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C J Baxter Jun 2015
I made you in the sand with trembling hands,
and waited for the tide to come.
And as he came crashing, we two sat laughing
at the world for finally giving in to our demands.  

New Zealand's rolling hills came rolling in after,
and we drifted off together, soaked in love and laughter.  
But when the Ocean dried, and childhood had died,
I spent years trying to make you again.
But your beauty was something that I couldn't capture.
C J Baxter Apr 2015
The moon warns me with a stern and cold stare,
" Don't go talking to her rivers anymore".
But the stars form her body, then strip bare.
Sweet science weeps, as the universe unfolds,
and wee wash up on consciouses shore.  

The angel lays with her wings tied to the ground,
laughing with a lustful and lingering gaze.
"You can twist me, or keep me here bound.
I'm just a shadow that you chase around.
Come spiral with me in consciouses plays."

We fell through the clock as time shattered.
I caught a minute to catch her.
                      Then
the minutes caught me.
Now I'm captured, asleep, and adrift at sea.

She is part mountain, part skyline and sea.
Not all will see here. But she shines clear for me.
C J Baxter Oct 2016
Riddled ramblings on and on.
Oh, how I know it can get so tiresome.
But these young tongues like to waggle
when the clock strikes quarter past
who gives a **** anymore.
When blurry moments ring for hours,
and glasses empty and fill themselves,
and piped up people **** confidence
until they remember their ***** training
and sit back down like dogs
who have disappointed their owner.  
Then, five seconds, minutes or hours later:
Bump. Bump. Line. Line.
And once again they've got a spine.
C J Baxter Apr 2016
We live to watch and are watched as we live.
You would think we would clean up or  hide.
But we lay bare and filthy for our watchers.
Caught up in this old spotlight arousal,
with her **** and his ****, and their new hair-do
or tattoo, or sham marriage, or over-dose.
And you know, we want a taste,
So as long as someone could be out there watching,
we live the horizontal life and watch as we waste.

“ Here’s my everything”, we say without a word.
  Our apathy and acquiescence sing to their tune.
  Sing our digits, our dreams, or sick secrets.
  Sing our pasts, our futures, all for them to see.
'Keep an eye on one another’s', Oz once said.
Though I never paid it any mind at the time.
For he was known to drift to some dystopian scenes.
But Oz knew, and perhaps he knew too early:
We live in public, and the private lives in the screens.
C J Baxter Dec 2015
An Empty carton is sitting in my fridge.
It’s been sitting there on the shelves edge.
It’s the only thing that is in my fridge.  

There is some money in my leather wallet.
But there's a blockade at my door,
Therefore I do not leave the house anymore.

So, I've been taking my coffee black.
C J Baxter Jul 2016
We are a whisper in an auction hall
where the greedy bid in a vile clamour.
We are unwanted; unheard in our call.
And yet it's our necks under the cold hammer.
In cowardice, we wait for it strike
like goats being lead to their slaughter.
And as the price inflates in an awful spike,
we are drowned deeper under their laughter.

' Sold! To the gentleman in black'

The gentlemen with the creeping crooked grin.
The gentlemen with the suit worth a home.
The gentlemen uncaring of hardship; unaware of sin.
C J Baxter Oct 2014
I am, not be, something I can not see.
And it turns me tormented to face
my own reflection, over and over,
closer and closer, to cutting that nose
from my face. And laughing as I do so.
But instead he mimics my lack of conviction.
And he winds fictions of me falling slow,
trying to hold the curves of the world as I do so.  

