I'm calling her name,
even though I've run out of things to say.
But because the clock is ticking,
I do not want this conversation to end.

If my words bear insignificance,
then I shall in patient silence, listen.
But I may never relive, re-love;
So tonight, let not her voice fade.

I remember walking back from school
the tenner for the bus ride in my pocket
There would be a row over why I had taken so long
But I'd gulp the sondesh down, and it'd be forgotten

The grey haired proprietor of the sweetmeat store
wore a perennial smile on his face
And sometimes I wondered if he had ever been sad
How could he with those sweets on his silver trays?

I learned to grasp the concept of gravity
when a piece of sweetmeat went down my throat
And then a lesson on quick mathematics
when the shopkeeper stretched his palm for what I owed

But sadly the chemistry book had no formula for me
to turn sugar and milk to that special treat
The report card was skewed, and the scolding that ensued
Was only remediated by my favourite sweet

Leaves shed
as she leaves behind
Those worn old faces and troubled minds
to a distant land
Her brave heart is fuelled by freedom

I walk alone
over graves gold and red
Rustle and crunch! complain the dead
With a grimace,
I bid welcome to my favourite season

The northwest breeze
shares a smoke with me
As I solicit the shade of a leafless tree
The dust gathers
around my feet, around my life uneven

A golden sky
when the red sun sets
A cloud floats by that resembles her face
with the colours
that make Autumn, to me, so appealing

What’s it like
To be young and wild
Carefree and a bit reckless
What’s it like to have friends
To party on weekends
To have relationships
Maybe a fling
What’s it like to be normal
Are you all happy like you seem
Because I seem to be dying slowly
And I’m upset with you all
I’m ANGRY
Because you never asked
Never wondered
If maybe
I wanted to be normal too
You just assumed
I was quiet and independent
I wouldn’t want in
Maybe I didn’t
But I do now
Now that I’ve pushed you out of my reach
I tell people how little I really do
They give me sad looks
But never reach out
I’m really rather unhappy
Because it would seem
All chance of happiness
Even just normalcy
Is kept out of my reach