LOOK

I am SORRY that I am the way I am

I'm sorry that I start to panic when someone touches me
especially a guy
even though if its in a friendly way
I just can't help to flinch
I always think about the people that hurt me in the past

I am sorry that I constantly break down
I cant control my mind for consuming my emotions
my mind is always at war with my heart
I cant help to get flash backs of the past of what they did to me

Im sorry for hiding my feelings
I get nervous to tell you because Im scared of upsetting you
I had people that I upset when I always told them how I felt
I'm also not an open book
I even feel vulnerable just someone looking at the content of the book

I am sorry that I always ask for reassurance
Im just trying to get it memorized in my head so I can believe you
I want to make sure your being honest
your answers dont change
and you mean it
People drilled bad things into my head so I cant help it

I am sorry for constantly apologizing
I always think its my fault
I grew up people putting the blame on me
sometimes I can't tell if its my fault or not

LOOk
I
I ..am
sorry that I am me