Even Atlas' strength was humbled by it;
The weight of this world could never have
been on my shoulders. But thats where I feel it sits.
So selfish, so arrogant. I am but not be.
I do not ever tell of this weight on my neck.
Instead in quiet torture I find my own respect.
C J Baxter Jan 2015
"Today my heads a little cloudy.
I don’t think it will rain though. "

A fog rolls in over my mind in the morning,
and I get lost when I think of anything but nothing.
The cities sharp shouts disrupt me, cutting
through my head as they call out their warning.
The clouds in this conscience turn angry, start storming
as all hell falls from them and the river starts flooding.
The ground shakes, quakes panic me with their thudding.
But at the back of my mind and idea is quietly forming.  
    It bursts through the clouds with sun by it’s side
like fist love beats through a young mans chest.
It fills every darkened corner with a passion that won’t rest.
It conceives hope, and like our mother nurtures pride.
And as the fog lifts my mind is free to quietly wander
through the landscape of our her- to reflect and to quietly ponder.
C J Baxter Nov 2014
My feet still shifting, my stomach still
swelling and contracting in itself.
I cannot look down. I cannot look down.
I can almost hear the steep fall below me.
The echoes of birds haunt in the their
fading song. But I stare out high.
High out and above this city- across its tops.

The peaks somewhat cheapened by the red sky.
It falls over them like a blanket, tucking it
in and keeping it warm for the night.  
The bricks, steel and concrete are weak
in their worldly nature. The sky swirls
and spins colours to the wanders of my eye.

I want to scream but words betray me,
My foul tongue and dimly lit wit stick-
stammering and fail to wrap around a thought.
I’m caught between a point and an apology.
I beg for symbols to tumble, for angels to
lift me from this roof and show me truth.

But they drop me back inside myself,
I still sit staring bare at this city.
Smoke sticks in my throat even though
its a few miles down from here.
Fear falls on me with the night
and the city’s soon enveloped completely.

But bright lights from high rises,
twenty-four-sevens, taxis etc. Blind
in their boldness. Their grotesque in nature.
People seem to be simply just match sticks.
I can only see them as far off as the Tesco’s.
By then my sight blurs and I dizzily have to steady

To keep from falling off the edge.
C J Baxter Jan 2016
"Kick a kumquat in the belly.
Tell a wee rose that she's smelly,
and ye dinnae like burds lit at'.  
Cook a cucumber in *****,
cook a cucumber in *****,
cook a cucumber in *****. "

" Excuse me, pal.. Urr you awright?"
C J Baxter Sep 2014
Spill. Spill. Wilfully ill.
Thrills till we're full with our fill.
****. ****. Skilfully drill
A hole in the day for the chill.
C J Baxter Jun 2018
Hurt people hurt people.
So says the doctor.
Hurt people, Hurt people.
So says the patient.
C J Baxter May 2015
Be mindful, but don’t fixate
Be outspoken, but diffident.
Be a teacher, but don’t berate
Be yourself, but don’t be different.  

You’re free to talk till your tongue ties,
If you don’t mind the clamour of shushes.
C J Baxter Oct 2014
"speak that i may see you".
The weak and the brutes do free you
to elevate to where they can’t see you.  

Yet I see all with clear view.
The bumps ahead we steer through.
Yet without the burden of knowledge

I fear you

All of you, all of me does envy.
All of me and all of you is plenty.
So all of me to all of you I lent thee.

Drink this cup and toast it to hearts
who long to taste the end just as it starts.
C J Baxter Sep 2014
Run your mouth till it runs off
and bites off her tongue.
Words flung like phlegm from
the bottom of blackened lungs.

The singing hero becomes the unsung.

The name don't ring bells,
it breaks down the house door.
Lays the residents down flat
on the floor. Panicked to their core.

Then cracked tiles snap.
Falling through the floor, as the
water pours. Floods the basement,
drowns the poets and the dwelling.

Smelling the decomposing, the
neighbours dread the scenes gore.
A simple drug scandal?
Or the ****** of a *****?  

For years they couldn't bare
to think for any more than two
seconds about what stories played
out behind that door.

But their tongues twisted truth
like it was a noose for a neck.
No empirical evidence, yet told
all when the police did inspect.

