I hope every cigarette you place between your lips knows how lucky it is to be there,
I hope every bottle you grab a hold of falls in love with the warmth of your finger tips; I know I did.

I crawled into bed with death last night
I let her dark fingers wander my naked flesh
She whispered in my ear as she held my bones
                                                           ­              I let her have me
I touched her lower back last night
I let death climb on top of me and cry in pleasure
She moaned aloud and said my name with love
                                                            ­            I let her have me
I reveled in her cold embrace last night
I let her fall asleep heavy in my arms and my dreams
She became my tomb, my grave, my other side
                                                            ­            I let her have me
                                                              ­          All of me
She took my breath away
I rode her into the abyss

You told me you didn't like the way I stared for so long at sunsets. Almost as though you didn't want me to fall in love with something that was leaving. What you never considered was that the most comforting thing about watching it leave was the knowing that it would come back even more beautifully at dawn. You told me you didn't like the way my cheeks shook when I laughed, so I began laughing less passionately. You told me you didn't like the way I bit my bottom lip when I was deep in thought, so I stopped getting lost in my own head. You told me you didn't like the way I whistled while making the bed in the morning, so my morning tune got silenced. You told me, you didn't like the way my voice shook when I told you how much I love you. So I began saying less often. I did all this, to make you love me more. I did all this because I wanted to be the reason that you didn't leave; I know you've spent your whole life running. I wanted to be the home you couldn't find yourself getting away from. I was clay in your hands and you moulded me into everything that I've never been. I wish I would have been enough for you to come home to. I wish that my kiss felt as welcoming as the front door mat. I wanted to be everything that I'm not for you, but I just needed you to keep me.

Fire.
Fire in my eyes when I look into the spark ignited in yours.
The smoke, heavy breathing
coughing, trying to catch my breath
Hot, sweaty, my fingers on your skin. Bare skin. Soft skin.
Your hands in my hair. Long hair, rough tugs.
Shaking legs, wrinkled sheets, tight grips on old headboards
And this is it. Heat, heat, slowly getting hotter. Passion becoming more than just a word.
Lust becoming more than a thought.
You and me in this wild, uncontrollable
Fire.

I wish my heart had a hand
It could write about feelings I don’t understand
If you asked me how I felt, Id know what to say
I wish my heart had a hand.

I wish my heart had a voice.
when I’m with you it’d be the most beautiful noise
that speaks when I can’t find what to say
I wish my heart had a voice.

I wish my heart had a shield
Against a love that’s just weeds in a floral field
A love that dies at the end of the day
I wish my heart had a shield.

I wish my heart had a door
So I couldn’t let strangers in anymore
That leave scars in this fragile place
I wish my heart had a door.

I wish my heart had a sign
It could warn me about the lies in your lines
So that at the end of the day I’m not torn
I wish my heart had a sign.

These past nights I've been waking up from nightmares to the wind howling against my window; it's almost as though it's begging me to let it in so that it can whisper in my ears not to miss you. That's all I know how to do these days, other than search for the man on the moon and ask him how he copes with the loneliness. But even the moon reminds me of you; there's something about the glow that makes me think of your smile. The craters that remind me of the dimples in your cheeks. I wish I could tell you how much I miss you. But I can't make words out of this ache in my chest and I wish you were feeling this too so that I could know that at least my love was strong enough to make you feel something other than regret.