i understand it now
when they say falling in love.
for me, it was more of a
plunge from a building
onto the bustling street.

it was not intentional,
i did not have plans to love you.
but that's the funny thing.
who really plans to jump
from a buidling
onto a distant street
without planning to feel pain
and
then
nothing?

you caught my eye
  you made me like you
    you made me fall in love with you
      you took my love as a simple perk of life
        you used me and beat me down
          you robbed me of love for anyone else or myself
            you killed the happy person inside of me
              you made me numb inside
                you made me feel like i deserved nothing but sadness
                  you may not love me anymore but i certainly still do
                    i still love you
                      i know it's not healthy for me to love you
                        i know i need to stop
                          i know but i can't
                            i can't
                          i can'
                        i can
                       i ca
                      i c
                    i

You can ignore me,
but remember that you once loved me.
Yes, it hurts me sometimes,
but then I remember what you've done.
Taking screenshots of my loyal love,
and making fun of me for my feelings.
Thinking my heart was just a pawn,
a pawn in a board game that you'll forget about.
This bitterness against you isn't me being a crazy ex girlfriend,
it's me being human and having feelings.
I just don't understand how you could tell me that you loved me,
but leave me for the girl whom you told me you couldn't stand,
and do this all in one day.

Month one gave me the butterflies
Love songs were relevant
Soft words were exchanged, not cowardly lies
I was petrified to lose you.

Month two was more comfortable.
Love songs were a hit or miss
We spoke with only loving voices
I was petrified to lose you.

Month three, I became fully comfortable, you became distracted
Love songs were my favorite, but they were your enemy
I spoke with loving voices, you didn't speak at all
I was skeptical

Month four, I was aware of everything
Love songs were just songs
We only talked over text
I knew what was going to happen

Month five, I was just arm candy so you didn't look like a loser
Love songs made me sick
I talked, you lied
I didn't face the facts

Month six, I let you go
Love songs were never sang or played
I deleted your number
I'm confused without you

Month seven, you came back with a "You Up?" text
I only played sad songs
I looked at my phone with sorrow
You broke me

Love is a slippery *****, isn't it?
Five months, that's all
You showed me love
And you showed me heartbreak
Should I thank you for that?