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Jul 2018 · 258
to you.
should i be selfish or should i not?
i want to stay as someone whom you knew i was.
the someone who understands you in every way.
i want to stay as the someone whom you already opened up to just on the first day we met.
i want to stay as someone whom you could trust and depend on, even though i cannot depend on myself.

i want to be understanding, i really do.
but i don't even know who is speaking to me anymore. is it the angel or the devil?
this voice keeps telling me to be selfish. my greed is swallowing me whole and i don't know how to fight it.
it keeps telling me that:

i want to be someone more than understanding to you.
i want to be someone to tell you good nights and sweet dreams.
i want to be someone who hugs you every time you feel the world's closing up on you.
i want to be someone whom you'll let kiss your scars and all your expressions of art.

i want to be someone whom you'll let to have you just the way you are.
i want to be someone closer to you than anyone else.
i want to be someone who sees you during your lows so I can bring you back up to your highs.
i want to be someone who showers you all the love and care you deserve because **** it you deserve eveything good in this world.

i want to be someone who will always be there by your side during the days you feel lonely and when you feel like darkness is swallowing you whole.
i want to be someone who's like a glue to you that will let you put together the broken pieces of who you once were.
i want to be someone you'll hurt because I know you are worth hurting myself for.
i want to be someone who'll cry over you because i know you are worth every drop of my tears.

i want to be someone who tells you you are enough. you are even more than enough, with all your scars and everything you hate about yourself, you. are. enough.
i want to be someone who makes you realize that you, for ****'s sake my dear you you you, of all people in this world, deserve to be happy in this cruel life we live in and that you can be loved with all your scars and painful moments.
i want to be someone whom you'll let love you through each time that passes.
i want to be your everything.

but for ****'s sake that is too arrogant and selfish of me.
my heart is telling me that if i let you go, you will be the best thing i never had.
and yet, my conscience is telling me i'll just end up breaking you even more than you already are that's why i have to let you go.

so tell me, should i be understanding or should i be selfish?
can't do anything but let everything out or else i'll lose my mind.
Mar 2017 · 286
promises
promises are made to be broken for people who break promises but promises are kept for a lifetime for people who know how to keep them.
Mar 2017 · 292
secret
i have a secret to tell you.
i don't love you anymore.
i don't think about you anymore.
my heart doesn't beat fast whenever i see you anymore.
i have already moved on and started something new.
everything died since we parted.
all the memories, forgotten.
all the kisses, forgotten.
all the hugs, forgotten.
all the love, forgotten.

let me tell you a secret once more.
*i lied.
lies secrets
Nov 2016 · 367
fate
She is as bright as the sky at daytime,
brightening everyone's lives as they smile.
He is as mysterious as the sky at nighttime,
witnessing everyone's secret within a mile.

She is a beautiful daytime so to speak,
he is a mysterious nighttime for everyone to keep.

Though each other long to be within reach,
but each other are not destined to meet.
Jul 2016 · 375
look out
"look out! the killer's around!" is what they say.
"look out! the killer is near!" is what they shout.
"look out! the killer has a knife!" is what they warn.

i don't really get it. i don't have a knife yet i think as if i'm killing myself. i'm not dangerous to be feared, nor psychotic to terrify people.

the thing is, i am scared of myself. dangerous thoughts linger longer than time.

people may see me normally in their eyes. but when i look at myself in the mirror, i see differently.

in my eyes, i am the killer. not the one who kills other people with force but rather someone who kills herself with her thoughts.

thus, the most dangerous killer in this world, is no other than one's self.
Jun 2016 · 496
destined
she's a raging storm,
he's a calm summer weather.
not destined to be.
Jun 2016 · 296
Untitled
Weak just to love you,
but strong just to protect you.
Just to be with you.
Jun 2016 · 285
7:16
With this vast world we live in,
nothing seems to last forever.
Countless people come to and fro,
but only few have given me shelter.

It was you who first stepped in,
made me feel things I never knew would matter.
Back then you were the stars to my dark sky,
thank you for making it brighter.

You were the first to ever look past my flaws,
and embraced me in your arms tighter and tighter.
The first to love me as someone special,
and the first to let me experience such closure.

You were a knight in shining armor,
you were my knight and at the same time my armor.
But then, slowly and slowly, you began backing down,
and rust seem to slowly and slowly engulf the armor.

