A hint of blue lit up her hair
Who was this dark beauty
Who just stepped out of nowhere
Who was this punk creature
A pierced face, so fair?

She tries to look mean
But she doesn't know
What I have been
The things I lost
The things I have seen

My gaze passes hers
And a moment I am paralized
As I know
She too realized
I'm in awe

This secret we now share
Me and the beautiful,
Punk, mean looking girl
And her blue hair

I want you to know
I'm sick of the way
I treated you back then
And wanted to ask
How have you been?

I had a dream
Where you were my friend
But you had to learn
How to trust me again

While the dream is fading
Details don't survive
The storyline is missing
But I remember very well
The ocean of turmoil in your eyes
And I remember very well
How you lingered
When I said my goodbyes

A flick of your hair
Twisted sunshine
To plentiful, I care
Flirting that line
Between touch
And caveing in
Push and pull
My morality
And your loveability

That smile of smiles
A gasp, a heave
Those alluring cobalt eyes
Compelling me to stay
As they secretly
Glisten my way

I dream of your taste
Of a brush, a kiss
The impact, I can't dismiss
But is it all reality?
Or figment of my ingenuity?
A Chimera
Of my longing
And your beauty?

So I'll cherish the small
Treasure and revere
This little thing we've got here
'Till trifling things, they disappear
Or grow big enough
To take a risk for love

The boy who couldn't handle the world
Couldn't find what everybody found
His place among
All things weak and strong
So he turned to run
From all things he'd never done
From the losses he had never won
Found himself in a meadow
Filled with life and beauty
A slight breeze
Caressing his tears
He had only two choices
From wich to choose
As he sat
Accompanied by the music in his head
His mind arguing life
His heart wishing death

I do not evade
Nor shun
Visions crude
That come to aid
My drafting pen
And chaperone
To creativities den

Cause I know
Yes I know
My darkest thoughts
Will form a poem

They look at me
And assume they see you too
It's me and I
Or so it's printed in the beholders eye

How can they experience you
And say the recognize me too
Dualism is inherent,
To all things we say and do

Different points of view,
A line,
May look the same
The second time it's spelled,
It defines another context

I cry in my dreams
For the people I have lost
I knock on their doors
One by one
And take them for a walk

We just have a talk
And I listen
To the things they wanted to say
From a time
They weren't yet gone

They change faces throughout
And I shudder,
And I'm glad
They're finally back

While we sit atop a car
In a green suburb street
The last face is yours
Your smile filled with tears

You stared off
And said:
"You understand, right?"
And smiled,
"I can see,
You understand"

Then I wake up
In reality
And I've got no time
For tears in mine
And I know
They only lived
In the fabrication
Of my mind

I heard the dog
In an alley, black
Dark and dank
He wore a jacket
He wore it well

The mobsterdog
Sent from hell
As he smiled his grin
Druil dripping
I started reminiscing

We'd had such great talks
Over the years
In a pub,
During a blackout
He was always there,
The rabid dog,
Always ready to share

We still speak
now and then
Only to back off again
We've had crazy times
We had our share of fun
That was before the misery had begun

But I won't walk his line
I can contain the lust
Cause I forsee
the grim, the repulsive
And the ghastly

Because the dog, you can't tame
The dog from hell
Only there to maim
While being your friend as well
And ****, he wore that jacket well

I lost a friend
Somewhere in that land
Where sadness
Does not come to an end

Actually I lost two
Somewhere in that land
Where betrayal
Comes from a friend

I don't sleep
As I watch it grow
Hoping I can handle
That little creep
Telling me
I can sink back
Into that black hole

Who are you supposed to be?
As I expected everything was connected
And we were fighting
But I still stood united
By your sides
What a wicked thing
I did not forsee

All nights you'd gone
You had places to be
I was so wrong
Giving my trust for free

I've been through ****
You can't imagine the jist
But I've always
Blindly trusted
My friends

Now, instead
I watch it grow
And expand
Hoping I can handle
And withstand

Oh, look at the mirrored boy,

A selfreflection destroyed
Got rid of the distorted
Omitted the fractured

I took another avenue
The time was due
To direct me to truth

Another mirrored boy
I eluded,
Circomvented

A deception
Of the opposing persona
Mirrored in a boy
Falsely identified
As a must-be
Piece of me

I was born broken
Yearned for a fix
Through years I went looking
Untill our first kiss

I know now
Not everything broken is bad
And I took a vow
Never again to be sad

And summers sprang
Autums dove
Winters bleaked
Untill Spring,
Another season leapt

With your hand in mine
I walked through it all
A smile revealing your teeth
Stitched my soul
And stirred me underneath

Scars turned into marks
Starting the journey
Of what essentially
Was a question
You answered unwillingly

Cause you liked me like this

Tell me how long
Before the last time
You'll be mine
Because it can't go on

Somebody told me
about your expectancy
Heaven is close
In places like those

When is it for the best
not to say goodbye
when I saw you last
The end was nearby

