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Carolin Feb 2017
I feel numb and cold. I
feel isolated and bored.
My hands have sinned
again. This body is no
longer holy without you
by its side. Without your
hands caressing my
arms and thighs.

I painted a map on the
wall. Planned to build a
raft to float across the
ocean hoping to land
on your shores.

I can't sleep alone
anymore. I have to
move next to you. I
forgot what is it like to
feel. Lost my appetitive
and will to survive. I
need you badly in my
bed sheets tonight. I
stained the walls
with geography.

Paint splattered on my
shirt. And now I'm left
with nothing to do but
to write you a love note
and head out to build
that boat.

I'll be kicking these
waves soon. By dawn
i'll be wrapped up in
your arms. And we'll
be kissing again under
the moon light. But now ,
i have these feral
waves to
fight ~
Feb 2017 · 536
Beauty Was The Answer
Carolin Feb 2017
I wanted suicide. My eyes
could tell about my living
hell. But letting go of all the
ugly and hurt was the key of
ending it all. Holding onto
beautiful things was the
only way to survive.

Holding onto love had me
living my life. Happy and
free it made me. My heart
felt what it was craving for
all along. It wanted to be
caressed and  adored.
My heart never asked
for more ~
Feb 2017 · 490
Dear Readers
Carolin Feb 2017
Dear readers , its that time
again for me to talk to you
and explain. I write from the
core of my heart. I write
because he exists from the
start. Its hard to weave all
these emotions under your
skin. Its hard to love in
silence because to others
your love might seem
as sin.

Dear readers , the heart
wants what it wants. No
culture or religion or God
can put a stop. We as living
human beings were created
from the same star dust.
Therefore setting no rules
for love should be a must.

Dear readers , love is a
mixture of pure emotions.
It's not just about being
***** and craving lust. It's
about that spark that's set
in the depths of your souls.
Its about that energy thats
created when we kiss and
touch. Its sacred and

Dear readers , don't
complicate love. Its a
blessing from the heavens
above. The best gift we
could ever have. Feel it ,
adore it , obsess it , hold
it. Plant it in your souls ,
plant it where ever you
go. Dear readers please
don't deny this and say
no. Carry love with you
on every road you
go ~
Carolin Feb 2017
He said I love you and
her clothes fell off. He
kissed her and their
tongues twisted and
twirled. His love took
her to another world.
Hand in hand they
fought the dark. He
stopped the blood that
was falling from her
cuts by patching them
up with flowers and
the petals blushed
as they witnessed
their endless
love ~
Feb 2017 · 704
Save Me
Carolin Feb 2017
Be the songs in my mind
when I feel down instead
of high. Be the blood that
flows in the marrow of my
bones. Lift up my chin when I
stoop down low. Soothe
my aches , because I can't
do this on my own. Cut
wide my skin and crawl
from within. Carry me over
these tides before they
drown me alive. Keep my
boat afloat before I turn
over and capsize. Save me
from the monster growing
inside. Patch my wounds
with leaves and twigs.
Mend my heart with a hug
and a kiss. Don't leave me
alone in the forest like this.
Save me now before the
wolves come out of their
dens and eat my pulsing
flesh one bite at
a time ~
Feb 2017 · 437
You Found Me
Carolin Feb 2017
On a darkened night I
remember how you
found me. In dim lights
you found my shine.
With a whisper and a
kiss you set my soul
on fire. In less than
twenty four hours
you taught me what
lust and desire felt
like. You taught me
how to moan
and howl ~
Feb 2017 · 744
I Became Free
Carolin Feb 2017
They said I could be
whatever I wanted to be.
So I decided to be a
poetess. I decided to be
wild and free. I broke out
of my skin. Dressed my
self up with my papers
and pen. Broke my walls
and burnt my bridges ,
stepped on my past and
took out my stitches. I
became a soul drenched
in chaos and raw emotions.
I became madly in love
with a man who became
my religion and god. With
a man who became
everything I've believed
in. I became madly in
love with a man who
washed me from sin
and made me holy
again the minute he
touched my back
and chest. The
minute he kissed
my lips and
hips ~
Feb 2017 · 301
It Get's Better
Carolin Feb 2017
We've been lost. Up and
down. Laughing like maniacs
and clowns. Broken and bent.
Wounded and hurt. Used and
abused. Beaten down to the
bone. Choked by the neck
and throat. Slaves to our
suicidal thoughts. Obeying
nothing but our sharpened
razors and shining blades.
We've been numb and
paralyzed , no one around
bothered to pause and
realize. But we moved
on as we clutched on
our lucky charms.

