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 Aug 2014
Camellia-Japonica
Little girl born with auburn curls
Little girl born with freckles and blue eyes
Little girl born with a smile so inviting
Little girl born to be bundled in pink.

Little girl got older
Little girl got bolder
Little girl got colder
Little girl realised she hated pink.

Little girl became a teen
Little girl became a terror
Little girl drove her mama to drink
Little girl drove her daddy to leave.

Little girl was known in town as a bad seed
Little girl decided that suited her fine, carried on drinking her wine
Little girl grew up, now a little woman
Little woman made mistakes, she never baked a cake!

Little woman with the auburn curls and inviting smile
came home early one day, saw you holding her so tight
that she knew what she had to do.
When it was done she spun with glee, caught sight of herself in red.
Smiled, at herself and thought: "if only you hadn't bundled me in pink".
© JLB
07/08/2014
13:43 BST
 Aug 2014
Poetic T
Tears of red fell upon the ground
The clouds white, pure as snow,
A sky once blue had faded to black
But still the rain fell,
For if it fell upon the flesh
Pain,
Decay,
Infestation,
It corrupted what was touched
Life was death,
What once was pure
Now darkness filled that hole,
Plants once green
Now tainted white
To touch a leaf once soft,
Twisted,
Defiled,
Infected,
Now less life, to touch but dust
A full tree of white now but decayed
Blown in the wind turned white to black,
It fell from the heavens
Once pure, the giver of life
But now the red fell from above
Clouds so pure,
But they bleed the life down below,
What once gave
Now takes all that was life,
Now only darkness and decay
Is above as well as below.
 Aug 2014
Stevie Ray
HEY!!!
WHAT THE F*!!
Who are you?
.....
"I'm your muthafuckin' conscience" - Eminem
......
No! You're not..
Alien thoughts invade my mind
Peer within my soul
and what once was beautifully blue
is now a darkened sky
poisoned, negative thoughts
poised to strike
Massacre in my temple
no more praying..
no peace
I was forced to leave
Now he is me
and I.. a remnant
a distant memory
A fragment
From someone
who never really know
who he was
untill the day the invasion came
 Aug 2014
Poetic T
The enemy I cant catch
For its in my head
It taunts me from within
Whispers songs in my ears
Just do it
Just do it
End The torment, you'll never win
I wish not to listen,
But like a song from early morning
This song is hypnotic stuck in my head
How do I fight that which I do not see
Ring a ring a rosy
I want you dead
A tissue,
A tissue,
Put the gun in your mouth
!!BANG!!!
Your worm food now your dead,
The voice is my enemy
I just want to smash in my head
I have an Internal struggle
Its within my mind its not
Cool or fun
This enemy wants to destroy me from within.
 Aug 2014
Camellia-Japonica
Those days where cutting off your nose to spite your face
is preferable to the fake smile?
The inane chat?
The constant hum of banality?
The pretence that all in the garden is rosy?
The surrounding of people you would cheerfully ****?

Where the slightest word sends you spiralling?
Where even "friends" drive you screaming for the hills?
Where silence is all you want, need, crave?
Where were it possible you'd scream not talk?
Where you'd get your bucket of regrets, and throw them to the wind?
Today is that day for me.
© JLB
03/08/2014
15:39 BST
Small boy huddled in a corner

He will never question why

He did not dishonour his father

But that did not stop the black eye



Little baby all battered and beaten

Can not hide away being bruised

Mother can not stop her drinking

But the baby should not be abused



Young girl is daddys' pride and joy

She worships him, no one can know

Makes her protect his little secret

Does not listen when she says no



I look down, crying tears in the dust

In that dust my tears glisten

Knowing that children do not deserve this

Hoping, out there, people will listen
 Jul 2014
Poetic T
You were like a cigarette,
I breathed you in,
But you left a putrid taste in my mouth,
So I never inhaled you again..
 Jul 2014
Camellia-Japonica
Every Sunday without fail,
my father would set about getting us on the
family visiting trail.
A picnic was packed, along with our macs,
(Just in case of the rain) and into the car
we were packed.
A beautiful drive through winding roads,
over a bridge that made your tummy lurch,
onwards, to the Pen-y-Fal psychiatric hospital.

