In due time
I’ll pay what’s owed
Alone for the load of old moves
Payback for loans to sell dreams for a minute
Pimpish
If it’s crazy to be owned by the past I will be finished
Listened
To the choir to acquire what was missing
My soul is tired
Worn like treads of tires
Sneaker soles and old attire
Suited with attributes of a brute
Uncouth in the present of the future forbearing
Telling what’s apparent
Yet no one will listen
Forever imprisoned by debt
Even bankruptcy is too much to afford
Lawyers are costly
Hard to invest in freedom
I’m left
Like the wrong hand
Gambling for the chance
To win
Signing on lines
Next to x’s
Trying to buy back.....
Trying....
I’m trying to...
****...

I need my ******* soul back!

I need balance
I’m too extreme like my beliefs
Far too sorry to apologize
Forgiveness would be a lie I couldn’t live with

Balancing under pressure became a crushing defeat
Misfires and misdirection can land the highest man beneath
Untreated wounds breed infection
The lessons learned are easy to remember
Dismembered and off-kilter

Unbalanced drunkards lay wasted like death
Effigies of what used to be
¨**** it¨ attitudes
Added to the frustration
Of falling and failing, my fault
I brought shook hands
Like an addict

Moderation is balance
My mode is moody
******* and impatient
I meditated to medicate anger
¨Endangered species fighting for survival!¨
Was the greatest lie I ever told
I fought a war for peace
More violent than buddha’s
And I won
I won a deadly victory

Balance was not built for chaos
I’m a riot, raunchy
What I want no longer haunts me
I’m not a victim of crime
Im the victor
Missteps led me away from destruction
My mistakes were made
To save me

I think I am
falling in love
with myself
again.

All I want for Christmas
is some food to eat.
Oh what a treat
to have some meat.

All I want for Christmas
is clean water to drink,
stuff that doesn't stink,
that would be cool I think.

All I want for Christmas
is the bombs to stop,
no more to drop.
That would be the top.

All I want for Christmas
is for our food to grow,
the plants we sow
now that would be a show.

All I want for Christmas
is to be free to learn.
Not to be a germ
because I want to learn.

All I want for Christmas
is some medication.
and some dedication
from the United Nation.

All I want for Christmas
is to grow up strong.
Am I so wrong
wanting to belong.

All I want for Christmas
is some equal rights
and somewhere to sleep
through the coldest nights.

All I want for Christmas
is to earn a crust.
With employers
that we can really trust.

All I want for Christmas
is a chance at life
for a man and wife
not to live in strife.

All I want for Christmas
is oh so far away
and on this day
this is what I pray.

I wonder how it would feel
If your perfect straight white teeth
Left bite marks across my thighs.

Dear WickedHope,

You are a beautiful shade of exquisite.

I have read you poetry and it saved my wrist many times.

From harm that I would have inflicted.

Your poetry has made me feel less alone.

Your words that you wrote

The words made out of you

The emotions that you sculpted with letters

Have saved me from myself

Many times

And you are so strong

So beautiful inside and out

So deserving of love

And it sounds like you have gotten hurt

A thousand more times

Than anyone could ever deserve

I genuinely admire you

I want to recognize you for your flawless poetry

And your unbelievable strength

Dealing with all that you have

And being brave enough

To wear the mask we all do when we have burdens

To keep secrets you don’t deserve to be forced to keep

I just want you to know

I can’t love you on a personal level

Because I do not know you on a personal level

But I love you as a poet

And I really hope

One day

You learn to love yourself as you deserve to be loved

And someone loves you the way you deserve to be loved

Stay brave and beautiful inside out.

<3



Causing bigger and more severe problems
That spiral outward like my depression
Taking out everyone, everything around me
Except I'm still here, and that's unacceptable
-WickedHope

This scares me. It also shatters my heart. You are so, so incredible. All of your poetry has completely altered my views on many things and been relatable to me and in that way, it is form of healing for me to read your work and find poetic phrases that directly apply to my life and it makes me feel less alone, and I really think you are a spectacular poet and person. There is a literal aching agony in my chest to read these magnificently written yet tragic lines. Please don’t hurt yourself anymore inside or out. Please don’t want to hurt yourself anymore. I am so thankful to you for your poetry.

I pretend to be okay
You pretend that you care
-WickedHope

You are so. So. Strong. To pretend you are okay, no Hollywood actress compares to those who act like they are fine when they really are not. It looks (judging by your poetry) to me that you have had to be an actress far too many times and ACT like you are okay. Well that “YOU” person in your poem may have pretended to care but I really do care. I applaud you for an acting job well done. You are brave to pretend for that long that well. I hope you don’t have to pretend like that anymore because you are wonderful and you deserve wonderful. You worth something. Don’t tell me I’m wrong about this.

But now I know I'm not enough
I'm not enough to deserve love
-WickedHope

You are more than enough. This is a beautiful and poetic line, by the way. Listen, I believe that when you write poetry, that work that you create is more YOU than anything you do, say or how you behave in life. I have read your poetry and you are one of the most deserving of love people I have ever come across. You can’t see how amazing you are.

I'm so fake sometimes
     But this is real
     I love you
     But no one loves me
     Not even I
     I just want to feel loved
     But I probably wouldn't even
     Recognize love
-WickedHope

Such incredible poetry, I am amazed. My soul is crumbling as I read this though. I hate the idea of you feeling unloved. Of you not knowing love. I loathe that idea. But you touched on an important aspect of life. So many of us are so fake, love so much and do not feel loved and do NOT love ourselves, myself included but one day soon, you will find love. You don’t need to recognize it, it just needs to recognize you. And it will.

Why is it we cure pain with pain?
-WickedHope

Because it is the only thing we know and we can’t bring ourselves to look for anything else so we think that further pain can heal us. It never does though, of course. What an insightful thought. You see life through a lens made of poetry. How beautiful. I admire that about you. You are an extraordinary poet.

Dear WickedHope,

You. Are. A. Precious. Perfect. Human. Being. Worthy. Of. Love.
And recognition and you don’t deserve the pain you have suffered depicted in your poetry.

Thank you for writing. It has changed and saved me as a person on many occasions.

~Lots of love~

-Ember

Is a poem a song you speak?
Is it the music of the soul?
Is it a random, over-analysed hypothesis?
Does it have meaning as a whole?

Does anybody care,
About the words we post on sites?
The pain that makes good poetry,
Does it make us parasites?

Do we **** the blood of sorrow,
Till its bitter juice is done?
A ton of bloated leeches,
Belching back the pain we've won?

Is my anguish worse than yours,
Because I write it like a song?
Do you care about my heart,
Because my sonnet reads so long?

Are my poems just graffiti,
On the tombs of poets dead?
Is a poem really better,
When it's torment that's been said?

i didn't want to turn you into a poem
i didn't want you to be my muse
you've ruined my mind and my pen
you've made me blind to inspiration
i can't hold the pages still anymore
i can't understand my own writing 
your hair isn't a waterfall 
your eyes aren't deep oceans 
i'm not held here by your gravity
i'm not sure that your voice is music
you won't own me
i won't turn you into poetry

[holyoak]