Despite our same homes
and walls. Same lives and
paths. Same work and ghosts ,
we found a light shining in
our cold worlds. Hope
dangling from a thread.
God's hand reaching out
from the morning's blue
skies patting our backs and
offering some help. We
found angels floating above
with their harps and violins
as we closed our tired eyes ,
they sang us songs to
make us feel alright.

We found new worlds that
exist inside of our chests.
Dreams of ginger heads ,
cookies and bread. Dreams
of gold and shimmering
jewels. Dreams of love and
wearing designer shoes.
We let go of the things that
hurt our souls and hearts.
In the hallow corridors of
our minds , we walked with
confidence and pride. We
promised that we'll keep
going in this life with out
a scream or a cry.

We promised ourselves to
move on as we let out gentle
breaths of relief instead of
sobs and sighs. We promised
to work ******* our lives.
We promised ourselves that
we'll survive no matter how
high our waves will rise. No
matter how rough our storms
and winds will get. With
a positive attitude
we'll bloom and shine
like the moon* ~
Feb 2017 · 294
Colour Me
Carolin Feb 2017
Colour my petals ,
colour my stems. Don't
let me wilt don't let me
bend. Water me and turn
me holy.

Caress my leaves and
soften their every edge.
Don't leave me please ,
I am small and weary. I
need you for my

My roots are fighting
beneath the soil to feed
and breathe , despite my
silence I am trying to
survive and exist on a
planet like this.

Because of you I am
slowly blooming. Because
of you I am healing and
believing* ~
Feb 2017 · 250
I Watched It Burn
Carolin Feb 2017
I took a deep breath and
exhaled flames that put
my past to rest. I watched
my pages ******* and
burn down. I saw my past
become dust and ash in
a fraction of a second.
In a heartbeat it was
descending ~
Feb 2017 · 338
Let's Show Them
Carolin Feb 2017
Run away with me , to
the mountains and
between forest trees.
Let's show the culture
that we can change things
around. Let's show them
that love makes everything
better. Let's show them
that we're stronger together.
Let's show them that love
can last forever. Let's prove
them wrong this winter
during this sweater weather.
We'll say our vows as the
winds caress our skin and
shout out for an encore
while they clap in awe.
And watch us kiss again
and again as we blush
and drench one another
in giggles and
laughs ~
Feb 2017 · 364
Your heart ~
Carolin Feb 2017
I dance to the melodies
of your heartbeats. I get
high on the love it pumps.
I carry it in the palms of
my hands and treasure it
like my own , to protect
it from any coming
storms and winter's
blistering cold ~
Feb 2017 · 439
It Gets Better
Carolin Feb 2017
Days spent broken and
bent. Hurting and torn.
So close to falling and
hitting the floor. Having
a fear of shattering to a
million pieces. Hearing
demons screaming
around. Afraid to look
down and seeing my
shadow , cause it probably
looks like a clown. Holding
on to hope. Refusing to
leave earth. Trying to
drown the nervousness
out of the depth of my
bones. I will ache and
shake. I will drop my
knives and blades , because
this was not how I was
raised to behave. I will
refuse to be a slave to
my suicidal thoughts. I
will block my demons
from my thoughts. And
look for a way to untangle
the knots around the
ventricles of my heart.
And breathe with relief.
Cause I deserve a chance
to exist. I deserve a life
full of love and strength.
A life full of soft
melodies and
faith ~
Feb 2016 · 571
You Are ~
Carolin Feb 2016
You are tender love.
The letters that were
lost at sea. The poetry
the moon left for me.
You are those flowers
growing from the cracks
of cement. Those cotton
candy clouds. And those
melodies that play loud.
You are the exclamation
mark to my sentences.
And the chalk that draws
art on my chest and
bones. You are the
sunshine that
brightens my
life. The one
who made
me become
his one
and only
wife* ~
Carolin Jan 2016
He left a part of his
heart under my  

Stitched it up with a
silver coloured

Told me words of love
while the needle went
out and in.

