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Looking back I can see, how it all must have looked from your eyes.
The true nature of my actions, my words and my lies.
I admit there was something wrong in my mind
And it's only now I can see all the signs.
I broke myself for you, I made myself small,
I tried to be what you wanted, I gave you my all.

But it didn't matter what I did, what you wanted wasn't me,
I should have given up, and set myself free
But instead I kept smiling, "I'm fine" I lied.
I don't hold it against you, how you cast me aside,
But you see, when I finally gave up hope,
Life overwhelmed me and I could not cope.

I shut myself in, and everything out,
left alone with my mind, self-pity and doubt.
Like rot in my brain and decay in my heart,
It ate away at my passion, and my strength fell apart.
Forgive me if I blamed you, it wasn't your fault,
But I was bitter and tired, and blame is my default.

Then came guilt, a tsunami of shame,
When I realized that I was the one to blame.
In my selfish need I had broken our connection,
Wanting more than I deserved of intimacy and affection.
And here I stand, without you by my side,
With a broken heart and wounded pride.
I like reading alone,
I like drinking tea by myself,
and eating without anyone else.
I like listening to music alone,
I like painting by myself,
and walking without anyone else.

But when I see
A mother and her child,
Two best friends
Or a pair of lovers

I realize that
even though
I like being
alone,
I hate
being
lonely.
In the beginning our creation was supposed to lead to our damnnation
And as i grew, i cried myself away, but those tears carried me through the day.
More and more through perseverance I find my heart is still beating in these dark times are receiving and I've seen many days turn to Dawn
and I often feel so alone, so gone
but I always ask the question
if I speak will i inspire the weak?
because we all start somewhere
humble beginnings,
and through a Dark Night comes a bright day and the brightest day starts today.
Don't just hear my words but listen to what makes them true.
the beginning is now the clock is started.
we all have a beating heart in our chest that we can call our own
and it's our feelings that we choose to postpone.
but continue to breathe
it's what counts now.
This house you hope to build needs a foundation and maybe you've heard this before
but inspiration is the route on which we grow.
but how can one know because somewhere between the lines there always seems to be lies and deception and this is the Inception of Hope of great and yeah we all go through some hard...well never mind let's keep that refined.
We gotta take this jump it's a cliff away and we might not make it but there is always the chance .
There is a crown and scepter at our feet, but are we brave enough to take this job?
we have a place in the world.
we really do
it's a challenge to believe especially when we're always put down this is the place to start here the place you stand if you need a giant arrow make one ,
but be sure to make sure someone *knows your name
This will be performed friday
If i told you i needed help
would you listen?
Or would your silence
Echo off the walls.
See my life is like a car,
Sometimes moving fast
And other times so **** slow.
If i told you i feel hurt inside
would you not just hear
but listen
to what i said
I need someone to care.
Im tired of trying to fight alone.
Im tired of trying to survive at a table for one.
If i told you
I cry all over my body
And each tear is a knife
And they are leaving scars on my flesh,
Would you cut me a bandage,
Sop up my blood,
Or leave me to bleed out.
If i told you
I was alone and my demons are taunting me
would you get me out
Or would you keep walking
or keep scrolling...
Im not begging for attention,
But one cannot be expected to be alone and silent like a life long detention.
If i told you
I was ready to confess everything
Come clean from my secrets,
Strip myself naked so you could see my imperfections
would you care even the slightest bit
Or are you so selfish
And so ignorant
To walk on
And leave this person to die.
If i told you i was ready to die
would you blame it in cliche,
Or believe it and save me from damnation

Its time to think.
It could be up to you
This isnt just my world,
Its yours, too
and dont you want to be
somebody
To someone?
I need you.
Because all of these "if i told you's
Are becoming
**im telling you
Help people. Dont leave them alone. Provide help. Depression is very real, and it is all around us. Repost if this means something to YOU
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