As far as I remember
I remember - I was three
wake up, blow the candles
that's my first memory.
Didn't like to go outside
stayed at home, watched TV.
Had a couple childhood friends
now I barely even see.
Kindergarten, met a guy
probably my first true friend
now that guy can go to hell
not that I believe in it.
Tasted domestic abuse
from my dad's first hand
slapped so hard, my nose bled
he never hit me again.
Lost my innocence at six
seeing a decapitated cat
felt disgusted, made me sick
could do nothing and just sat.
Then my brother grew up
and he called me fat and ugly
wanted me to be like him
so he hit me quite frequently.
Wanted me to be a man
but he always held back
atleast that's what he said,
hence the bruises that I had.
Started going to school
racism flew all around
tried to be a good boy,
I was spat on with a crowd.
Decided to **** myself
at the early age of ten
knew that others had it worse,
but that added to the pain.
Had a couple childhood idols
I was even a fanatic,
but they made for some good times
and they weren't so traumatic.
Had a couple of close friends
that I still talk to this date,
but we don't meet up so often
as we used to, back in the day.
Middle school, had to move
said goodbye to all my friends
and the shock made me confused
with the chills that it still sends.
And my brother reached his peak
we would get in constant fights
in which I would always lose
so I cried alone at nights.
But I had my first crush
it was good, for a while.
Then I had to move again
to the highschool living style.
My brother graduated
and my parents went back home.
I was left with my grandparents,
but was mostly all alone.
In a cozy, rainy day
I decided to lose weight,
and have kept my promise since
never broke it like a saint.
Maybe that made me the man
that my brother always wanted,
though I don't care either way
it was my wish that I granted.
Found some interesting new hobbies
one of them was surely writing.
Through the sorrow and the pain
I looked up and kept on fighting.
Had to break my heart three times
just to put it in the freezer.
But it feels that even that
was a short glimpse of the teaser.
To be clear, I'll never want
anybody's empathy.
I walk the path that I have chosen
to a strong and better me.
And that's just the way it goes
life, with all it's ups and downs.
This here was my life story,
up until now...
Oh boy, a long one.