Placed a kiss on my
rosy cheek and told
that he'll put my pain
to an end.

He wove love onto
my skin.

While his fingertips
were begging to
undress the champaign
lace I was wearing.

And the scar he left
was exactly like the
signature he leaves
on all the letters he
writes for me* ~
Jan 2016 · 659
Does It ?
Carolin Jan 2016
Is this what love does , make
society reject us in a country
like ours ? Does it make our
bodies float over the waves
till our limbs tangle up and
we settle on abandoned
islands and rock ?

Does it have the power to
bring out the humanity in
us despite the beasts we
have underneath our
skin ?

Does it wash you clean
from your darkest sins ?

I'm not really sure about
what love does anymore.
But what I'm sure of is that
we won't need the society
or our families by our side.

We'll just need you and me
for an eternity most
probably* ~
Jan 2016 · 384
Date Plans
Carolin Jan 2016
I don't want to be
invited for coffee
or tea on our next
date. Invite me
on a cup sea.
And tell me
poetry* ~
Jan 2016 · 464
Frozen Wolf Love
Carolin Jan 2016
In the frost in the snow.
Wondering lost wondering
cold on my bleeding paws.

Howling on all fours feeling
the fever inside my bones.
I look for you in the distance
ahead. Waiting for a sign
waiting for help.

Where have you gone
where have you went. I
can't go on with out you
by my side.

Who'll protect when the
day light dies who will
protect me in the
darkness of dawn.

**** the blizzard that
set us apart. **** the
storm that broke our

I need the sun to melt
this frost. I need you here
so we can touch. Most of
all I need your love.

You're the only family i've
got the last survivor of
our pack. You're the spine
of my back.

The one who lifts me up
and gets me going on the
right track.

Because your my wolf
boy. My shapeshifter.
My soul healer. Because
you're my kind of high ,
the brightest star up in
my skies and my quick

I simply want to let go,
close my eyes against
the cold, and fall asleep

The rush inside, I simply
want to let go, close my
eyes against the cold,
and fall asleep alone,
and let death sink in
down to my bones,
lonely, lost, alone,
no wolf boy beside
me, no one to
hold* ~
Last two paragraphs are written by my friend Harleen Black Wolf :)
Jan 2016 · 542
Forest Proposal
Carolin Jan 2016
Your touch on me,
firm, protective,
me out.

Trying to touch my
every detail that has
been covered with
the forest's leaves.

Your fingertips so
tender and soft
against my skin.

Your hands so
delicate as they
unknotted the
weeds and seeds
tangled up in
my hair.

Our thoughts drenched
us in love in that moment.
Our thoughts of passion
and lust began to turn
us on.

Making our hearts
pound so strong making
us both nervous and

Your heat warmed my
body that has been
cold for a long time.

Your hands covered
my chest and rose from
being exposed to the
wind and these woods.

Is it destiny that sent
you here ? Is it fate that
let us kiss and touch ?
Is love that allowed our
hearts to sing along the
same song ?

The leaves and vines
giggled when your lips
brushed against my
blushing cheeks.

The sky sighed and
weeped tears of joy on
us damping the soil
beneath our bare

Our kisses and hugs
made nature gaze in
awe. It made nature
shout out for an

While the birds above
placed a crown of the
brightest leaves upon
my head.

You kneeled down on
both your knees , kissed
my hand and proposed
to me in front of the
trees and the fallen
leaves* ~
Jan 2016 · 603
The Desperate Flower
Carolin Jan 2016
I'm the orange and blue.
The green leaves and
the chlorophyl too.

I'm the prettiest shade
of green found in the
garden of Eve.

My petals breathe with
lust and desire. Waiting
silently for your hands
to touch and caress.

My petals blush when
you gaze at them from
a distance.

You're beauty leaves
them amazed. Making
them twist and twirl like
a ballerina on an opera's

Trying to catch your
attention trying to make
you fall in love. Trying to
make you come closer
and pick me up from
the dirt and rocks.