You were old
And lived good
Still I want to hold you
As I would

Can you speak for silence
Can you live for the dead
Can you sell your time
To cry out what's in your heart

You'll know what must be done
To fix the broken
The day you stand alone
And all worth losing is lost

Can you speak for silence
Voice what's in your heart
They let you die once
Now I roar in vengeance

Broken and on my knees
Aching and hurt
Subdued by stabbing fears
The strength I lack
Violently arches my back
As I cry out what's in my heart

So I ask you
Can you speak
when all remains silent
Can you live
for those who died
Can you sell your time
As I did mine
To cry out what's in your heart

Team Splishy splashy
Has been challenged
By the deep ferocious waters
And also it's hot whirlpool

So who will meet this task
Who will defile it's body
By paying a euro
to walk it's stony, silly shores
We are a band of bravery

We will not evade
any slide the water throws
We'll surge the waves
With a grim smile on our face
We'll weather The Storm

But who will take up arms
And pack towels and *******
Who will be our captain
And steer us towards the clear
Who'll stay sober when the end is near?

Is it Mich eel?
The underwater, electrified partyboy
Or Es Star
The queen, and star underwater
Maybe Marieke, the golden locked fish
Shining swirls, dancing, and
Ever smiling
Marlies, can it be
You'll strengthen the ranks?
Seth, my friendly shark
Buldering his underseas laugh

Or any other member
Of the band of brothers
And sisters alike
We will muster
The strength to tame
any splash comming our way
And go home drunk

Cause we are team splishy splashy

Meet the maze,
My friend the labyrinth
It has not forgotten,
The days of my descent

Dwelling,
Where no glow ever beamed
Where no light ever gleamed
In the back of my mind
And that ****** part of my heart
We were all *******, my friend
From the start

So enter my crypt
Welcome to the dungeon
And bring that part,
The darkness in your heart
This is where I fell to pieces
Excuse the mess
And try not to cut yourself

Maybe this time
I'll follow you
And you can tell me how to love
Before dusk,
Before darkness come

I said: "****!,
We need a talk."
I set you down
And struggle not to drown
In your eyes
Looking at me
Engagingly
Spilling a hint
Of fear and anticipation
As you hope
Just like me
For words
Setting love free

And I confessed
As a long bore knot
untied
A tear slipped from my eye
Cause I know too
It can not be
It was too hard to bear alone
The weight of unknown
Of love unshown

I handed you my poem
You melted
And gave me a passionate kiss
A cocktail
Of butterflies
And bittersweet tears

I gave you a last intense glance
Cause I never want to forget
The way you looked that day
As I walked away

All that salty sadness
Crashing on the floor
There's no sparkle left
In those eyes
Except for the glimmering moist
I have seen...
I have been here before
There's nothing you should say
No expections in the air tonight
I'll just hold you
And embrace your soul
Untill you care again
Untill you feel whole

The rage is building,
A tower made of kindling
It only needs a spark
For it to rage through the dark
And guide a roaring light
Lightening,
Igniting the darkest corners of the mind

In hindsight
That display of might
A painting, red and black
Preceded darker times
What am I left with in the end?
Another tower,
Built with regret.

And smoldering black,
A hatefull pit
Of fire, not illuminating
Never needing a spark
But endlesly burning
An all consuming flame

On my bike to the Liquorstore
Struck down by whiskey
Regrets are for tomorrow
Right now I want more

I lost my head
In drunken spirals
But I've got sticks
And drum away

A twitch, a twist
A ****** from the wrist
And we talked
And wrote a song

On the bike to the Liquorstore
Just bought sigarettes
Cause we smoked them all

Aint my time
Aint my turn
To feel ****
To let the bad unfurl

I let it wither and die
As it wants to blossom and grow
This crush of mine
I walk away
As my heart comes close
I harden sentiments
As I start to glow
And I said goodbey
And I gave up on you

But still, oh still
I lay awake at night
And dream in the day
Of your beauty and smile
Of your cheecky grin
And your eyes
That burned a hole
In that soul
Of mine

She looked me in the eyes and said
When the ****,
Will I be dead
And I replied:
"Not any time soon",
"You better be right"

That morning though
When she got out of bed
She slipped and fell
Down, on the floor
And broke her neck
She couldn't feel anymore

After a while
The cats feasting on her toes,
She didn't mind the mess
Cause her cats she loved the most,
But she couldn't help but wonder when
They would be up
To her neck

And I was right
And I was right
It took a while
Before she died

It took exactly
A day or two
The cops said it could even have been three
But to her it lasted
An eternity
And she got bored
So ******* bored
She hadn't ever been
At the same place
For so long

And although I know
She loved me dear
There in those hours before she died
She couldn't forgive me that I lied
And as Kitty started on her nose
She thought, quite in concern
If I had known,
This was the day
I would've dressed in something sweet