Every moment in time.
Is a gift from the Divine.
No matter how small each one may seem.
Each moment is filled with beauty.
If I will but stop long enough to see.
Each moment is a snapshot of His love for me.
And there is beauty to be found.
Even in the ugly.
Will I live in gratitude?
And hammer away negativity?
Can I but live in the moment,
and watch my fears flee?
Moments of gifts.
Can I look closely enough to see...
A robin singing in the trees.
A small child laughing with glee.
A raindrop glistening on a green leaf.
Even my laundry piled up in heaps.
Even...
tears of grief that soak my sheets.
Beauty in the ugly.
Bringing me closer to the Creator.
Of beauty.

Moments in time.
Slowing time's passage.
With gratitude.
For beauty in the now.
For every moment in time.
For moments of gifts.
Love gifts from the Divine.

Hope
Is
The
Rope

Held out to me
In the form of His Word.

The rope I grab on to
when I'm drowning.
In the sea
of my confusing thoughts
and turbulent emotions.

The rope I hang on to
for dear life.
Lest I despair
and sink into depression's mire.

This rope called hope
is my anchor
in the storms of life.
In the storms
within
me.
When I cannot see clearly.

I grab on for dear life.
Oh Lord, may I never let go!
For You are the One
who holds my soul.
But...
I thank You
that even if I do.
You will never let go
of
me.

080316

Hindi ako
Yung taong matapos **** iwa'y
Pupwede **** balikan kung kelan mo lang gusto.

Hindi ako
Yung porket may nararamdaman pa sayo'y
Ihahain ang pag-ibig nang katulad ng dati.

Hindi ako
Yung mananatiling martir
Na kahit nasasaktan na'y iibigin ka pa rin.

Hindi ako
Yung papatawarin ka na lang ng bigla
Buhat sa napakalalim na sugat na iyong iniwan.

---

Hindi ako
Pero sa pagbalik mo'y
Kaya pa rin pala kitang yakapin
Nang may buong pagtitiwala.

Hindi ako
Pero patuloy kong nilalatag ang sarili sa Ama
Nang maging tama ang puso't
Masunod ko lamang Siya.

Hindi ako
Pero tiwala ako sa Kanya
Kaya't patuloy ka pa ring minamahal.

Hindi ako
Pero ang paghilom Nya'y walang kapantay.

Oo, hindi ako
At nagpapasalamat ako sa Kanya
Na patuloy akong binabago.
Hindi kasi ako perpekto,
Hindi rin perpekto ang pag-ibig ko sayo.
At may takot akong mahalin ka,
Pero sa pag-ibig Niya,
**Naroon pala ako.

Every single tear of blood
        Cupped in Your scarred hands

Dear Abba,
    
      To spiritually photoshop, or not to spiritually photoshop: that is a recurring question. I’ve gotten pretty good at cropping and resizing to keep an impressive façade, but the emptiness behind it is the telling thing, telling me that something about the life I’m living is off the tracks. I’m not the biggest fan of mirrors but I realize they do serve a purpose: showing me the reality, the real me. I’m a ragamuffin, always have been, and yet You love me, the real me. Amazing.

Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
    in the heavens.
   Through the praise of children and infants
    you have established a stronghold against your enemies,
    to silence the foe and the avenger.
   When I consider your heavens,
    the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which you have set in place,
    what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?
    You have made them a little lower than the angels
    and crowned them with glory and honor.
You made them rulers over the works of your hands;
    you put everything under their feet:
    all flocks and herds,
    and the animals of the wild,
    the birds in the sky,
    and the fish in the sea,
    all that swim the paths of the seas.
Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Though my heart aches and I feel alone and abandoned,
Though others reject me and cut me with their words,
Though I am shunned by some who do not understand
my plight,
Though the daytime in my life has turned into night.
Yet I will rejoice in my God.
And not give up the fight.

Though my body ages and my youth fades,
Though I have no work or way to be paid,
Though my future is uncertain,
and loved ones walk away.
Though I lose all I hold dear in this life.
Yet I will rejoice in my God.
Who gives and takes away.
And I will trust His sovereignty.

Though my heart is filled with grief,
Though I see no evidence of Him answering my prayers,
Though my eyes pour forth tears.
Yet I will rejoice in my God.
Whose love is forever near.
The only Love which will last forever.

It seems that when things go wrong they happen in bunches.
But at the same point its because of your hearts that I persevere.
Because each of your friendship Christ uses to show me Hope.
For you all are very special people indeed, that uses your poems.
To help others to see past what we each are going through here.
Between you all and Christ the Living God, I have firm Hope here.
Thus strengthening me with every thing that has come against me.
I want to say thank you to each of you all for your friendships.
That keeps me grounded , when I feel like I am sinking in life.

The path before me is straight and the way is not very wide. It is difficult to walk such a straight line. I often stumble and get side tracked along the way. Despite the burdens, I go on anyway. For you see someone has walked before me and he has made the crooked places straight. I just need follow his footsteps and  I will make it to my journeys end. So on I will go in confidence, walking the pilgrim way. Until I meet up with the sojourner who went before me, in Gods kingdom one fine day.

Swans drone and thrash filling every square inch of air in this room of solitary confinement
I've got feelings, need to get 'em out
To fall upon the deafness of every ear in this house, disbelieving
The cacophony soothes me somehow
But I fall asleep listening for phantoms trapped in white noise
Sometimes it's the only way
As the stress of the day won't let up and it stretches all the way into the lonely hours of night that are more accurately referred to as the early morning
That transition is usually lost with sleep and dreams
Unless sleep and dreams are playing hide and seek
The noise of Swans comes as close to anything in giving a sound to the stiffness of my mind and the heavy weight in my heart
The mean streak, can it be forgiven or forgotten?
I have something to blame
But integrity keeps me from pointing fingers
My greatest wish is to either be
Smart enough to grasp the worlds philosophies
Or so dumb they don't mean a freakin' thing to me
I'm tired of existing in the halfway point between the poles
Tired of courting hatefulness
Knowing it's not me
Hosting a wretched spirit with dark thoughts and self loathing
Knowing knowing knowing knowing knowing
My Father Who art in Heaven
Hold my cowardice not against me
Let there be justice in this one thing I ask
As I lay me down to sleep
Let not the morning sunrise stir my soul
Lost in deep unconsciousness I offer one final breath
Take it, Lord, and give me not another inhalation
Set my spirit free while my lanky body hardens 'neath the quilt my grandma made for me
Show me the mystery of all that lies ahead
And let not those I left behind cry that I am dead
May their mourning bring them peace and when it ends much joy
I'm not suggesting you made a mistake
But I just don't belong here
So when I close my eyes tonight
I will squint, hold the lids down hard and tight
And finally pray You'll make it all right
Please let my spirit drift listlessly into the night
In the name of your precious Son
                                                                  Amen