Desperately wanting
you to take me home
and place me in a

So that i'll be the only
thing you'll get to see
when you wipe the
sleepy off your
beautiful eyes* ~
Carolin Jan 2016
Everyone's love has
faded from my heart
starting with family
and ending with

Your arms are the
ones that i'll chose
to run in when drunk.
Your chest is the one
that i'll hide in. Your
collar bones is where
i'll bury my face in.

For it's you that will
wash me clean
from sin.

And wash my body
from the alcohol
drenching it from
within in order to
make me sober
once again.

It's you darling.

My mind and heart
will always chose
you even if in a
room with a
hundred or
a billion
standing* ~
Carolin Jan 2016
Written with Nannette Wakefield and I :

Rose petals in the tub
are waiting for you and
I to jump in. Waiting
desperately to caress
our skin.
The night has come and
door bell never rang. Your
phone turns me to voice
mail. I'm all alone crying
on the bathroom floor.
Minutes after I get a
text that your with
someone else.
I cried as I took a few pills.
In the tub I went with my
night gown. The water
covered my every inch.
as I planned to drown. To
drown my sorrow to drown
my misery and shame.
As I was feeling low and
cheap I wanted to shut my
eyes under the running
water and sleep. So much
pain had filled my heart
and lungs. So much hurt
flowed along the blood in
my veins.
I heard echoes under water
of your name. I heard the
promises you've once told
me while I was in your bed.

How could a human heart
be so cold. How could you
kiss one's innocent lips and
play them like a magic trick ?
How could you fake love just
to please yourself and sin ?
How could you expect me
to cope with all of this ?
As I begin to sink slowly
down into the tepid water
I feel so disappointed to
have put my trust in you.
I feel so betrayed and
isolated and alone.
I start to feel the affects
of the pills I had carelessly
taken and then I start to
Who the hell are you to
make me want to end my
life when its you that chose
to cut me deeply with that
sharp knife.
You will not win.  And as I
see a petal float across
my face my heart seems
to be brought back to life
and race.
I sit up still groggy with
the effects of the pills but
with a new sense of my life
my purpose my will.
So don't come begging
me once more. Because
the girl you once knew
and loved does not live
at this door
Jan 2016 · 794
If I ?
Carolin Jan 2016
If I walk into the forest
will I become like those
big old trees ?

If I walk under the violent
rain will I be a wrecking
storm of my own ?

If I walk into a meadow
will I bloom the same
way the daffodils and
tulips do ?

If I walk in a wedding
dress and stick flowers
in my hair will you marry
me and say your vows ?

Will you kiss me and
whisper the words of
"I do" in my mouth* ? ~
Jan 2016 · 351
Crying In Rainbow Colours
Carolin Jan 2016
Some people cry with
screams. Others cry
with tears of blood
instead of water
and salt.
But I , I cry in colours.
I cry in shades of blue
and green. Purple and
raspberry pink. It
sounds weird.
But I cry in rainbow
tears. For every
colour has a
feeling of it's
own* ~
Jan 2016 · 1.1k
Eskimo Kiss
Carolin Jan 2016
I'll build an igloo from
your snow. I'll build an
igloo from your winter.
I'll build an igloo so I
can get a chance to
eskimo kiss your little
buttoned shaped
nose in the
cold* ~
Jan 2016 · 331
Mad Love
Carolin Jan 2016
I'll be flexible enough
to fold myself into a
boat to save you when
your drowning. I will
draw you a sun with
my crayons and oil
paint to make sure
the light shines on
your face when your
own lights start to
fade. I will cradle
you behind the
bones of my rib
cage on those
nights where
to open
eyes* ~
Jan 2016 · 454
Hold Me
Carolin Jan 2016
Don't let the beating
waves drag me away.
Don't let the waves part
us apart. Don't let the
ocean's salt erode
our bones.

Hold me like a pirate
does with his treasure.
Hold me like a lover with
pleasure. Hold me the
way lost people do with
rain drops in the sahara

Keep me close to your

Let me rest my tired
body against your flesh
and bones. Let me rest
the way clams do when
they wash up on

Tired and exhausted.
Lost and not found. But
yet they try not to

As they keep buried in
the golden sands with
their shells shut on the
pearls that rest upon
their rose pink
tongues* ~
Jan 2016 · 301
A Love Like this
Carolin Jan 2016
Seamless, endless, we have
wrapped our story into one;
Where do you begin, where
do I end?

