I watched
As you held on with every breath
I laughed
When you had nothing left
I smiled
At every mistake you made
I stopped
When I saw that I was unsafe
I saw
The thing that hurt you beyond belief
I felt
The blade that cut you so **** deep
I cried                                            
For all the same reasons
I stayed    
When you would've made the choice to leave...

Words fill the spaces you dont.
Black ink on a white page prove opposites attract
             And I fear we're too similar
   The familiarity causes too much comfort

Paranoia is a fine art

         But my confidence dries the inkwell in which you sit
      And now you're choking on my fumes
  Drowning in the silence of my non ambition
        I know you'll die,
   *But words will fill the spaces you don't.

life's funny isn't it?
I'll compare it to a VCR
when the good times are rolling
it's stuck in fast forward
but when the pain sets it's stuck on slo-mo
It's like sometimes life can be like a yoyo
Or if you're like me, sometimes you'll be thrown out of the familiar
like Dorothy and Toto

Or when your heart breaks and your earth quakes and when you fall in love just looking at them gives you the shakes
Or when someone betrays you you respond by throwing shade
like a looming tree in the Florida everglades

basically what I've learned is take life once a day everyday
not every day will leave you in ecstasy but the good comes with the bad
just keep on living, and when I'm gone don't be sad

Not ready to talk
So I keep
Walking into walls
That are too tough to fall
So they just wobble then stall
And they seem so tall
The suns just a memory
This winter is a death sentence
And everyone's dead to me
Just because I remember what has been said to me
Doesn't mean I have to scratch the words in my skin
I don't feel the wind
Because my walls block me in
And while the windows rattle
The walls won't bend

This isn't home.

Just because of an area code
Home is in the eyes that stare at these structures and see no demise besides acting surprised when they eat me alive
When I knew all along
Along for the ride
A **** or a pipe a priority
Above all
The majority **** y'all over anyway
So gimme good *** bud in plenty jays
And let my *** incinerate
No one to help inside this trap of myself
These walls become skin
When contemplating them

This isn't home.

Just because of an area code
Home is in the eyes that stare at these structures and see no demise
Just a task to adapt to
Blast through
And never come back to
Home is behind my eyes
Ones that don't need to know the what's or the why's
Or the length or the size
Just to get by
Ones that know I don't need to get high to see beyond these walls to know

*This isn't home.

Morning is a cold metal gun placed to my temple
Time is a trickle of blood I won't remember