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After a day
of pondering
I flew into
a frenzy,
burning books that
couldn’t help me
and so through centuries
of love poems and stories
I blazed
wondering if this was how the
ghosts who wrote them felt
when they poured out their
souls
and I burned and
I burned and I
burned
until I came to my final
book.
A Dictionary…
And I burned that too
because in it
I could not find words to
adequately describe how you
make me feel.
We were younger


You was lightning,


Fast and beautiful


And I was thunder,


Bold and truthful
I remember the feel of your hair
The way you had trouble looking at me
I braved through
I remember loving to look at you
Long arms spread out on that wooden table
You'd act so coy and confident
And I so badly wanted it

I was learning to flirt
If you want a girl,
You better work on those legs
And your hair?
It needs a change
"Well, how should I fix it?"
Do this and that,
I refused to do it for you
Because my poor stomach and chest
Were already feeling too much
I wouldn't have handled the spark
If our skin would have brushed
But I braved through it,
Did it a little bit

And we laughed while it got dark,
We laughed like we were little kids
And our faces were red
But it wasn't all from the laughing
And we'd catch each other staring
Learned to admire that sacred ground

We were younger
You was lightning,
Fast and beautiful
And I was thunder,
Bold and truthful

I stare at my wall now
Wonder how your hair feels now
Wonder who loves your legs now
 Jun 2017 Chloe Christian
brooke
i see now how
people are drugs,
but not quite how they
bring out the worst--

and i only have so much
to say about my own choices
just that you can board the
wrong boat and it will take
you, will
take you.

if I could pin point the exact moment
it would be at Louies, the night I chased
your headlights up Frazier, before it turns
into a county road, blinking rapidly
as if that could clear the fuzz,
and you passed a little suburban
going 70 past high meadows--
these are the secrets I hide
the first time being so
drunk the juke box
was kaleidscoping
in and out, and all
I could focus on was
your thin frame across
the room, pool cue in hand
mouthing I love you

oh, but did you?
I think i associated
a few too many with
you coming back, or
having you, but you
were no object, and
I was only confusing--
washing you up on
shore and pulling you
back down deep,

oh, but did you?
I was not doing the opposite, but
the wrong crowd found me in
my weakness, and took me in
as miserable people do--
but if it amounts to
anything I have found
my way to the door
and opened it the
way i do best,

for leaving.
(c) brooke otto 2017

there are a lot of things I'm still afraid to write about.
it's a little too cold,
the spaces between us,
ice sinks like truth
deep in my bones

I know I said I love you
I know you know I meant it,
dream of tangling fingers
as I pull away

friends that call me turtle
for the funny faces I make
but now I'm edging back into my shell
thinking they just know me

a little too well
and it's a little too close
for comfort—what's comfort?
hell, I'm just kidding myself

help me, I'm breaking down
no, leave me,
can't save me now
just know: I hate myself for this

these lips pushed and pulled
forming shapes
to imagine your kiss,
a kiss I'll never get to taste

please let me drift.
more space between us;
let the ice sink like truth
deep in our bones

sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
and I love you and I'm
leaving, gotta leave here
don't wanna be replaced
I can't tell you
much
about love and poets
and how well that'll
work out
but they'll sure as ****
write about
it.
 Jun 2017 Chloe Christian
Nathan
I'm laughing on the outside
(You're talking about your date again)
But crying on the inside
(Oh how I wish it was me)

My heart yearns for you
But your obliviousness pains me
So when you go on your date tonight
Have fun, be happy, you deserve it

It's gonna be another night for me
Hugging my pillow, just wishing...




Wishing it was you
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