Wherever the road will
allow us to go, promise to
hold my scars and wounds.
Promise to hold me tight
to create new paths of our
own. To share one another
as if we're islands, as if we're
cathedrals, as if we're
treasure lands.

Keep worshiping me my love.
Keep this weary heart pumping
keep it healthy and strong.
Fix the cracks found in the
four chambers of mine. Fix
the loose door knobs as well.
Fix me with kisses and hugs.
Fix me with your tender love.
Fix the broken in me and

We curl together as if in a Mother’s womb.
Twin souls joined and birthed forth into this
world forever entwined, Let us be each other’s
healer, lover, and best friend until our end.
Never more to walk alone blindly through the
long and lonely nights; only sunshine to warm our
way, hand-in-hand, evermore to stay* ~
-By Maureen Lancaster and I
Jan 2016 · 322
Just For You <3
Carolin Jan 2016
I hollowed out this
space in my heart
for you in case you
ever need a safe
place to stay.
I watered the seeds  
underneath my
skin. Incase you need
a garden with flowers
of pink , purple and
blue to meditate
in* ~
Jan 2016 · 555
What He's Done To Me
Carolin Jan 2016
He made me glow like
the moon. He made me
bloom like the flowers
of spring. But most of
all he made the
cocooned in
me break
free* ~
Jan 2016 · 504
Passionate Love
Carolin Jan 2016

Naked with no clothes.
Pearls and flower petals
scattered on the floor.


While filled with love
and lust. Lost and found
in your bed and arms.

Skin on skin.

While our nails are dug
in our backs. While love
bites cover our shoulders
and necks.

Our scents float around
like the fluff of clouds.
They fill up the room
from the ceiling to the


As you unlock the locked
doors in the chambers
of my heart.


As poetry rolls down
from between our thighs.
As tears of joy roll down
our eyes between every
kiss and between
every sigh* ~
Jan 2016 · 308
All I Have
Carolin Jan 2016
I have nothing to give
you but hollow ribs.
Rose thorns and
pebble stones.
I have nothing to give
you but these words of
love and broken music
I have nothing else to
give you but my every
inch for you to french
with those beautiful
cracked lips.
And for you to trace
with your fragile shy
fingertips* ~
Jan 2016 · 394
If You Leave Me
Carolin Jan 2016
If you leave me i'll suffocate.
I'll know how it feels to drown without water.

I'll know how to cry rivers
and lakes. My life will become
one big mistake. And i'll be
trapped in my room.

Making paper boats and
watching them float on the
tears that roll across my

If you leave me i'll runaway
from life. Slice my veins with
a knife. And watch the red
mix with the salt of my tears.

I'll drop to the floor as the
blood stains my clothes while
my eyeliner smudges and
smears as it covers the
details of my face till it
slowly disappears.

If you leave me the air won't
reach my lungs. The blood will refuse to pump in the
chambers of my
broken heart.

Because I love you.
Endless love* ~
Carolin Jan 2016
Light me up like a
cigarette and match.
Inhale me in like your
morning smoke.
Wrap me up the
same way you do
with your paper
rolls and
Breathe me in the
same way you did
with your **** at
the age of seventeen
back then when you
were wild and free* ~
Jan 2016 · 287
His Heart
Carolin Jan 2016
His lips are like the
edge of the galaxy.

His face , so bright
like mornings

His hair , wild like the
frozen flowers and
dandelions in the
meadows half
buried under

But yet so brave to find
a way to stand out
and show.

His voice , so calming
like a violin playing a solo
while shy and trying
to deny.

And his heart , oh his
heart , so pure and
divine* ~
Jan 2016 · 552
Caressing You
Carolin Jan 2016
Caressing you makes
me imagine how would
it feel like to finally touch
the fluff of clouds.

Touching you is how it
would feel like to touch
pearls in clams.

Inhaling your scent is
like inhaling all the scents
of the Arabia at once.

Kissing you removes
all the negative vibes
existing in the
room* ~
Carolin Jan 2016
Weave your smile onto
my skin. Wash this body
from its gentle sins. Kiss
me softly where your hands
have been. Make me
shine like diamonds
and gems.

