No one will ever care about me the way he does..
But he doesn't care about me the way I need him to..

One reason I'm so scared to be with you
Is because often i think about how much I love you
And how If I ever lost you,
I would lose myself...

I don’t sleep well anymore
I need pills to help with that.
Sometimes I sleep too much
I need pills to help with that.
I think about how I’m going to die a lot
I need pills to help with that.
I worry about what I’ll do if I lose you first
I need pills to help with that.
I feel the most lonely in crowded places
With loud banter and familiar faces
I feel the most lonely in my head
The curtains blocking the sun, I’m a slave to my bed
I need pills to help with that.
And I don’t like taking them,
They make me feel less capable, and more ashamed that I cannot function happily like the others.
I need pills to help with that.
I need them but I don’t want them,
And because I don’t want them,
I don’t take them, and because I don’t take them
I take myself to the top of a building, and find peace from the thought of jumping.
Will you watch me fly like a bird, float like a feather? Let me find peace among my brain’s bad weather?
I don’t need pills to help with that.
Can you help with that?

This is not a love poem
this is an I love you do you love me like
I love you poem
do you know me like
you think you do poem
this is a would you be disappointed
if you did poem
an I have been feeling the chilling of the air
and I cant tell if it is just the fault of the season
or if you, too, are cooling
whatever heat you had for me
browning and falling and
crumbling between my fingers
like the leaves of these oak trees
in november poem
a what would I need to do to keep us warm poem
and this is also
an I may be completely mistaken poem
an it was seventy degrees today poem
this is a show me I am completely mistaken poem

People are obtuse to my insecurities
and blissfully ignorant to my mind
never being bothered by the depression
or pestering anxiety that lies inside..

Today the sun didn't come out
I'm getting use to the rain
Can't help but catch myself dawdling
and wishing you were here to fill the pain.