My refuge--
The world is a blur of
Colorless colors,
A kaleidoscope of what never was.
Gray has even ceased to exist.

My refuge--
I never want to be left alone,
But that's the only way I can survive.
People aren't always human,
And they destroy whatever they touch.

My refuge--
Things are never easy,
The things should be perfect now.
Whatever I try
I can't ever do.

My refuge--
A peaceful darkness surrounds.
I would rather be here than
In the kaleidoscope.
The world makes me dizzy.

My refuge--
I'm stuck in the cold again.
Crying,
Nothing is there to reach out to.
Hand holds are too slippery.

My refuge--
I am just a problem.
A horrible human,
An ugly being.
I don't mean to make them fight.

My refuge--
It's all my fault.
I can't do things right,
I will never be good.
Silence now arrests.

My refuge--
Protect me like you always do,
Calm the storm and
Give me strength
To face the world again.

Thank you--
My refuge.

It's kind of hard to explain
The feeling you are
Trapped
In a black hole
With nowhere to go and
Seemingly no one to pull you out.
Yet others are there,
Testing their strength in the great current,
Alone in their endeavors,
Pretending they can help you,
But can't give a reason why they would.

Liars--
They create this swirling black current--
A hole in this heart.
The beat is becoming irregular
As I don't know how to trust.
It pulls me closer,
Surrendering to the depth of pain:
I've been here too long to escape.
I could become one of them--
Become the current.

Give me a reason why I shouldn't.

.
Fire on water,
The hearts smoke
And low rain of her eyes,
What wry lashing they gave,
The currency of night's tender,
My fare to the wandering lands
And makeshift rounds of munitions  
Slice and plosive gaze.

Take your seat
Your love gifted me thousand buckets of memories all are smeared with tears
Drink the caffeine-tears I shed for you
I want to know the feelings of lacerating me that you nourish in your heart,
I am trapped in your love
Like a fly trapped in a spider’s web
If you are not a picaroon, if you are not a sorceress,
If you are not a heart breaker, if you are not the heart snatcher
If you are not the birth giver of my poetry, if you are not my chimera
Reason of my all phantasm, if you are not an oath breaker
Then you are not my woman.
For you my poems are the best caffeine that you might ever have….

I feel like I've been up all night,
But it's not even 3 am.
You promised things would change,
But secrets are too hard to keep from me,
The truth cuts deep:
I know it never will.

Restlessness,
Sleepless tonight...