I've been burnt out like
coals. Emptied like old
gold mines. The winds
blew the flowers i had
knotted in my hair. The
clothes have fallen off
my skin. The fabric fell
off faster than the
morning's dew on the
blushing petals in the
meadows and woods.

And I stood there
shivering with my lips
quivering. Waiting for
you to remove the
branches and twigs
covering my naked
exposed chest.

Waiting for you to bring
me a dress. Waiting for
you to bring me shells
from the sea. Waiting
for you to adjust them
in my hair for me.
Waiting for you to
hold the small of
my back.

Weave your kisses onto
my skin. Whisper tiny
prayers at the dead of
night. Watch them fly
and dive into my ears.
Watch them tremble from
your lips like they do when
you tell me words of love
as we passionately kiss.

Tell me poetry written
by Shakespeare and the
famous Edgar Allan Poe.
Watch me blush and
cover my face as I wiggle
my nose and toes. Watch
me moan out the letters
of your name with your
every touch. Watch my
chest move up and down
like a hurricane. Watch
the ******* turn me
insane and stir the chaos
under my skin.

Weave your love onto
my skin. Make my body
your favorite quilt. Let
me warm you from the
winter's blistering cold.
Let me stay with you till
you grow old.

For I promise to be by
your side with every
road you chose to go.

I promise to be by your
side whether it rains or
snows* ~
Jan 2016 · 577
The Sky Cries Kerosine
Carolin Jan 2016
The sky cries kerosine
when it watches us take
our lives and think of

It cries kerosine when it
hears us call ourselves
worthless and relapse.

But it also cries tears
of joy the day we get
over ourselves and

The day we walk with
our heads held high. The
day we walk with our
hearts full of pride. The
day our sorrows crumble
and die.

The sky sighs as it watches
us believe a little more in
ourselves. As we hold our umbrellas up to protect
our bodies from the fiery
red blazing flames.

And as we walk by the
river side saying apologies
to ourselves for the self
hate and the razor blades
we swallowed and ate after
cutting our own flesh* ~
Jan 2016 · 302
What Happened ?
Carolin Jan 2016
What happened to the
simple things ? What
happened to love ? What
happened to us human
beings ? What happened
to when you'd look at the
sea you'd think of all the
things we could be ? What happened to the poetry
you used to see on the
curl of the waves ?

Did the pure hearts
shatter ? Did they break
and scatter ? Where did
our confidence go ?

Why is it that we reached
the point of jumping off
bridges and boats ? Why
is it that we reached the
point where our own words
cause us to cough and choke ? What happened to life ?
Who sharpened all these
razor blades and knives ?
Where did the respect
and loyalty go ?

I'm screaming under the
ocean waves from below. I
hope someone hears me
out there. And if they do
I'd like to know the answers
to these questions. I'd like
to know before my soul
leaves my body.

Before it wonders off.
Before it goes. Before I
become nothing but a
corpse. Before I drift
away above the tidal
waves to the
unknown* ~
Dec 2015 · 1.4k
Mad Love
Carolin Dec 2015
Clothes stripped on the
porcelain floor. Shaving
foam applied on his beard.
A razor blade is held up
against his throat. Her
******* are now fully
exposed. They sit against
the sink his eyes blink as
she moves up closer
to him.

Head back on the wall.
She's got full control. Sharp
blades caress his skin. She
whispers sweet poetry as
the blade touches him. Feeling worried feeling little and thin.
He let's her carry on and do
her thing.

Silence falls as lust begins
to show in their eyes. They
both feel the heat and tension.
As she wipes off the cream
that's placed over his chin.
The good vibes start rise and
the love fumes caress the
walls and doors. He tells her
a story of a bride and a groom.
Little by little they find
themselves standing in
the bedroom.

Their hearts beat in sync.
Lust isn't making them think.
Passion stirs in their veins. They
both head to the bed. Skin on
skin. Chest to chest. Lips caressing each others necks. She moans
as he roars. Romantic poetry trembles out of their tongues
and wet lips. Chaos settles
in their hearts.

