One pulls me down in a sea of tenderness
safe gentle lapping waves of love and comfort
so soothing like a warm summer pond in the south
He is my anchor

The other loves me like a wild forbidden passionate rush
an all consuming type of love, making the world disappear
clinging to a life raft in a turbulent sea
He is my storm

Enticing waters with the luminous waves that can tempt the dead from their bed. My soul longs for both. I cannot drift off to peaceful sleep until the waves of desire find their sweet release. A wondrous storm of love in a turbulent sea or a steadfast anchor that has taken hold on a part of me

little little carmen
so immodest without a care
dancing with that red dress on
and singing awful songs

little little carmen
flitting back and forth
so girlish in the midst of boys
so manly among girls

little little carmen
you're so quick to fill your head
with nasty jokes and ***** thoughts
I wish you'd show a little shame

little little carmen
don't say a single word
they'll tell you you have issues
and to "keep those ****** legs closed"

little little carmen
you are the best-est of them all
I loved you for how crude you were
how you brought me ungodly thrills

little little carmen
tell me what it is you want
you are the best, yes I adore
my blood red, snow white *****

little little carmen
all wrapped up in her head
got them wrapped around her finger
but she had never felt more dread

little little carmen
you're so full of life and worldly light
I never knew why you reeked of death
while you made love to the devil every night

lovely lovely carmen
never spoke of light at the end of the tunnel
you were always hovering there
I'll throw your ashes into the air

lovely lovely carmen
I learned this dance from you
your ashes look like blackened snow
as sullied as you were

lovely lovely carmen
I've memorized your song
I'll sing this tune as loud as you
they whisper *carmen never dies

Whispered words woven in silk tongue,
Each one softly suffocated and strung.
What was the penalty as each swung
My thoughts were swaying as if hung.

Why would spoken thoughts bleed,
Each one grew inside roots of a ****.
I listened to hear if flowers would seed
But like poison you gladly did  feed.

Why would love turn from us to sour
Could I never regain that blossoming flower
These words scoured my heart in this final hour
But broken shards did all but fall in a tainted shower

IF tears could heal pain
IF sympathy could stitch wound
IF prayers could bring back life
How different the definition of living would be then

the ghost of the moon,
a sky of dark oaks,
its blacks deep cauldrons
breaking like twigs underfoot
its blacks tragic horizons
where the clouds stretch and dissolve.

Not for me
does the sun burn,
not for me
does the earth turn,
not for me
do the waters flow,
not for me
does the moon glow.
not for me
do the birds sing,
not for me
do the birds not sing.
We are not
a family of loved ones,
we are not
companions in hate either,
we are just here now,
may be living till then
may be not.

It’s no beauty nor ugliness,
neither chaos nor finesse.
We’re in a maze,
trying to figure out,
what’s it all about.
Some say accident,
some say miracle,
some say a hole,
some say the pinnacle.

It isn’t a story
but an act extempore,
some act slavish,
some act free.

Until we figure it out,
Let us love each other all out.
Let us hold our warmth
in our embraces,
Soothe me when
my heart races.

Even if I never figure it out,
I’d know what love is about,
You could become my universe,
And I’d soothe myself knowing you,
If I ever could.

I be for you,
You be for me,
Let us love each other all out,
Even if we don’t figure it out.

Let us love each other
So that a few more verses are born
To crawl majestically on the thorn
Of the fear to lose the one you love
To finally get bruised and scattered
Letter by letter
Fetter by fetter,
falling apart and joining the letters of past
which fell like these long time back,
waiting for some more to fall in the future.

Scared you seem,
I wanted you to be,
So you love me
and never leave,
and spare my verses,
my letters.

Promise me you won’t be
like a sun or a moon to me,
I’ve told you my heart,
Don’t tear it apart.
But if you ever do that,
Do it like an art,
Be delicate,
Pierce me with a barbule,
The wound be like a mark,
A mark of my love,
And of your move so dark.

maybe I don't understand
the things that are at hand
but what is your goal?
your personality's as black as coal

I felt it in my gut
that this whole thing was going to rot
you left me standing there
in a place I couldn't bear

but who am I to judge
we're not in a court of justice
I don't have a gavel to declare you guilty
to prove to others such false humility

maybe God is just testing my patience
making me remember all of His faithfulness
my sufferings are yet to end
but my scars remained for God to mend

I have excess love in my heart, but nobody to give it to.
I wish to spend my time adoring and admiring someone.
I want to be able to show my true self to one who won't judge.
I want to love.