her laugh is like small bells
it makes me numb
and tingly
i smell like her and I love it
piano girl

When all is certainly lost,
I remember that there is at least one person out in this world,
whose soul was made from the same ingredients as mine.
And you remind me of this every day that I’m sad,
when you offer me a piece of yours,
to mend mine that which is broken.

Last night was the worst I've ever felt
Honestly the first time my heart has ever melt
Like I told you the little things you do make you amazing
I would do anything for you, even risk my life try saving
We spent the whole day on the beach, us three
Then you went home, me and her not knowing that you were trying to end your misery;
We smiled back, hugged and said our goodbyes
Still unaware that this might be our final time.

Then I got a text saying 'This is it. I'm sorry' as I walked through my door
As I thought about what you meant my heart hit the floor
I texted back in a hurry, giving you all the reasons you should stay; one of them Being me
Hoping you would listen and just pray: we're made a promise for eternity.

You told me that I didn't need you, but we both know you're the reason that I'm still strong
I didn't want to let go cause where you were headed was not where you belonged
My mind overflowed with thoughts on why is this happening and if you're okay...
I just couldn't think of me living 'happily" day by day
Without you here to say "Keep your head up, I love you. Things will be okay."

We're we inspiration to each other
We were always together.. There wasn't one without the other
This was written in pink because it's her favorite color
I had no clue what I would do without her...

The night gets colder
I'm thinking it's over
Crying to myself cause I no longer have a shoulder.... To cry on.
No one left I can rely on.

The morning after
All I could hear is your laughter
Which was disturbed by a call from a number I couldn't recognize
I remember saying "hello" as tears came to my eyes
It was you telling me that you're okay
I was speechless.. In my mind thanking God that he heard what I had to say..

Looking back on that text like it was a nightmare
Not knowing what to do and who to call because I was scared
All of this that happened, I wish it was pretend
But this is unforgettable...


The night I almost lost my best friend.

I know for a fact that you will never
care as much for me
as I do for you
but know that I cherish
every inside joke we share
like safety
glued to my fingers
I will not let go
I will protect you
no harm will ever be done to you
either if it's words
or judgements
or something scary
I will be there to
assure you
how amazing you are
and how much you are loved.

Do not ever let others bring you down because you are different
you are a beautiful rainbow on a rainy day
putting a smile upon other's faces.
Even on the darkest days
when it seems that the world is against you
know that you, yourself
are the light
that brightens day.

You are amazing
every bit that makes
others wonder
who you are and
how you think is
what makes you you.
I am grateful to be a piece
in what makes you you
and what makes your memories
and hopefully
what will make a whole lot more.

the little girl just could not sleep
because her thoughts were far too deep
her mind had left her; gone out for a stroll
and fallen down the rabbit hole

this life will never be a wonderland
nothing goes just like it's planned
all the creatures are gathering round
as her broken body tumbles down

but darling, you're too late, I fear
your sanity has already left, my dear
maybe you're too big, or maybe you're too small
but you'll never get to wonderland at all

you're mad as a hatter, and far too late
you'll soon see, but you'll have to wait
this will soon all be a memory,
left only as a darkening dream...

(the girl wakes up to the smiling light of the crescent moon. but the nightmares don't end.)

I wanted it to be you
I wanted it to be you so badly
but I am not Alice
and this is not my wonderland

j.f

They locked me away and called me insane,
They said there was something wrong with my brain,
I pushed and I shoved as I recalled my blunder,
Of telling the truth of that land of wonder.

The Queen of hearts has me,
The tears that I’ve shed,
Are no small reminder,
That it’s all in my head.
The rabbit the grin, the voices within,
The chessboard, the game, are things I can’t win.

The Queen of hearts has me,
The tears that I’ve shed,
Are no small reminder,
That it’s all in my head.

They tricked me for good when they took me away,
And showed me the truth that I’d have to stay,
Till my white knight arrives in checkerboard thunder,
And brings me back, to that land full of wonder.

It seems terribly sad, but at least it was said,
I’ll fight for what’s right, when it’s off…
with…
my…
head...

The Queen of hearts has me,
The tears that I’ve shed,
Are no small reminder,
That it’s all in my head.

Five. Cinco.

Half of the ten and a fifth of the twenty five. Mathematics are a funny subject, don't you think? Some man just made up letters to correlate with numbers to transcend to concepts that in all reality could mean nothing and the square root of a orangutan could actually be yellow.

I contemplate on that a lot, being the Grace that I am, wondering if what's real is real, if words are just words, or all they the pygmy hippopotamuses flying in my dreams. Anything is possible. Dreams could be reality, and reality could be a dream. Or maybe there is no such thing as realness, and everything is just madness.

I learned a lot from my friend the Mad Hatter, how to love, how to be disappointed, how to fall into a pit of despair and how to wear a hat like a ****** deviant and love it.

But the most important thing I learned is that sanity is very subjective, because what may seem totally sane to me, completely within the norm, may seem like complex incongruity to someone else. Maybe we're all mad. Maybe no one's mad. Maybe its just you, maybe its not you.

Special. That's another word that always got me, but I prefer to think in the realms that everyone is different. The world is in different shades and hues, none are ever quite the same, so why should people be that way?

But maybe yet again I'm only speaking in riddles and soliloquies and monologues and standing over all my conquests I am screaming my thoughts while they utter not a word, fearful of manic me.

I'd be afraid of manic me. She is quite the finger-twitching tyrant.

Words are words but are they real? Are they what you mean or are they just lies, lies, words that you scream until she dies, dies, and the world is at peace.

Oh, that's not right.

I once wrote a short poem similar to that I could recite by heart, but as my heart has changed the words become jumbled. Death creeps its way into lies, and heavy juxtaposition ***** with my meanings. Eating my words, until I am not a girl anymore, I am a leaf, or a bat, stuck in Wonderland until the end of my days.

Funny how Alice the savior became Alice the bat.

Wait, I'm not Alice, I'm Grace.

Oh, I do not know who I am anymore. And that is the tragic beauty of Wonderland. You just never know what, or who, tomorrow may bring.