They finish their hot mess
and lay on their backs to rest. Hearing the pendulum clock
go tick tock. Wrapped in blankets they cuddle and snuggle. And
wait for dawn to come along.
So they head to the dock and
talk about their future plans and dreams. To kiss and hug as
they wait for the morning
sun rise and kiss their
faces and blushing
cheeks* ~
Dec 2015 · 656
Snail Man
Carolin Dec 2015
I'm a little snail with no
home or tail. All I carry is
this shell over my shoulders
and back.
Wondering slow and lost
into God's woods.
Living with the constant fear
of getting squished like cookie
dough by someones shoe.
Afraid of loosing my cool and
hiding for an eternity inside
my shell.
I'm a snail who goes wherever
my minds tells me to go. To
places that are high and
Under leaves and branches
of trees.
I'm a snail who doesn't want
to live the rest of it's life alone
and blue.

A snail who wants love , a wife
and a cozy home.
I'm a snail who wants to have
children and a wedding on pretty
river stones , where
the water floats by and
the fish pause to awe
and sigh* ~
Dec 2015 · 300
Die Young Not Bombed !
Carolin Dec 2015
Die young not bombed.
Heal wounds instead of
making new scars. Bleed
in shades of love instead
of different shades of red.
Make gentle love don't ****.
Plant flowers instead of ****. Scatter the seeds in the soil
and let the hungry and the
poor feed. Write poetry with
good intentions to allow your
words to caress a thousand
broken hearts. Use your ink
wisely instead of abusing it.
Listen to one another. Hug
your children when the sun
rises up. Say a prayer for your
lost ones. Light candles every
night for world peace. Gather
with your family over a warm
feast. This is how you'll change
this world to a better place.
This is how you'll paint smiles
on a million sad faces. This is
how you turn each other's
frowns upside down. This is
how love should spread on
mother earth's
grounds* ~
Carolin Dec 2015
I tried not to let it show.
The scars and damage.
My wounded heart , broken
ribs and soul. The sorrow
and pain. The thought of
not being the same as they
wanted me to be. Society
was to blame. Took a mattress instead of a boat. Off to the
river I went to make it float.
Had nothing with me but white sheets and a pillow. Left my
books and music back home.
I watched the fish swim from
down below between the river
black and silver grey stones. Wondered for hours in my
thoughts. Was this decision
right or was it wrong. To
runaway miles from home.
Or to let the voices in my
head take full control. Laid
back on my mattress and
looked above to God's velvet
red skies. The sun was setting
down. It was so calm and quiet.
The waters created good
vibes along. Felt like this
was some kind of meditation.
I never felt this better with
out my antidepressants
medication before. Shut
my eyes and wondered
through the empty
hallways of my mind.
They were pretty much
like dark corridors.
Shadows of the night
followed along. Shut
my eyes and listened
to the soft melodies
of the gentle currents.
Thought of staying
out in the river some
more and row back
later to home when
I feel ready and
strong* ~
Dec 2015 · 364
Pinned Lips
Carolin Dec 2015
Lips shut. Pin in.

Words trapped.
Metaphors drowned.

Body drenched in
unread letters.

Ink spilled all over the
room. Black stained
the white sheets and
curtains too.

Time stopped. Noises
went off.

The heart got mad. And
the soul went sad.

I was taught to never
speak my own thoughts
out loud.

I never was proud of
letting them lay both
hands on me.

I never was proud of
letting them silence
me starting from the
age of three.

Been quiet for a very
long time. Kept all my
words bottled up inside
that throat of mine.

Life wasn't easy or fine.

But the time has come
to set myself free.

