i finally remembered what it was
to feel happy and content
instead of just "not sad"
the sun comes around more often
sticks around longer
it paints my world in colors more beautiful
than those it gives the sky because suddenly,
when my friends laugh , i can too
and i am loud again
and instead of walking, i skip
suddenly, instead of dreading the day,
i wake up to moments full of potential
and i worry less about every single thing i do
suddenly, being with people
is as invigorating as it used to be
once upon a time ago.
of course, the rain will come again
and the sun will leave with summer
and it is then, especially, that i will hurt again
but suddenly, i have hope.
story time! i've suffered from depression, and more recently, anxiety on and off for a few years. my parents can't afford to get an official diagnosis done, but in looking at my symptoms and consulting others, i think i may have seasonal affective disorder (or s.a.d.). of course, it's technically a self-diagnosis and i hate to be "that person", but this is just how i've been feeling the past few days as spring rolls around so i thought i'd explain about s.a.d. for some clarity.