Big World

Our hands met in a mess of rust red. Pressing the clay into heart shapes as they reached into one and other for something to believe in. But our journey began before then, in fits and starts. In passing scenes of first act exposition. My wondering eyes and yours of gloss and experience on summer nights of velvet lines.

We would be forced together, it seems, by happenstance and wine, like a passing note on a harmonica that you hit just right for the first time. And we would become fluent in our own drunken language of 3 am metaphor and sadness.

So many times, my lips began the journey to yours before we crippled them with “what for’s”. But still we’d share winter constellations and whispers and moments so perfect. Me on my knees, drawing your portrait on the path with handfuls of sand.

Even half a world away, my drink still seemed to rearrange itself into letters spelling your name. And then you asked me.

If the world seemed smaller.

And my mind was.

And my hands followed suit.

And then my frame began it’s descent.

But my arms stayed the same length. Just long enough to hold you.

I’d written the answer on the inside of my forearms, so I could press them to your body when I held you.

And my own joy of words, that only you would understand, I scrawled on my palms to serve as affirmations to myself when I covered my eyes to see no evil. Words like:

Majestic.

Precise.

Serendipitous.

And these words sent their letters to my mouth, asserting themselves in phrases like:

It’s a big beautiful world.

It is a big beautiful world.

And still we dance around our imaginary fire of ‘not good enough for you’ like a binary star. Beautiful but incomplete.

So, I loosened my tongue with women and foresight and raced the blood from my eyes to my core and pealed back my layers, until I could find the answers written in God on the insides of your forearms.

And now I know the answer to your question about the big, beautiful world.

And I don’t mind telling you.

I.

Don’t.

Mind.

Strong, stunning woman with hands covered in soil from the roots of the world she tugs on…

It is in your stride. Leaving wakes of timelessness behind you.

You seldom see, dear one, that you are the world. Not the child. And if I ever stoop to lift you, it is only due to the mountain you’ve erected beneath me, so that I can always see you. Across any distance.

You are reserved for made up words.

The story of your life is written on pages of gold.

I breathe honestly into the wind in hopes that it will touch your face somehow far away.

Tonight, I write by moonlight. My fifth glass of port wine is by my side, turning my blood to something sweet. I have no time for less.

I would whisk you away with me, but you are where you need to be and I haven’t found that yet.

But if you ever want to go, I would take you and show you the whole strange world that I see now.

No, my heart.

The world looks bigger.

We are stars in the sky, for each
shining beacon is a spirit up high.
Gleaming with the purity, now it
has left its mortal coil behind, for
if you ever lose that one close or
some one known, they are still
watching you from up high.

They are seeding the skies to light
the earth from above, never moving
guiding those below with there eternal
love.

They illuminate the skies, so we are
never in darkness, that there will
always be a light. To show those who
are mourning that there spirit is looking
down shimmering in the heavens.

For no one is really lost, they are just
on a journey in the heavens, and will
always shine there love for you from
above. If ever in doubt look to the sky
and see that one twinkle that is them
shining there love.

My wings are
my ears,
and I will always listen....

Sandman catch me if you can,
I will not succumb to your dust
as I am awake, no sleep needed as
I am staying up till dawn it is a must.

You set your traps, reality TV, a
boring show as my yawns happen
repeatedly. I'm not having that,
loud music keeps my senses alive
and vibrates my  yawns to dust.

Sandman I will not surrender,
to your want of sleep, I will win
this battle as my eyes awake,
but slowly succumb as my head
nods forward then back, like a
cradle swaying, my mind is hazy
is lack of sleep driving me crazy.

I see the dawn break, I have won
this round Mr Sand Man, I am
still awake, but my joy is short
lived as I'm shocked awake.

Well played my friend, as I
look to the window pitch black
only moments have passed, I
surrender to my needs, as
my head hits the pillow. The
Sandman sprinkles his dust,
the sandman always wins he
never sleeps on the job.

Time is the enemy of man, the
universe is ticking away its
existence, we are but a micro
second in its bigger plan.

We take it for granted, not
realizing the moments are
gone they never come back,
we  have only moments to
cherish to live and to love to
try and leave are mark before
we are dust.

The solar system like a clock
counting down, for every
rotation is time running out.

The time we have is something
we think will last, but we are
but micro moments in times
big master plan.

Always, is forever
Are we true *always?
For it’s not always
We keep our promises
Says the lover,
“I’ll be there for you, always.”
Not always living up to expectations
Does always have an expiry date?
Always means- unfailingly, infallibly, each time & every time
It seems almost always, it’s abused
Are we always, not strong enough?
Or, do we give in to circumstances, always?
For always seems to be the most misinterpreted
I keep pondering over it, always




© Amitav (Radiance)

So many thoughts flashing before my eyes,
So many ideas hovering inside my head,
Neurons and synapses reacting with lightning speed-
Fleeting moments of euphoric and neutral moments,
The subconscious is not subjugated anymore,
Taken over by the series of parallel journey of thoughts;
Never wanting to meet, but not willing to end either,
The powerful laboratory where ideas are experimented with,
Thoughts seem to travel faster than lightning speed,
Not able to grasp the roller coaster ride with upheavals;
Holding onto the norms and the usual dogmas for semblance,
But time has come for the cataclysmic events to occur,
As if to break the shackles of the mundane and the regular;
Unadulterated by the infusions from the external ideas,
The experimented thoughts have matured to a new level;
The time has come to dislodge the ages of darkness,
Where the mind thinks without the fear of being reprimanded…



© Amitav (Radiance)

Oblivious of the surrounding darkness
The fireflies light up, to dispel it
Dancing around in complete ecstasy
Penetrating through the obscurity
The fireflies have defeated the night
As if stars have descended on Earth
Waking us from a slumber, to join the party*





© Amitav (Radiance)

I'll ride in a unicorn if I had a chance
Go visit the hidden garden and take a glance
I'll go drop and make a dance in the moon
Through the magic carpet and massive balloon.

I'll watch the star from falling
Tie a hanky and keep myself wishing
I'll fly with the help of the birds
Make a big conversation with the clouds.

I'll submerge in the sea to play with Ariel
Dance under water and collect shell
I'll travel to visit Alice in the Wonderland
Not minding the dirt in the sand.

I'll ride on the plane and go to Paris
Tour myself in the city of poetry
I'll go to Eiffel Tower to have my dream come true
I don't care if I will go alone, atleast I have my happiness upto my bone.

Paris will be an amazing trip, but it isn't enough
I want to go visit the Queen
In the place where my favorite boyband has been
The place called London, the land I wish I was on.

It's always an amazing thing to imagine
And there is no other place for this, only in this piece.