To unlock the pin and
brush all the chaos off
my bruised purple
coloured skin* ~
Dec 2015 · 660
On A Christmas Night
Carolin Dec 2015
He asked his wife to get her
dance moves on a christmas night.
To twist and twirl like ballerinas
do in fancy ballrooms. To feel
the heat and vibes and create
a spark tonight. The candles flickering flame was moving
from the left to the right with
such an excite. The flames
went from orange to red every
time his hands slid down on
the small of her back. They
must of blushed while they
did the tango as well. They
must of sighed when they
kissed as the carols went
off. He made love to her
body on that christmas
night. When the lights
went dim and the
flames caressed
and licked the
concrete walls.
While the cold
winter's air
touched their
bodies and skin
as they were
exposed* ~
Nov 2015 · 2.9k
Describing My Man
Carolin Nov 2015
Your a fairytale. A merman
with pretty scales. A fantasy
a man that looks really fancy.
The eyes you have look crystal
blue. They make me want to
take a dip in them cause they
remind me of the deep blue sea.
And oh God the way you look
at me just makes me want to
stare at your pretty face for an eternity. Your eyes hold the
best of poetry. I saw love in
them the first time you turned towards me. Your beauty made
my skin blush from the inside
out and flowers bloom in every
corner of the room we were
standing in. I'm lucky to be
with a man like you. A man
that looks like the portraits
I have hung up on my
bedroom walls* ~
Nov 2015 · 308
Painted Birds
Carolin Nov 2015
The birds painted on
the cement wall were
born to fly. Not to be
stuck on a solid wall
and die. I scratched
the wall to make the
cement crack and fall.
So I can free the birds
despite that I knew
I can't. They looked
so dark and sad. But
they still deserved
another try and chance.
All that was left in my
hands was to pray
for my paint brush
to give them some
colour and a
little life* ~
Nov 2015 · 1.0k
Thank You
Carolin Nov 2015
Thank you for existing.
Thank you for all the
kissing and hugging.
The morning texts and
the late night sexts.
Life without you is nothing.
The world is dark when we
part and go to our homes.
My body becomes numb
the minute you leave me
The shadows and thoughts
creep in my mind and crawl
out to play.
The tears begin to gather
and fall the way heavy rain
does when it pours from
depressed skies.
The noise in my head
becomes loud.
Everything that never made
me happy and proud goes
on replay.
And I start to remember the
times that i've been used
and abused.
Those nights where I slept in
my bed with bruises and cuts.
The secrets I buried deep
down in my thin veins.
It all just gives me the chills
and it feels awful and
You changed my story and
the words I had written in
every page.
Without you I wouldn't have
known the meaning of a
real love story.
I wouldn't have seen the light
or glory. I would have probably
faded out into the black
and grey.
And so today I thank you for
saving me from the
depression that took
over me.
Those eating disorders and
bad habits. All the self hate
I had towards this body of
Thank you for loving me
with your heart and not
allowing any of my flaws
get in your way.
Thank you for everything
you've done .
And thank you for all the
things that you're willing
to do in advance as you
clutch onto my little
fragile hands* ~
Nov 2015 · 801
Run Away With Me
Carolin Nov 2015
Run away with me for a
day. Let's go to a place
that's surrounded by
mountains and a lot of
green forest trees. A place
where the flowers will sigh
and blush when they see
us kiss and touch. A place
where we'll get to be the
normal us. Away from the
public away from the law.
Away from those with judging
eyes and the haters dressed
in disguise. Let's run away
so far away. Where we could
kiss and hug. And talk about
our dreams with passion to
one another. A place where
I could scream the words of
I love you out loud while I
feel so confident and proud.
A place where you'll take my
hand and count to three. Lean forward and ****** a kiss
from me. A place where we'll
make a little bonfire and
have some coffee and tea.
Stare for hours at the blue
skies. Watch the dandelion
seeds and pollen grains float
away up high. Wait for the
stars to come out at night.
Where we'll be the only
audience waiting to watch
the show they'll pull on. The
only lovers up late in the
open wild. The only ones
who'll appreciate the light
they'll radiate in the dead
of night as they'll shine
bright in the dark
skies* ~
Carolin Nov 2015
Hearts bleed when you
place them in the wrong
hands. Lips crack when
you kiss the wrong men.
Our bodies become drenched
in misery when we sin.
The eyes cry from all the
pain they've seen. And the
soul is left broken from the
inside wanting nothing more
but to die. And our minds
never pause and ask why.
But when the sunshine pours
down on your face. Things
will get right into place. The
past mistakes will wash away.
And you'll find a reaching
hand. A hand of a man that
will clean the blood off your
face. A man that will mend
your broken chest and caress
your heart with tender love
and care. A man that will help
you get back on your feet
again. Give you hope and
faith. A man that will love
you despite your past mistakes.
Before you know it you'll be
his bride. And the angels
will write your history on
the fluff of clouds up high
in God's blue skies. You'll
get married and have beautiful children that look just like
him. And a new chapter in
your life will
begin* ~
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