You showed me your love in sweet small ways,
but as time passed they turned smaller and smaller.
Such sweet simple gestures turned so small that even my heart,
it cannot feel them any longer.

Throughout the time we've been side by side,
only few memories were shared from one to the other.
But my mind and heart cannot lie,
that I am grateful for all the times we were together.

An us may no longer be,
but I know this is for the betterment and sake of each other.
With us now in our separate ways,
there is now room for growing and flourishing in the future.

Words cannot fathom enough how I am thankful,
for the little infinity we've had together.
Within numbered days you have had given me forever,
and for that I am truly grateful.
Oct 2015 · 237
030115
8:56pm*
oh the things i'd give and do,
just to feel your arms around me,
holding me close and tight,
never letting go.
Oct 2015 · 250
like mine
i gave you love like mine
and you're no longer alone
when the sun shines.
tear drops on your shirt,
no longer present.
i told you i'll let them fall
only when you're full of content.

i became yours,
and you became mine.
you were asking for love,
and i gave it.
all my love is now yours,
cherish it, nurture it, treasure it.
Oct 2015 · 615
happenstance
The rest of the world is black and white,
dull and full of fright.
Words are meaningless,
no one to address.
Life seems so empty,
all alone with no company.
Skin feels so dull,
already close to being numb.
Living without love,
made one unsure of what she’ll become.

But then she met with his eyes,
it put her out of her demise.

Her world now full of color,
everything had gotten better.
Words are no longer just words,
they are calls.
She no longer lives alone,
together they stand strong.
His hands no longer hands,
they are caresses.
Love is no longer love for her,
it is him.
destiny love
Sep 2015 · 438
life support
when all else fails,
everything seems to go dark.
all hope is lost,
nowhere to go back.

under the bludgeoning of doom,
one stumbles hard.
hard to stand back up,
when there's no one who will regard.

then one door opened,
flooded everything with light.
it was you standing there,
ready to save with all your might.

yet everything is hanging by a thread,
including my hope and life.
you tried to support and save me,
but the thread was cut by a knife.
May 2015 · 463
let you go
some people say letting go of someone you love is hardest thing to do;
but i say otherwise.

letting you go was the best decision i have ever done. it is because letting you go is also like letting myself go.

i know you are not right for me and having myself hold onto you just drags my heart like an anchor into the deepest and darkest abyss.

and you, knowing i love you and you don't feel the same because there is already that other person whom you let hold your heart with you.

i may have not gotten the chance to hold your heart, but i gave us both the chance to be free.

now, i am free to find the right one and now you are free to love that someone.

my smile is no longer fake, my heart is now unbound, my mind is finally made up, my tears no longer present, and i can now walk away with a satisfied smile.
dedicated to one of my friends for inspiring me and made me come up with this one after reading one of her brilliant pieces. hope you like it :) all the love ***
Mar 2015 · 963
fond
i fond over you
too much
it hurts like hell
Feb 2015 · 424
i r o n y
i hate you,
so much it hurts.

you're a dork
you're an idiot
you're a klutz
your jokes are lame
you annoy the hell out of me.

oh but what irony is this?
the things i hate about you,
are things i miss the most
whenever you are not around.

you may wonder,
why i hate you so?
it is because,
i keep on falling for you.

all those things i hate
made me fall hard for you.
i hate them so much
because they remind me
you don't feel the same,
the same way like i do.
Feb 2015 · 751
everything
you to me are everything
the greatest thing
life may ever bring.

your smile could light up
thousands of homes,
and your existence
makes me whole.

i just wish i could be your everything,
just as you are to me.
just a simple one **
Jan 2015 · 856
just a little bit
all i ask is a little bit of your attention.
a little bit of your smile
a little bit of your laugh
a little bit of your time
a little bit of your heart
a little bit of your love.

it may sound selfish but,
a little bit of something
means everything, to someone
who has nothing.
Jan 2015 · 1.1k
a d o r e
i adore you,
yes i do.
you don't know me,
but i you.

you wrote songs,
but not for me.
though i think they are,
to fulfill my wildest dreams.

i adore you
with all my whole.
and i'll take the leap,
when you fall
even though i know,
you won't be there for me at all.
just decided to put this on here :) **

— The End —