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sitting here crying
nothing to do
no one around
to hear my screams
as my heart longs
for some good music
my hands wish
for something to hold
my body trembles
as i await
the end of this roaring
noise in my head
telling me to quit
what i have never started
 Feb 2015 Courtney Holcomb
Xyns
Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
be

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe floating junk will do just fine
the jets have sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
How can I keep up this breathing

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

*LET THE HURRICANE SET IN MOTION
Into The Ocean
When, as the garish day is done,
Heaven burns with the descended sun,
  'Tis passing sweet to mark,
Amid that flush of crimson light,
The new moon's modest bow grow bright,
  As earth and sky grow dark.

Few are the hearts too cold to feel
A thrill of gladness o'er them steal,
  When first the wandering eye
Sees faintly, in the evening blaze,
That glimmering curve of tender rays
  Just planted in the sky.

The sight of that young crescent brings
Thoughts of all fair and youthful things
  The hopes of early years;
And childhood's purity and grace,
And joys that like a rainbow chase
  The passing shower of tears.

The captive yields him to the dream
Of freedom, when that ****** beam
  Comes out upon the air:
And painfully the sick man tries
To fix his dim and burning eyes
  On the soft promise there.

Most welcome to the lover's sight,
Glitters that pure, emerging light;
  For prattling poets say,
That sweetest is the lovers' walk,
And tenderest is their murmured talk,
  Beneath its gentle ray.

And there do graver men behold
A type of errors, loved of old,
  Forsaken and forgiven;
And thoughts and wishes not of earth,
Just opening in their early birth,
  Like that new light in heaven.
You’ve got me strapped to this bed

I feel my mind leaving my head

I’m close to being dead

I can feel the needle break deep inside of my veins

They tell me I’m insane

But they made me that way

Every day it’s the same old thing

Nothing is what it seems

I swear I’m going crazy

I feel so hazy

There are so many needles in my arm

They said they would do no harm

But look at me and my insanity
The pain in her eyes won't subside
She fell in love with the devil
and chose to believe all his lies

She takes a sharp blade to her thighs
Black skinny jeans act as a mask
for slits on her wrists will not hide

She feels empty as her soul cries
Though her dark makeup will not run
because her pink cheeks remain dry

She can't stop asking herself why
He held a photo of a heart
but lacked a beating one inside

Now she wishes him a long life
One day he'll see what he gave up
and she'll walk past with her head high
Love lives within you,
Its your job to accept it.
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