I have known many ways
of birds
and unseen ghosts.
When I walk
it is always against the wind.
7 hours talking
to you in the dark
only to realize
you had left long ago,
tucked your longing
into the shadows.
Inventions of you
carved into walls,
quietly,
because that's the only way
I know how to love.
Girls I lay with
are only figments
of an imagination I write out of my pens.
Every moment spent
with you girl
was a light on the darkest night,
but now I must return to myself -
the way I was when my body was made.
Only Christ can know
the pain I'm in,
my girl she will raise her chin,
forget.
Meanwhile,
I,
conscious shadow seeker,
will be looking up
for reincarnation.