I am not good.
I am not good
at this thing
- we call it Life.

I wish I could
stop dreaming
this big.
But I shall not.

I wish I could
explore the souls
of all who exist(ed).
But I can not.

I wish I could
make you out
of clay and feathers.
But I will not.

For I am a dreamer of impossibilities.
and I am merely one natural girl.
For you are one of my improbabilities,
and there you are
- my untainted pearl;
my gift from an invaded world.

So, I may not be good,
but I feel that is better.

His eyes were closed.
His lips were on mine.

In that moment
I was completely still.

Then they started creeping in.
His demons explored my soul.

I could feel his madness,
and I could taste his sadness;
that is when
I fell in love.

You and I set my heart alight.

Like the fire we play with when you smoke.

Like the fire around which I felt I could kiss you forever.

Like the fire our lips started the first time yours met mine.

Like the fire of all those memories

...that's what's happening in my heart each time your eyes meet mine.

the moment i looked into your eyes,
i could see the sadness.
it was deep and raw.
it was indicative of all your madness.

i dreamed of healing your pain;
of being your saving grace.
I dreamed of holding you close
-blissful in sweet repose.

I imagined us laughing and kissing,
snuggling and reading,
crying and struggling.
i thought of all of this

the moment that I looked into your eyes.

He smelled sweet -brandy and some other liquor.
He spoke words I wanted to hear,
with his fingers crossed in his mind,
while he intertwined his hands in mine…
It was everything I ever wanted,
but everything I was not going to get.
He was as sickly sweet as he smelled,
and I know now that I had to know then
that a breath of brandy
will never be the kiss you wanted.

Sixty
the months we shared.

Twenty-seven
the day I first saw you.

Thirteen
our birthdays tied us together.

Seven
days to know that I love you.

Two
months I waited for you to say it first.

One
regret: not letting go sooner.

Appreciate her
and what you have.
Just love her.
Words to live by.

It took me
breakingtearingsmashing
my whole world
for you to read a book.

You never loved me
not like I do you.

Now I have realised
that to pursue you
is not what I want
anymore.

If only you loved me
like I do you.