Funny how the mind winds fiction
out of nothing but simple prediction.
C J Baxter Sep 2014
blood thin. her arm was at ease,
but cooked in her mind were beings like fleas.  
They only grew fowler, more putrid with the heat.  
she only grew weaker as you do in defeat.
well when you accept it anyway,
Ive known a thing or two about it
but she couldn’t hear me through curses she was shouting.
I guess that was the hardest thing:
My mind would keep guessing
as the fleas were surfacing.  

So thats why I put her at ease.
For her head was for bed,  so take her now please.
My own head is sweating, I need her still and to sleep.
So take her now please, before they burrow deep.
Big Love x
C J Baxter Apr 2015
If I open it it will come spilling
tripping me choking me suffocating
this already breathless existence
that pours fear to dilute sense and
strengthen apprehension yes that
very one I gulp down each day
throwing it back up just to feast
on it once again in the endless
cycle of ****** torment that grows
swollen and engulfs my everyday
every hour every minute madness
where every second turning sickly and
cramming itself down my throat till the
clock breaks or I do usually me.
C J Baxter Jun 2017
The crowd moves without murmurs.
You don’t know when it started.
But you remember the day
you packed your bags and joined them.

The crowd moves without murmurs.
No one knows where to anymore,
they remember or misremember
old tales of the light that had opened up in the sky.

The crowd moves without murmurs
like cattle being led to their slaughter;
a beautiful and glorious death awaits.
Old tales of the light set to swallow us one by one.

Someone starts speaking:
‘ I’m sick of waiting in line for this.’
‘ It’s a sham’
‘ It’s a heaven you blasphemous fools’
‘ It’s a sham. Wake up. You’re living in darkness.’

The crowd moves on, as conversations break off.
Some break off into different directions.
Most continue to wait in line, moving slowly.
You don’t know which way to go.
C J Baxter Oct 2015
Go on and write, if write you must.
But you're words are hollow,
and not one will I ever begin to trust.
Talk of today, of yesterday, of tomorrow.
Talk of frailty, of failure, of innocence and lust.  
They are all hollow,
and not one will I ever begin to trust.

Go on and write, if writing will heal.
But you're words are whispers,
and not one can I begin to feel,
breathing down my ears and standing my hairs.
They are hollow, pitiful, and unreal.  
Go on and write, and see if I ******* care.
C J Baxter Jan 2015
The rush of the first time- just an echo now.
The lush grass withered, dried and caught alight.
As the flames grew we stood round and made a vow;
" Never again shall we do the morning like its night".
Show me clear skies, truth and the only way how.  
I've stood and watched my home burn for spite,
greed and no good deed could ever undo.
Show me clear skies where the sun shines through true.
              The last time's like the first but it quickly turns
to the second, third, fourth, fifth ungodly time.
And once again we're stood hear with burns
as our stomach churns and shatters our spine.
I have no heart to stop myself from stopping
the start of my own bodies natural rotting.
C J Baxter Mar 2017
She wore a cauliflower dress on her ballerina bones
and a stare that would avert a devil’s gaze.
Her legs were swinging to a three-four time daydream of tomorrow
as she looked out over the park where she grew up.
The black ink pond water shivered as the moonlight
danced upon her and made her feel awkward in her movement.  
Then she took off her clothes and went swimming in the dark,
and went under never to come up.

She did this once a week.

And a bevy of swans cried, laughing in the night
with a much-a-do about nothing in their voice.  
Eight white dresses swimming without care,
over where she did the Houdini, moon-soaked routine.
C J Baxter Jan 2015
Such crude and foul filth fills the minds of us,
all of us, no pure, sweet angels exist.
Beneath the surface- all that we ever discuss-
and amidst the house shrouded in mist
Is where thoughts leak out like a cuts soaking pus,
Where wrong bends to right and wrongly persists,
Where woman are stripped and men are whipped,
Where colours are scratched off and blood runs from fists,
Where truth is only true until someone twists
it like a noose for a neck for their unassuming victim.

This is what we live in- A house with a thousand ceilings.
This is why some give in- Above them another man is kneeling.

