I  can fake a smile
With the best of them
And my best friend
Drove up the coast for miles

Just to see that tree
That grew so tall
It could never fall
But it'll never be free

From its roots reaching deep
But you said that we could try
And live our lives
Above the clouds and the sea

If only
We could wash up
And love could be enough
Love wouldn't be so lonely

It was like a dream,
only it wasn't.
It was a reality,
all wrapped up in fantasy.
It was a fantastic exploration,
of what if.
It was a fearsome adventure,
only it didn't last.

There was a terrible storm,
then silence.
there were people everywhere,
yet no one felt close to me.
there was a strange frustration, and anger inside me,
yet on the outside I felt as calm as could be.
there were thick strings attached, holding me,
yet I felt too free.

When there should have been happiness,
I was sad.
When joy and fulfillment came,
I was empty and longing.
When God answered my prays,
I wondered why the others were left unanswered.
When I closed my eyes to sleep,
I wondered if the tears would ever stop.
When I breathed,
I wondered if each pull and push of air was worth suffering life.

Then I tried faith,
But it wouldn't stick
Then it was hardwork, and reclusiveness,
it was empty and heartbreaking.
Then I tried reason and logic,
and it broke my spirit.
Then I tried to love myself, but it hurt,
because love always hurts.

I woke up from my dream that wasn't a dream,
from the reality wrapped up in fantasy.
I was slapped with the world,
because it tried to fit in me,
as did all the people
i love.
When i woke i realized,
I couldn't take them, the world, and me.
There was only room for two.
One had to be me.
The other.....
was a tough choice.

I chose the world,
It hurt...

Life is not hateful. Nature is.

A person can't make It happen so
he acts as a shark and moves without remorse, though
a mere ten second's contemplation
and emotional, intellectual understanding
of the things he, without sorrow, ignites in his wake,
would be enough to force his hand to
tie that well deserved noose and slip it around
his slimy neck and hang himself dead.
He, much like a snake, is deaf to the
screams of those he has bitten, and blind
to the ruin behind him. His one track mind -
his selfish mind - which blocks out all that his nature doesn't wish
for him
to acknowledge - does
for him
what is convenient
for him.
Eliminates the reality
for him.
That is his nature's wish.