's, your forevers and
I'm hurting
I know that once you looked at her the same way you look at me, that the things you do with me and the way you kiss me and by God
I'm hurting
Knowing you've discovered the unknown with her, that your writings and knowledge is from her, that at one point you gave her your heart so easily, that I'm just second
I'm hurting
that one day you can let go of me as easily as you let go of her, that one day you'll want to run back to her because she's given you more than I ever could
My insides being ripped apart, my throat shut, my eyes pouring
I'm hurting
Because second place still doesn't win
And that how I know I love you, although now I'm not even sure what love is

My sister asked how I got my scars
That run half the length of my lower left arm
Casually, almost offhand, I asked her why
"If I had cuts like that I'd cry"

"Well little sister, perhaps it's best
If I lay your mind to rest
And say that I was not okay during this time
And we should focus on the present rather than what is behind"

She was satisfied with this, but I was not
My heart burst so hard, like I was shot
I want to protect her from this torturous truth
That "I was not okay" and was tempted to try the noose

More like the knife, I even had a plan
Yet I'm better now, I don't understand
Just like my little sister, things confuse me
Like what's in my head and what is reality

I stalked along an endless maze
Of hallways, grim and green,
Where sterile wards of curtained bays
Masked sickness with a screen.
The coloured lines upon the floor
Served as my silent guide,
And led me to a torture room
Where nightmares preyed inside.

Upon a crisply cornered bed
With sheets up to your chest,
A knot of vein-pumped fluids fed
To keep your heart from rest;
Your eyes were closed and peaceful,
And all pain gone from your brow.
You've never looked more beautiful
Than how you do right now.

I fiddled with the little card
You gifted when we met,
Not knowing then 't would too hard,
Wishing I could forget
A promise made in youthful bliss
When plans were bold and grand,
And giving you one farewell kiss
I let go of your hand.

I never asked to know her name
But if we ever met
I'm sure I'd know her all the same
And still would not regret
The day that life was cruel to us
And tore our world apart,
Yet granted life to her because
You gifted her your heart.

A word often synonymous with depression. Are those lonely, depressed? Or are those depressed, lonely? It's the classic which came first? the chicken or egg question. Am I depressed because I'm lonely? Or am I lonely because I'm depressed?