And when their old ceiling becomes their floor,
they pour pennies down through the cracks
and laugh at those scrambling down below.  
They watch them feel the walls for a door,
making smug remarks at the class each lacks:
“ Not a single painting or books in a row.
How on earth can they expect their riches to grow”.
But its not about how you know it, you know.
It’s not about having any fine things to show.
It’s natural persistence- the breeze and the rivers flow.

To climb the construction in which you have been confined,
is to fall for a foolish notion- a Fugazi another man designed.

I was born in it’s basement, among crowds
and foul, rotten breath. Flesh was scratched
from our backs as we were standing bowed,
they left some shoulders with their heads detached.
But I never fought to the top or leaped,
Never fought back in any fight I was matched.
I crawled, sickly on the splitting wood floor,
in search of what lay behind an old closed door.  
It took a lifetime time for me to find,  
but it lay there wide open with sky falling behind.

Our Mothers beauty lay within our Fathers patient arms,
and I ran to greet them while the house sounded it’s alarms.

His hands did not shake, her sea’s didn't boil.
But that old building now lays deep beneath their soil.
C J Baxter Oct 2014
Welcome to our world.
Curled toes on the newly matured.
Are you sure you wanna stay?
The girls heads twirled, then they hurled.
Then they were invited back to stay.  

Creeps prowl the streets like wolves howling for sheep.
Sexualise the innocent dream, split the fabric at the seam.

The naked reality might not be so real in actuality .
That glistening woman was a young victim assuming
the man in the suit could help her in her pursuit.

Consuming the explicit. Cross the blurred line to the illicit.
Its trick kid! do you want to swallow or spit it?
Innocence is hard to maintain in a sexualised culture. And there are countless victims
C J Baxter May 2015
Fall, spinning into it;
the old dream wakes
the new memory
and the open eye
fools the open mind.
Sense is re-arranged;
sordid shapes penetrate,
and distort the backdrop.
Then the ringing black.
Followed by thunder and light.  

Then he opens his eyes
C J Baxter Jul 2014
She was screaming her quietest kept secrets.
Letting the wind whisk them off to abandoned retreats
with no second thought, she was knotted to the ground.
So she kept on yelling
Just for the company of the echoes in the sound.  

After days of solitude, your own voice becomes a stranger.
Sometimes she believed that there was someone there mimicking her.
Mocking, and revelling in her misery.  But a cynic’s fair voice quietly
told her they were history.  
Now in the air, with no torment they exist blissfully.  

She emptied her chest as she cried back at them:  
"Why can’t I rest,  or at least be condemned? “
It replied with a tone to unravel her to the bone.
You are nothing.
An afterthought, but from which a whole idea will have grown.
C J Baxter Sep 2014
It swims in his eyes
without worry of me watching.
A kind of crazy spin stuck
like blood clotting. The rotting
space of a wasteland for a mind.
Where memories of people jump
      from the eyes they lie behind.  


I’m just trying to find a place to focus.
The locust leap from withered grasses-
hopeless. But land on greener pastures  
which denotes this time the enemy might
be closest.
         Closest, too close & under heavy dosage.  


No sign of sedation. Eyes boat racing.
Words flung from a tongue like first tasting
lust and embracing your own disgust. Chasing
thrills, gorge pills
                        By the bottle before replacing.


Crust flaking from wasting skin.
By eyes still wild, captivating with
a maddening spin.  
                           It can’t end.
If It didn’t begin.
Funny How Little people understand of allegory and allusions
C J Baxter Jul 2017
Kim Kardashian is my neighbour.
I see her every day, smiling seductively;
her curves grinning too.
She recommended some gluten-free meals,
skincare products, mobile apps, and friends.
She introduced me to her family,
and they are a lovely bunch.

I don’t know my other neighbours.
I know they are noisy, smelly,
up all hours of the night like bats.
But they haven’t been as helpful as Kim.
They’ve never entertained me for hours.
I’ve not seen their break downs, break ups,
make ups, and family meltdowns.
I’ve not seen them ****** and ******* ****
in a hotel without a worry that I was watching.

