Sins that track blood across black and White pages. Staining everything with deep Burgundy. These events leave a bitter aftertaste. The familiar taste of guilt. But instead of atoning, You sugarcoat the evil doings, That you find, Hard to swallow.
My emotions feel synthetic Fake feelings from a fake persona that I crafted to please you If only I could live for myself But I'm acting in a play One without an audience So who am acting for? In those moments alone where I wail Who am I doing this for? Constantly reinventing myself But why? I wish I could be free of this theatre I hunger for the curtains to close For the blazing lights to dim And to sense the silent applause Die out.
When you left I presumed I would fall back into my abysmal void But life moves on. The sun still rises without you next to Me. The world doesn't wither away. Because I'm stronger than you thought I'm stronger than I thought.
If I could see your true colors would you be a deep maroon or a lime green? Would we mix and create a beautiful purple or create a muddy puddle that echoes "we don't belong together" I wish that I could see your colors then maybe I could understand why.
You tell me I'm one thing, But really you're just afraid that I'm something Undefinable. You believe everyone is one or the other, But whats the beauty in that? Maybe one day I'm 'They' The next I'm 'She' Then the day after I'm 'He' Don't suppress me for being Everything. Nothing. And Me.