August burned quickly, incipient nostalgia
prematurely vanished, mellow and gentle
sea stone on the tiled table, cedar plank
with fish, sunset through the eye-slit window

thigh high in life and riding wherever life
takes me like a hopeless romantic

.
     I stare down at the plate of toast and beans
     wondering why this was never part of my dreams.
     Looking for the future with an illusional pretence,
     hoping good apples will fall on my side of the fence.

And as the fork dances slow
around the legumes in spirals,
the tedium of a wasting life
bears the burden and scars
of missed opportunities in paralysis
and the colour of once bright lights
          glow black,
shining a shadow into the void
covering the bruises
that were once achievements of worth,
     now tender patches
          of failure.
I drop the fork ...

     … pushing away the plate and leaving food uneaten,
     my desire for its nutrition fought and beaten,
     Looking at the apple tree with sombre regret
     maybe its fruit will fall and save me yet.

And disappointment
is worse than anger,
it begins with the stench of loss
the nasal whiff of
what if …

And what if the little apple tree
drops all its fruit down to me?
Would I recognise fortune on my side
or fear the illusions and run to hide?


© Pagan Paul (17/02/18)

The first days of warmth
always seem long, perpetual
Though grateful for rays beaming, burning the dark of winter from you
The death of winter leaving,
thus spring gracing us
with its gilded flowers and endless light

Imagine if yesterday was today.
What you would know.
What things you could change.
What tomorrow could bring.
Tomorrow would be today
If it was yesterday.
Imagine

I’m being wished
a “happy world poetry day”
and I just wish to
correct the calendar.
As Poetry day is your birthday,
it’s Valentines Day,
it’s the day you came into my life.
Darling,
I’ve been a writer my whole life,
but you,
you made me a poet.