And Kim is never going to move out.
At least not until those curves stop grinning,
and she stops breaking down in front of me.
Not until she lets slip the mask that the machine wears.
C J Baxter Sep 2014
She draws your eyes at first when you look/
Her soft hair falls like water drawn by electricity.
In the corner spines try and strangle books.
Or some sort of bone- might not be a spine.
But they are forcing them shut. Such crooks.  

Creeping in the corner of the warmer side of the room
Is a man who stares like he longs to be her groom.
I assume he’s the focus that your not supposed to notice.
“Don’t try and draw meaning! It’s useless to do so”,

Cries the voice in my head as I try and make my thoughts slow.

I shall just gaze emptily. Theres plenty to please
my eyes without meaning rotting my brain like disease.
But theres need to unravel why he glares at her crimson.
Why crimson? Why Crimson? I have to listen.

“ Perhaps his face is the blood that runs through us.
A symbol of lust? Love? Or Mistrust. Lets discuss”/  

I must shut this noise at once. Enough.
I can’t start tying this to myself or my own health.
Ignore what is felt, focus on the symbols with context.
Think of what is in front of you not what might be next.

“ But whats next messed before. ******* it right up.
The man had been hexed in folk tale made up!
She stole the symbol and painted him to creep up.”

Regardless, Lets part with these thoughts and just focus.
Theres locust that leap beneath her feet we didn’t notice.
Now Locusts can be hopeless but also denote somewhat biblically.
Perhaps this plague lurking is his misery? Represented Physically

“ By a woman on a hill painted with locust covered feet.
A crimson man behind her sat creeping perched on a seat.
In the corner theres a pile of books with titles you can’t read.
And spines try and choke them but instead they somehow feed."

And all this by a woman who I know could not see me.
Trying to approach allegorical work in a realist manner results, understandably in confusion. This poem celebrates the confusion
C J Baxter Oct 2014
A poet, by necessity, cannot be a genius. What most poets are, are manics with a knack for finding a consistency- logical or illogical- in the human condition and the world around them. A poet, within themselves, has the ability to create something that otherwise could not exist in the tangible world; a thought, a feeling, an idea, a hope, a lover, even another world entirely. But a poet is not a genius. Or at least cannot be perceived as, or believe he is, one. For poetry to have poignancy, emotion and sense it must be selfless and selfish, sweet and agonising, peaceful and anarchic. But it cannot ever be the work of a genius. Geniuses are absolute in themselves, poets are abstract. Genius is the work of a researcher who finds a cure for deadly disease, not the simplicity of words. However poets can bring faith, sympathy, and even light a fire within their reader. But poets are not geniuses. They are wordsmiths that wind this world into something better or worse in their minds, in the hope that someone else will see it too. A poet cannot provide absolute truth or reason, therefore cannot ever be a genius. Their work however can be ingenious.
C J Baxter Sep 2014
The doctors cant give you anything for the pain.
C J Baxter May 2015
Angst sees a way out but it’s not one to be desired; a bleeding white light at the end of the tunnel. He pushes himself toward it, gasping for the air as he does so. “ This is it This time This time it’s it” ,rambles his wee head. Alisdair had told him before of these big mouths in the streets, but he had never believed such fancies until sure enough he fell in face first. Now he can see the end, he can see the key, and he can see the truth: that there was somewhere elsewhere. Somewhere you have to find but can never just pay a visit. 

He is not in the middle of some inter dimensional drift (although for logics sake you could believe so if it pleased you), he is as here as the words that here appear. It’s something else thats went elsewhere- his mind. You could be quick to label this a condition of his, or you could just as easily label him a condition of this “ drift”  if you like. Either way, he’s in his own little world I guess you’d say- well almost there.   

