I remember the first day I saw you,
This was just a year ago,
I remember it oh so clearly.

I couldn't sleep the night before,
Finally,
We were in the same place.
Under the same sky.

I told my friends the next morning,
"Gosh, I've never sweated this much."
They giggled,
and thought I was kidding,
But I did not lie.

I stared into the distance,
There you were.
Wow, I thought.
You were real.
Gone, were our laptops.
The sight of you behind the screens.
And the ambience of our lowly lit rooms.
You were just within arms reach.

I hid behind my friends,
As we walked in a line.
"Shh, stay down," they whispered as we got closer.
I giggled, my head feeling light,
Is this how falling in love felt like?

Your jaw dropped as you saw me,
I felt like a little girl as you came running towards me,
Took me in your arms and spun me,
"I thought you were at your friends for the weekend!
How did I not see this coming?!"

This bittersweet memory just broke me,
A year later none of us saw this separation coming.

Bleh.
All this I feel is pain.
All I want to do is ****.
This pain turns to anger.
Anger which then turns to hate.
All back to the beginning.
A continuous cycle.
Never stopping

Pain is...
Being able to imagine a future with him
Someone who will never love you.

Pain is...
Loneliness
Sadness
Being overlooked
Wishing for the impossible
Seeing everyone run from you.

Pain is spirit breaking,
Tear jerking torment.

That's what pain is.

Eye to eye then a moment of deny.
That's how we end it and how i started to die.

Maybe you're the chosen one, But I'll find another one.
I Promise you i'll do just fine, Even that You're not mine.
I'm already fell & you did get me toi well, But no matter what as always i'll Win the war.
I'll be Hurt but i'll forget, all i hope that you will not regret.

Empty jar, i'm going so far.
I'm breathing hard, like i'm winning award.
I need some mercy, and he's giving me up slowly.
I'm searching for another plan, that i'll never get lost again.

The only person who puzzles me is me myself these days.
i forget or claim that I forget! I do not really know.
love him or i just got used to him! Question make me crazy.
leave or walk with him into the unknown! really confusing.
Not lose my self into this, is all i'm trying.!
~~~~~{