It was you
Who embodied brokenness
So long ago
When my skin was soft and pale,
Lineless as the summer sky.
Clear eyed, then,
In everything but you.

Tonight it is the same
I know your name
Your number by heart -
Now so scarred it
hardly bears the beatings
Of that forgotten mottled sweetness.

And you’re still broken
And I am healed,
healing.

We catch up, old friends.
Flowers blossoming in the wreckage
Of a felled tree.

Oh, to again be nineteen.

Deep darkness, despair.
How could you know, you’re not there?
Empty mind I crave,
But constant chatter takes me to the grave.

Fleeing, running; working, studying, drugs, and stuff,
Distractions from revelation; I am enough.
Progress is prized; the final nail,
We need true clarity; the holy grail.

Opening out and up to the mystery unknown,
Here, flourishing can become our own.
Insights of the true us,
Found when there’s nothing, no sound, no ***...

Embracing loneliness can be the pearl sought,
Moving away from things ought,
Turning to the unknown,
Is where true dreams are sewn.

It is lighter outside now,
Rather than the tar-dark
Of the night.
Cars are streaming past;
Their swoosh is like white-noise,
In the early morn.

Things are relatively static
Right now,
Until then busy-ness of the day
Commanders,
Then colour-blinds
All the senses.

Is writing poetry like my fidget toy?
A warm bath or a workout,
Still-ing, stalling and styling
My next proposition.

As the days slip 
Into chill-filled air,
The watermelon dayz
They seem long gone.
Even with the degrees
Still in the moderate thirties,
I long for those hot, stuffy days
Where we twirled our towels
On our heads and smiled, seed-filled,
And none could distinguish where
Sweet and drippy watermelon grins
Started, and the sweat and slippery long ended.

The birds tell a story,
Of what we humans do.
Their chirps and their tweets,
Are confirmation of who and what we knew.

Though we may not see
It, their eyes scan the skies.
And other varieties capture
our uncommunicated idiosyncracies.

The birds in the sky,
Test the temperature of our times.
They hold our secrets,
And much more importantly, our lies.

And so shall I.

I did not rise.
I unburied.

Fingernail by fingernail,
from beneath the collapsed arches of who I thought I was.

There was no anthem.
Only the slow recognition
that the sky still ached for me,
even after I forgot how to look up.

And there—
in the first true clearing,
where the ashes no longer smoked but simply were—
stood a figure.

Not a savior.
Not a siren.
Not a cure.

A mirror, carried in human hands.
A lighthouse, burning not with rescue, but with recognition.

She.

She did not find me.
I found myself,
and there she was—
already waiting.

Not as prize,
but as witness.
Not to my ruin,
but to the slow architecture
of something holy rising from it.

She touched my hand, once.
Lightly.
And the earth did not tremble.
I did not fall.

Instead, the bones beneath my skin hummed
with the strange, quiet music
of being known—and still free.

I realized then:
I had not been climbing out of the past to reach her.
I had been climbing to reach myself.

She simply stood at the gates,
smiling like someone who had seen the stars rebuild themselves before.

Pilcrow, the Blind P,
once said,

"Allow me, ma'am/sir,
  for it looks like
  you could use a break.
  Besides, Hedera is hard
  and annoying, so full of herself,
  and up to her neck in ivy."

That was a Snark.
But who could tell?
Simply forgot to point it out.
Guess it's better to
leave things unsaid.

In the end
there's only enough
room for the Asterism.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.

No one knows your pain.
No one truly understands
What you go through!
Some claim to know your heart
But no, they never do!
They don’t even know how it beats
How it breaks
How it simply exists!!

They say they’re there-
Always and forever!
To calm your mind
To ease your thoughts!!
But they are the ones
Who bring in more pain
Than you ever had.
You’re left to carry it alone
While they turn away !!

And in the end, it is only you
Left behind…With your sorrows
And with your pain
Just doubled!!!

Alcohol.
And train schedules.
A commuter's tightrope.
The last stop, Hpnotiq.
Where it rains sadness.
Where they're numb
To the moment of inertia.
Preferring instead to
Live on the rim.