But as he pushes on through chocking, and growing weaker with exhaustion as he stares out into the white light, with the sweet hope and heat it promises, he thinks to himself just how much easier it would be to die again.
C J Baxter Jun 2015
There's nothing wrong with a rainbow,
every hue of you is there reflected.
So how can you object to it?
How can you feel sick with disgust or distrust ?
How can you sit and resent it?
Lets stand hand in hand with man and man,
woman and woman, man and woman
and guide the children to a better view.
From the top of a hand built mountain
we'll sit counting rainbows in the sky till its no longer blue.
But every single shade of me and you.
Beautiful to see America finally united in marriage equality. Still a long way to go in terms of acceptance, and my frustration with the narrow minded is the essence of this poem. TY4YT
C J Baxter Mar 2015
The sky was on his side, lay’n with his eyes closed.  
So I lay down a little while longer.
She spoke, then vanished, then laughed and posed,
as shifts under foot were getting stronger.

Then he walked in with a clock on his head,
and a parade of actors I could’t place
to a role. Some, by now, were surely dead.
Then the skin came loose from everyones face.

She was back in my arms a moment later,
with a smile that shattered like glass.
Then the crash:
                        There
                     we        lay,
broken
in our euphoria.

I tried to stay there, but there’s always changing here.
C J Baxter Jul 2014
I set fire to the remains.
The stain still wont leave.
Two straight weeks on my knees scrubbing.
The stain still wont leave.

Its not all of it,
For the most part its more than clean.
But there is a corner.
A small crimson corner.

It's sitting there on my eye,
even when it is closed.
Even when I rub spices, sand and
the bleach from the bottle in my hands

It sits there like a sick joke.
C J Baxter Aug 2014
Patience has taken it’s time to consume me.
Awake, waking, drifting off in time taking
Hairs from my arm as the hands are braking.
The broken moment entombs me.

wrapped in a fraction of a second.
Achieve consciousness, a flooding
collection of memories and senses.
Just to break back to start at the ending.

Crashing against.

                              Re-living life over
and over. And over again. Fence me
to myself, to forget and remember.
For only a fraction of a second

In my mind its September.  

                               'Times on it’s
ridden race again’ say's Rabbie .
But I think it’s either stuck or turned
Madly.
C J Baxter Apr 2015
I found her again;  she was weeping snow
into the gaping mouth below.
Our very fabric was weeping too.
From the top of it's tooth I sat there drawing.
Then:
I awoke with my pen ( what manic scrawling).
C J Baxter Dec 2014
A red river runs with me- through the night
  and the heart of the city. “Burst the banks!”,
I yell but his movements stay slight.
Bobbing along, to the moon we give thanks,
for it’s filled their minds with the expectance of fright.
The wrong time bends its way toward the right.
Everything else bends too, to fill in the blanks.
  We’re starting to spill over. The flood comes tonight.  
The blood that I run with will stain your hands,
The river will coarse through young and old veins.
But nature doesn’t come calling out any demands,
She moves us-sweeping and cleaning up mans stains.  
Times hands are broken. Your guess is as good as mine.
Each horizon I’ve arrived at, they always move the line.  

I fell into the river from a childhood nightmare-
And sometimes I fall back home in the day.
But each place is the same- Scarily rare.
You can blame it on pixies or blame Gray-
Or any kind of thing that makes a young mind aware.
But I’ve laid my thoughts out and stripped them bare.
Pens cruel ******* of what I called real
taught me not to get caught when ever I steal.  
   I borrow thoughts that tie me in tight knots
as I try stitch them into a portrait of a woman.  
But they always twist into fantasies plots
just to burn out in the fires they were fuming.  
So hear I drift alone in a thick and red river,
Creeping with the wind and the moon as we shiver.  

