Am I okay?

I cry every night,
And can't breathe most days.

I sometimes want to die,
And feel buried by all the lies.

I have a broken heart,
And trust issues.

But also,

I smile at the little things,
And laugh for no reason.

I have hope in my heart,
And light in my eyes.

I am getting stronger,
And I will keep trying.

So:
Am I okay?
No.

Will I be okay?
**Yes

In a house full of unread books
In a house full of unworn clothes
Lived a lady with an unused heart.
I often wondered how this ladies heart came to be
Full of thorns and full of scorn.
In a house of open heart
In a house of open mind
Lived a lady with open wounds.
People often wondered
How she came to be
Surrounded by brambles that she refused to cut.
In the house full of stale laughter
In the house full of fresh tears
Lived a lady that was numb from the heart.
I often wonder how it will end
Apathy and self pity create barriers impenetrable
For the lady with a heart of thorns.

If I could do whatever I wanted,
I'd live my life as I please.
The folks would call me crazy,
But really I'd just be free.

I wouldn't walk, but wander
And skip around joyously.
I'd throw my arms up in the air
And breathe life into my lungs endlessly.

I'd put flowers in my hair
And let it blow in the wind.
I'd take the make-up off my face
And have all of you as friends.

I'd kiss you on the lips
And fall in love like I mean it.
I'd give you my love in the softest meadow
Right after getting so freaking lit.

I'd scream from the mountain-tops
So the clouds could hear my voice.
I'd sing songs with all the pretty birds;
I'd give the world no choice.