I want.
I want.
I want.

to hold your hands

to kiss your lips

to run my hands through your hair

to lick your face

to bite your lip

to learn the taste, the feel of your tongue

to move my hands down your chest, down your body

to pleasure you, hard in my hands, make you come

to toy with you deliciously within my mouth

to have you inside of me, fully


I want to not want these things.
I want to already have them.

haven't written much because
i forgot how to feel.
i shut off my emotions
when i got sick of hurting.
but now i don't know
how to turn them back on.
do i even want to feel?
i still think about you.
you you you you you.

my father told me 
to change the world for the better
and suddenly 
i was a poet
but little did i know
that i couldn't change
the whole world
and i guess that didn't matter
because your world
was the only one
that was important to me

[holyoak]

You taught me to have coffee without sugar.
Only now do I understand what that means.
Bitter lover.