At one point, a wholly spun world now ago,
were days when this river bread new life.
It worked mens hands to the bone to grow
family and cloth each beautiful wife.
Helped purpose find its way to the heart
of each voice that was silence by a no.
The river shares snippets of his life with me.
Speaks a a story that my eyes can see.  
    He told me his plans to wash away the old,
now that those in high places think they’re above-
He floods the ground as this story is told,  
Sweeping up lost voices and spirits in love.
The river has given us life, like so many before,
one day he will whisk us off to a warmer shore.  

There are thousands deep under his water,
and some who float just above his open lips.  
With the love like a fathers for his only daughter,
he lets us drink his life but only in sips.
For greed can so often father slaughter.
It created hate in nature when it caught ‘er.  
Tore her apart, one sin after another.
Then sent us cutting out hearts- brother from brother.  
          We surge through the cities old and cold veins,
collecting each drifter lost in a dark way.
With the eyes of the pretty, the logicals brains
and the patience of listeners, we sway
with his rhythms and with no need to pray.
We’ll sway till the morning of a red skied day.  

     “ When now was never we dreamt of forever,
   of days shivering madly down this old cities river”

Through the black night, we sang these words of hope.
Thought one day we’d wash up in our old city
and walk on its streets and it’d be able to cope.  
To see it from the bottom and marvel at its scope.
Not to just walk and think “Oh its Sucha' pity”.
Those days when concrete handed me rope
and pointed me out toward tree’s on the horizon
are over. The grounds now are on the risin’.  
           Like hell being filled to its level,
we drowned demons and free’d souls.
But only for a second could we revel,
for our buildings were built without holes.  
And those finely suited sit their grinning,
Our old structures seem to have saved them.

“ We drowned in the waters we were swimming,
But were the only ones who ever had braved them”
C J Baxter Sep 2014
Everything is talking to me
and I need it to shut up.
Cut up the seams of my reality
and strip off the clothes to naked

normality.  

My mentality is beaten by my morality.
For life, in seconds close to finality,
makes us strive toward normality.
Forced behaviours- just another generality.

Don’t put me in a box!
the walls will start talking to me.
Shouting at me, spilling drivel
filling the level all around me.

I’ll drown its words.
My last words will be heard
ringing- "This is not what I deserved”.

Im just a nerve trapped in this society.
Cant keep to sobriety without the anxiety
creeping quietly form silently to violently
in matter of seconds defiantly.
Its not nice to place a box around someone
C J Baxter Aug 2014
The city is so tall.
I walk up and down the hills
as a vagabond.
I the creature that crawls,
clutching my drink till it spills
and runs beyond.

Beyond the suburban nightmares
of the single mother.
Past the hairs on the chin
of her eldest son.
My water runs on out this city's-
runs out its entire sprawling metropolis.  

It runs, always gathering speed.

Tell me how do I go about stopping this.
C J Baxter Jul 2014
Hell of a hole you've dug here.
Forty feet deep you could scream and no on'ed hear.

"Well I thought it would keep us safe,
at least until the coast was clear.

"Well I'm confused what you think this is"

A black voice behind us sneered.

" It ain't no safe detention it's a God forsaken fear.
The kind
that steals your breath just to whisper it back in your ear "

NOW what the hells going on?
My friend who do we hear?

"I've spoken with him before when he isn't right he's still sincere.
And he's been with us this whole way, growing with the years."
C J Baxter Mar 2015
I don't mind hearing voices from time to time, for they keep me company in lonely hours. They never say anything harsh, hate filled or humiliating, they just chatter on while I sit here in silence watching the paint dry- thats not a metaphor or anything, I literally did paint the walls red this morning. I don't think I've don a very good job though, because I see little devils in the sloppy brushwork; They do hurt, throw hate and humiliate me.

I really need to put on a second coat, but I'm tired and the voices aren't telling me to move yet. I'll wait for their command, or for the devils to walk up and off the wall. Oh boy, then I'll have some real company. A crowd some would say.
C J Baxter Aug 2014
For god’s sake you’re the boat.
The battered, broken hope on which we are all kept a float.

Promises, Promises of a vast and open sea.
Promises, Promises. How it lied through my teeth.  

