In a moment,
in one blur,
it was all rushing back;
cigarette smoke on my lips,
leaning in as if we're about to kiss,
arms squeezing me tighter,
my head getting just a little lighter

that knowing smirk

your hot breath on my neck
and the last time I checked
your hand wasn't on my thigh,
then you say in that longing sigh

"Are you jealous?"

and the question still lingers
like the sparks at the tips of my fingers.
But of course, I deny -
after all, you were never mine,
even though you still often steal a glance,
we don't stand a chance.

*But I guess it's no surprise
that I still dream of twilight skies
and your emerald eyes.

Love is what remains
When passion
burns all else away.

At times
I think to myself
that I would give anything
just to talk to you
one more time
but then I realize
I already said
everything
I wanted to say
and at that point
I would just be repeating myself
So maybe
its really not the words
I wish to reaffirm
Its the memories
that I only wish to recreate
in my present.
Either way,
there is nothing left
for me to regret
except
my punctured pride
which I already swallowed
So many moons ago

It's midnight and I find myself accidentally thinking about you... a little too much. My hair is in knots and my body is sweating in this heat. It's funny, I can compare this feeling to the way I feel about you tonight. I keep thinking about the way your words somehow represent your cool hands on my burning body, how the way you construct sentences has me too weak to stand. I feel you leaving marks deep under my skin, itches I can not scratch. Somehow, the heat outside feels like you are breathing on my neck and I momentarily feel your hands caressing my face. And then I open my eyes but there you are still, in my head, inside me, clawing through me, finding my heart and trying to find a way inside. Put your hands on me, sew together words that make me feel as though I've been blind my whole life and I have only just seen the light for the first time. Tell me we can exist infinitely together and that not everything has to fall apart. Tell me we can just be here. I just want to be here. With you.

Hey rock-star boy, shaggy hair, loud mouth, striking chords on your guitar
You might as well have been playing my heartstrings
Hey punk-rock t-shirts, smooth voice, bright eyes, I
Caught your glance once or twice
From
Shy girl, scared voice, straight A’s, no choice, I
Might as well have been taking down music notes in my books
Because no mathematical equations would ever add up the way I
Divided my boundaries just to talk to you I
Swore your song was perfect
From
Shy girl, corner dwelling, never speaks up, never acts out, never curses, never cries
There’s a reason guys like you aren’t with girls like me but
Tight hugs, this was different, wide smiles, this was different, soft hands, this was different
And I still somehow believe, you were different
But
Empty promises, fake tears, harsh lies, secret fears, deliberate deceit
Your song was playing on repeat but
The hard rock metal that once pumped blood through our veins was
More like the metal shredding my ribcage I
Felt everything sharper because I
Changed keys for you
Loud girl, sharp tongue, wider smiles, faker love, I
Glued wings to my soul, but let you call me Icarus, I
Fell into the sea
Fast swimmer, quicker to drown, SCUBA diver, sinking down
Oxygen torn from my lungs I
Breathed in different dreams for you I
Reached for different stars for you I
Can never close my eyes around you
Loud girl, center stage, honest tongue, biting rage, always cursing, always cries
Eating my words when you fed me lies
Hey
Rock-star boy
College drop-out, smoke in your lungs, breaking rules just for fun
The only “I love you” I’d ever spoken
The only time my heart was broken
Hey
Punk rock boy
Please get your song out of my head I
Can’t stand to hear this chorus again

you were one's most favorite poem which one could never have the heart to bring to words ---

not anymore.

These tired eyes are desensitized
from every lie I've been supplied
but I watched the tides
and rode the winds
yet still cant pretend
I wouldn't do it again.

Even if lose or win
      Even if sink or swim