I've been meaning to write you, but my words are all too stuck in their ways. They wish to be spoken and long to be felt, but to be honest they all lack virtue. All they can do now is hurt you.

Drenched in dopamine
These words swim within
Gasping for air  
They plead for solace
In the jungle of thought  
They inhale agony
And exhale apathy  
They are jaded implicitly
These words
I secretly imprisoned
Still inconvenience me
They ******* my heart
Despite their innocence
I can not trust them
Hence my silence
Hence the look in my eyes
My stomach was weak
I saw novelty in every lie
But to be honest  
I been meaning to ask
Is it too late for us?

that that swells up the sky with clouds
pregnant with tears to drop
on me

what might come a day from now
a torrent or drought
days on end

alone in a forest lost
I know that man is at a
whim to the winds

and power of nature
no one can ever predict
nor control;

their situation to a
day or pin on their chest a
medal of victory

over her and whimsy
and fate though we try
surprise

may be waiting
just outside a trillion dollar vault
we try

to hide our fortunes behind,
so I will
be kind, and say

Thank you, wind
and seas, and gods of fate
to be

careful,
just in case.

After the bombing

When you walk through the



rubble of the theatre




see the dancers
splayed corpses


still in costume

stained with blood


frozen forever                                                                   a
                                    in


graceful
                        pirouette

An old phrase
once adressed to the misfits
now inmortalized
for its dreams I get to pay
and suffer the pain
of what reality
from me has taken away

I used to dream
up high and higher still
I used to believe in a chance
in a change to be and become

But as time passed by
and time wore me off
Tired I got
no strenght to have
left in me

And I got lonely
Not only weak
but also vulnerably
cold and black
and blue and white

Cause too many failures
No voice to encourage you
No hand to help you
Stand in your own feet
May not be a good reason
for complete defeat
but for loss of hope
of course it is
and for loss of dreams...

The stars are falling off my ceiling.

I'm paying bills,
Buying college books,
Saving for a car,

And the stars are falling off my ceiling.

My calendar is full
Marked with appointments
And work hours

And the stars are falling off my ceiling.

My friends are getting married,
Having children,
And buying houses,

And the stars are falling off my ceiling.

Like the child
In my heart
Is emaciating,

I'm twenty years old,
And the stars are falling off my ceiling.

I'll have regrets
the day I die
I'll have unanswered questions
that around me fly
I never went up to the moon
I never saw Napoleon's tomb
I never crossed the oceans deep
Nor stood on top of Himalaya's peak
I never thought we'd say goodbye
but time just slipped on by
And now I sit here feeling sad
wondering if life has me had

It doesn't matter anymore
The memories's weight
I can pull no more
I'll just lay down and die
and to this world I'll say goodbye
Then as I walk into the light
I will be full of fear and fright
But it will all be okay
Happens to us all on any given day

Sometimes when I look in the mirror
I feel like I am not what I see
The whole world might run in terror
If they were to truly see me

See, all I do is live in this shell
This isn't who I really am
I only need a dark place to dwell
This show I give is just a sham

I'm not a lump of organs and flesh
That eats and walks and ***** in breath
With this body, I can't seem to mesh
Maybe that's why I do not fear death

In my conscious mind is where I live
Trapped here inside my aching skull
If you would see what I have to give
I may no longer seem so dull

It's not my brain that's the hurricane
It's only me, a parasite
Here inside this host of cellophane
Always in invisible plight

I am but willing prey to the wiles of the full grown moon.
She guards the night sky...
While I patrol these grounds...
Grieving over the seconds that have gone too soon.

I am a vessel... all emptied and barren.
what once was full,
now echoes faint
the glories of yesteryears.
Afloat still, adrift upon the currents... aimless and sullen.

I am a ghost... haunting no one but my own.
Immortalised...
Anchored...
to a body of mist and haze...
Occupying this space where worthy wind had once blown...

I am a beggar offering nothing but my open palms.
Hope etched tight
into my knackered knuckles
and calloused digits.
Please... take them in yours...
soothe them...
grant me your touch, your coveted balm.