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mk May 2018
waking up this morning
to inhale and realize
you haven't tasted air this fresh
in so long
your starved lungs gasp
and they expand
in relief and worship
your skin feels the sun rays
and you realize that the
trees have grown so tall
they are tapping at your windows
and the sunrays
are playing hide and seek
in between
waking up this morning
to realize that the sky
is a new shade of blue
with some yellow, some purple
a whole lot of orange
wondering why people wait on rainbows
when skies like these exist
there is a freshness in the air
there is a jump in my step
has that engraved pathway always been so beautiful
have those flowers always been so bright?
i notice the freckles on my roommates cheeks
i notice how red and grand the hair of the girl in my anthropology class shines
i notice that my glasses are such a lovely shape
and my eyes look so big and brown and light and deep
my curls are so warm to me, they treat me so well
and the color orange kisses my golden skin
waking up this morning
to inhale and realize
today is a beautiful day;
this is a beautiful life
and i am doing better than just okay.
~ spring vibes ~

wake up & realize i missed a few seasons in sadness
mk May 2018
~

several skies
and a million moons away
twinkling eyes
wishing you would stay

there is no glamor in sadness
there is no mercy in pain
there is no kindness in loneliness
there is no pride in shame

there are silver tears
there are sugar-coated fears
there is great magic in the worlds
we create for ourselves

~
this is a mood
mk May 2018
the night is bright
the moon is out
the devils are chained
the fast begins
~
ramadan mubarak, my lovelies.
mk May 2018
who are you when you are no one to anyone?
when your relationships cannot defend themselves
when the night closes in and you are not a daughter,
not a sister, not a friend, not a mother, not a lover.

who are you when your achievements sink into the ground
when your trophies and medals and memories of conquer
melt into ash on the floor, swept away by the breeze.

who are you when you have no first name, no last name
when you cannot show a form of identification
no passport, no student ID, no document that can say
look, this is me, this is who i am, this is my identity.

who are you when no one remembers you?
when you are not even a memory of those you once loved
of those you still love; when no one remembers the years or the hours
you spent with them, talked to them, touched them- who are you?

who are you when you are no one to anyone?
not even yourself.
when the world cannot speak for you
when the world cannot remember you
who are you when you have nothing left;
no one left.
who are you,
when you are no one?
~ in the middle of an identity crisis ~
mk May 2018
we are past apologies
we are past 'new starts'
with flesh baring scars
and a bloodied heart
there's something i have to say

i wronged you

you stuck by me
never once lifted
your power above me.
i was showered with
bliss- material, or not.
your tshirts, your heart
it was all mine.

i wronged you

you stuck by me
stood up for me
when the world
cracked down its whip
you lifted me up from
the ground that bore
nothing but pain for me.

i wronged you

you stuck by me
when i became the devil
i had been running from
all my life.
i feared my reflection
in the mirror but you
kissed my lips everyday.

i wronged you

you stuck by me
i did not stick by you
for you, it was about us.
for me, it was about me.
i've been stuck in myself
all along.

untangling these memories
and wishing i could make amends
going back to that summer
for which i'd always pray never to end.

we are past apologies
we are past 'new starts'
with flesh baring scars
and a bloodied heart
there's something i have to say:
*i wronged you.
لگتا ہے کچھ نہیں بچا
mk May 2018
my tears are getting my paper mask soggy
too close for comfort, it sticks to me
i've tried so hard to find a mask that fits
but i end up with safety scissors and colored paper
cutting and crafting my own face for the day
wake up, brush your teeth, cut a fresh mask
it gets wet and torn by the end of the day
you throw it away
start all over again
once, my paper mask flew away
a flush of pink and a dash of red
what do you use to cover up
the colors that speak so loud?
grow up, grow into the mask you made
grow up, grow into that role you play
don't tell him you miss him
don't tell her you hurt so much
the masks smile and they flutter
in the rain, in the fall
one day, you realize
you don't know yourself at all.

my paper mask never fails me.
things get better, only to get worse.
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