The Tudor Gothic style hospital loomed large to a
child in a car. Like a silent waiting beast from afar.
A Charming gathering of gables and chimneys,
disguised the interior of quite simply "the madhouse".
Set in grounds of 75 acres, patients played bowls, cricket,
and croquet. I thought the people and the grounds magical.
There was this secret place with adult children,
smiling, and talking to the trees, knowing of fairies,
I never heard their pleas.

As I grew older, I grew bolder, the same Sunday jaunt,
to our familial haunt, but now I was an explorer.
I was allowed in. In to the centre of the Gothic beast.
Green tiled, with brown heavy doors, antiseptic smell
that clung to every pore and cell of you. Stark walls,
scrubbed nurses, white coated Doctors and thuggish orderlies.
And after your eyes took in those sights, your nose that smell,
the noise crashed into you. Moans, cries, wails and pleas.
The sound of a thousand lost minds.

My aunt was one of the lost.
She never went home again.
She never visited her children.
She never visited her eleven siblings.
She stayed, stayed with her friend Pearl.
Who once told me I had Vivienne Leigh eyes.
She stayed with the randy Italian, the piano player,
the Downs people given to that 'hospital', that smell, that Hell.
She was in the belly of the beast.*

The Grade II Listed Building has been converted into luxury accommodation now, but would you sleep there?
© JLB
25/07/2014
1851-1996
12 initial wards
210 initial inmates
1881-83 an epileptic ward was built
Between 1851 and 1950 over 3,000 patients died at the hospital.
Pen-y-Fal Hospital it held up to 1,170 patients at its peak.
 Jul 2014
Poetic T
Signs Start to show
*U
nder the pressure
   I cant hold on
     Cant release these fears
   I feel broken once again
Don't want to let go
Ending will bring peace my emptiness shows.
 Jul 2014
Poetic T
Never hearing my screams
I drown them in water,
Consuming the pain
Seeing the noise turn to pictures
I want to drown them, release all this pain
Expel the air of trauma,
In to the water,
Hold it down,
Till its died
No matter how many times
I will drown this pain in the water
Never heard, for the water dilutes my screams,
My pain is never listened upon as its drowned out of my life
 Jul 2014
Poetic T
I'm going, going gone,
My mind just left the room
Where the hell has my senses gone,
I see things different than before
My head screams out,
So many voices, before there was me
Now each shouting,
Different, like a separate person
Knocking loudly on my minds door
Mayo,
Ketchup,
Brown sauce,
Not what I see anymore,
*****,
Blood,
Feces,
I feel like crying, do I see loved ones
Not anymore, Flesh bags
Just meat on the bone,
I cant handle this anymore, I'm losing it
lost it, how far can  I fall.
My eyes  a window to my soul,
Its cracking soon to shatter where do I go
My mind is my hiding place, but compromised
Your losing our mind,
Which one said that, which voice uses my voice
I have to get a grip shut each voice
Behind a door,
lock it,
Throw away the key
Let only my voice be the one heard only,
It took time, but I sealed the cracks
I started to see things as I once did before.
Calm for know, I must keep my mind in  control,
Or next time it may be lost
I'll be the one lost the others in control.
 Jul 2014
Poetic T
Tag your it, as they fall to the ground
They run for cover,
Any place to hide, not to be found,
Tag your it,
Screams heard all around,
Peering slowly around
As but by a hair, a body hits the ground,
Tag your it
They lie motionless tagged.
Blood drips warm from a cold mouth,
The tag still sticking out.
This game of fun, with ****** in mind
Are you the strongest to survive,
Running with tag in hand
You tag those around
Body count rising,
Less and less to tags to be had.
Who will escape the tag, left standing
As all those fall cold to the ground,
Tag your it,
Penetrating my body
Pain,
Anger,
Blood,
You missed, as I tag them in the throat
They die before they hit the floor,
Blood soaked leaves, green now red all around,
Where many stood, now the few
Players of a game where the fun is to survive.
#pain #tag #death #fun #anger #screams
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