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  Dec 2016 Budhino
Pagan Paul
She sits for most of the time,
in a metal chair with wheels.
Counting out the value of life
with an injury that never heals.

She waits for most of the time,
to confirm that she is really there.
But how many people notice her
sat down in her wheel-chair.

She's invisible for most of the time,
she is there but nobody spies.
So she spreads her tiny wings
and floats unnoticed to the skies.

She cried for most of the time,
always alone and lonely in a crowd.
Now flying free her spirit rises,
there's no discrimination in the clouds.

© Pagan Paul (25/12/16)
Budhino Dec 2016
At midnight
She goes to the river
For darkness hiding
Her reflection
Her being
From the world
That keeps demanding

When the morning shines
She feels new
But blue
For her reflection
In the mirror
Showing her true nature
Away from expectation

She yells at the screen
And later
Accepting the way she is
Feeling relieved
She goes on living
Budhino Dec 2016
There is time
When i cry
With a smile
With a strengh
And loneliness is my only friend

He tells me
That my weakness
And emptiness
Are my best weapons

He reminds me
That I should keep on control
That a mind
Is an open paradise
Where my follower
Are belong
And that I am
The leader
Budhino Dec 2016
I pretended
that I was a red apple
ripe in an old tree
in your backyard

you found me falling
and held me high
praising my nature
and my feature

you rubbed me
with your soft hands
peeling off the ***** soils
from my body

then you pulled me
so close
i could feel your breath
it was warm
it was wet

until you bit
my red body
dry and cool
and you taste
a soft white meat
till it turned into brown

in the end
there was nothing more
of me
and you threw me
right where you found me
under the old tree
This is my love story, there is no give and take.
just give and give. till I have nothing left.
Budhino Oct 2016
I call it
my pleasure
my comfort
my best friend

I create you
Once you have to go
I can only see your shadow
Then I create another you
I keep you alive
Believe me
There is always a space
In my body
For you
Budhino Oct 2016
A body
a body
two bodies
unite as one
there is another body
inside a body
they call it
their baby
  Oct 2016 Budhino
I'm exhausted.
I'm physically and emotionally drained.
I find myself looking to nowhere, thinking of nothing, empty
and I still don't know where all these tears are coming from.
I'm not mad, I don't feel rage, I don't feel anything,
nothing but this sharp pain in my chest that comes and goes,
and the sudden knot in my throat as the smallest thing reminds me of you.
But no, I'm not mad at you. Stop asking me that.
Four years later, after dragging me around, telling me to wait for him, convincing me of not being with anyone else until he was ready and me stupidly believing him. And now he is dating someone else and comes to ask if I'm mad at him.
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