Upon this filthy little river, we shiver down so madly.
We hear promises of an open sea who's margins move so gladly.
And though they are just a whisper, I hear it crisper and so clearly.
And though I'm not the listener, I fear I’ve fallen for it dearly.

Promises, Promises of a vast and open sea.
Promises, Promises. How it lied through my teeth.  

The air comes calling out the caution. Warning us as often
as the boat creeks,cracks and splits. Will it be our coffin?
Lost in pursuit of a far away dream.
Where silver linings gleam from clouds that seem drawn.
False Promises
C J Baxter May 2016
And I think he's taken my wallet too.
C J Baxter Nov 2014
I have a gun,
I keep it under my bed
and just for fun
I decided not to tell anyone

But it weighs heavy

Now when people
get under my skin I don’t begin
to unwind and
let my patience wear thin

I just think of my gun under my bed.
I think of a hole going straight through my head.

My Heads just a borrowed mess,
I’m just a high liar, dire trier
trying too much again.  
You see friends
in strangers but behaviours
vary, yes its very scary times indeed.

I took my gun
out for a walk or maybe he
took me for one
when the sky showed sun.

And it weighs heavy
C J Baxter Sep 2014
Passing through people
Is scarier for me than it is them.  
They feel cold for a second.
          I feel infinitely alone.

I shake them and they don't move.
I try and kiss her eyes closed.
She doesn't even blink. I sink
              into my nothingness

I think just as they do.

I feel like them too.
But whenever our paths cross.

I pass right on through
I've been a ghost for so long it's starting to haunt my thoughts.
C J Baxter Jun 2016
This child will move a mountain.
Its peak scraping skies that sit
too comfortable in yesterdays.
She will carry it the world over.
No ocean, no border, no man, no,
nothing will stop her travels.
This child will come to her rest
when the skies split like a vein
and tomorrow bleeds into her today.
And It's a day that we may never see.
No terror, no hatred, no blood, no,
nothing but love to flood from the skies.
C J Baxter Sep 2016
The clock clapped his hands
and told the time to go **** itself,
while the walls stood wobbling,
scared of the confrontation.
The telly turned herself off,
for fear of adding to the noise
while the lights flickered
as they thought of something to say.
But still, time marched on.
The clock made two fists
and waved them with fervour
as the walls tried to hide
behind their hangings and features.
They telly, still silent,
cowered quietly in the corner,
and the light bulbs no longer
had any bright ideas to voice.
Time marched on, uncaring.
C J Baxter Apr 2015
" And I’ll profit all the while”

Justice sits, counting white rock on her scales.
Judging the minds of a wasted generation.
“ Throw the addicts in a suffocating jail.
Film them, to scare others across the nations."
Watch their eyes spin spirals, biting on their nails;
Watch cruelty triumph, as innocence fails.
Watch a world being beaten, as order prevails.  
Let us feast and sniff our own damnation.
C J Baxter Sep 2014
Today:
My heads a little cloudy.
Don't think it will rain though.
C J Baxter Nov 2014
This time, this time

it doesn’t feel like he’s mine.

This time, this time

he walks without a spine.

Straight through your mind

to tangle thoughts into winds.  



This time this time

it doesn’t feel like he’s mine.

This time, this time

he walks without a spine.

Straight through your mind

to tangle thoughts into winds



and as you heartbeat falls behind

you find he’s ticking on without a care.

He’s everywhere, anything and many

things even I  wouldn’t dare to dream of.



Each is lost to his taking

Even when clocks hands

are braking or the earth is shaking.

Our fathers rather impatient.



And in that spirit I’m not waiting



To Catch And To **** Time.



Some will follow the projections

of a hollow blue light.

Others run without direction-

off into the black night.  



To catch and to **** time,

Detach his head,

rip out his spine

sending him wandering

as clueless as us.



Whats next? Whats up ahead?

Whats round the bend?

Have I got another minute

or is there just a second to lend.
Time's Up
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